Oh I understand you lol
I must confess I didn’t had thought about that yet,
But I have the Dream of Purity, which is an absolute favorite for me and for sure will help me with accommodating the process.
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I have unfortunate news to share with all of you. Today, I learned that my mother has COVID-19. She texted me that she felt sick this morning and was going to get tested today, but I never saw it. Then on my way to work, she called to personally give me the news that she was sick.
I felt so bad for not having known. I also am sad that I won’t be able to see her for two weeks, because I’m only with her on weekends.
But neither of those things matter compared to my strongest feeling: I’m worried for my mom. She doesn’t deserve this at all, yet she has it. I know she is strong, but I can’t help but fear how this may effect her health in the long term. I don’t think she’ll die, but…
I can’t be afraid. I know she wouldn’t want that either. Fear is a far more dangerous virus. So I’m going to look at this with the greatest possible optimism, and return my mom to good health with the help of my positivity and encouragement…and don’t forget the Sapien COVID field!
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I hope your mom heals fast 
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She’ll be fine! But please send her some fields and keep us posted.
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I want to tell you guys about an unpleasant memory I had, and how I overcame it, starting at the young age of 15. It hasn’t been easy, my ongoing battle with anxiety. So the first time they had put me on meds for anti-anxiety, anti-psychosis, and anti-depressant. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I hated it. Instead of calming me down and helping me cope with my problems like it should’ve, it only made matters worse. I could not function for the life of me. I had pretty much stayed in my house for the whole week of ‘treatment.’ So I just say, ‘Screw this, I done.” And made a conscious decision one day, to not put that poison in my system anymore. Cold Turkey. I don’t like to be dependent on things, and this was no exception.
So I remember the day after I had quit taking the pills, it was hard. My anxiety started to get really bad, but I was intent and determined to be strong, and just stay off those pills. So after a week of being clean, I started to have bad withdrawal symptoms. It took me about a week ultimately, to fully shake it, and I was sure glad when it happened. But I recall one day(Before the symptoms were completely gone), my friends had texted me, inviting me to go out and have fun. I knew I wasn’t in the right condition to do so, but just couldn’t resist. These were my true friends that I’d loved, and they’re really the only ones I’d used to enjoy hangout with.
Though it’s been years since we’ve talked, and we all had already moved on, they made me into the person I am today. But back then, our bond was so close, that I couldn’t even fathom of making new friends. Some of them even have their own families now. Married and all. Getting married at the age of 19-20 is the absolute norm here.
so back to the story, got a bit sidetracked…
So this was back then when Blackberry. phones were ‘in’. We agreed to meet at the park. My dad had ridden me to the park, with me on the back of his motorcycle. Amidst of the bike ride, my symptoms were magnified and heightened. I was in a world of anxiety and panic… I was going vertigo, and I was getting chest pains so bad because my heart felt like it was literally going to thump out of my chest. it sucked, and it sucked bad. I told me dad to stop, and I couldn’t take it anymore, it was just unbearable. So when he stopped, I was searching through my backpack for my Xanax(alprazolam is the generic name of it, which I was prescribed)
I’d searched up-and-down, left-and-right. And still couldn’t find the pill. I was so panicked that my dad was like, “You shouldn’t be doing this, you need to stay at home.” But I was intent on going to see my friends, and screamed at him, “NO! I want to just hang out with them.” He had ended up taking me there ultimately, and my friends were waiting for me, there at the park. When I first met with them, they were all smiling at me. In that instance, I totally forgot about everything that had happened before I had gotten there. Anxiety and withdrawal symptoms, vanished. So I had thought… I ended up getting anxiety attacks about every 5 or so minutes. My friends were oblivious and kept asking me what’s happening with me. I just kept telling them I was fine. I just need to urinate. I had made up that excuse because I didn’t want them to know that I took anxiety meds.
Here in this society, it’s very taboo and looked down upon for taking anti-anxiety/depressant medication. I didn’t want them to view me in a different light or mess up the moment. But deep down, I knew I was suffering from my withdrawal, and it was so tough for me. I really thought highly of them, and I truly miss them. Sometimes I reminisce, and wished we were in still in school together, but I know it’s not possible… This was after graduation by the way. So they told me to go ahead. But I ended up not going because there were so many people around, and I don’t like being around people I am not familiar with. Even looks made me nervous, and I didn’t like them. So then we ended up walking to the food court. Ordered some food. Again, my anxiety kept arising. I was trying hard to control it. but while I was trying to, I was also making weird noises as well. Like blurting out words, quickly and uncontrollably. My friends on the other hand, were all looking at me, like, “What’s wrong with her?” Even under all that pressure that I was experiencing, it made me want to fight harder. I felt as if I could somehow manage all of it on my own. So things start slowing down for the better after that. It’s not bad as it was. I felt I had conquered it for the most part. It still exists, but it’s nothing like how it was. The mind can be very powerful.
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(Although this may be better fitting as its own thread, I decided to post it here anyways, as it does relate to the themes of this game)
Unfortunately, I am not going to talk about a good deed or positive change today. Rather, it’s the exact opposite. I am here to issue a public apology to everyone. That’s because not only have I stolen, but it was from a member of this forum no less. (In case they wish to retain privacy, I don’t reveal their identity, but they are obviously free to come forward if they wish).
I was in an NFT brainstorming group, and captain had more or less finished creating it. The last step was for us to say how many copies we all wanted before it was produced. I did want the NFT, but did not have enough money to buy it, so I told everyone that I would just sit out of this one. But then, another member of the group generously offered to cover the entire expense of the NFT and send me the money. I was extremely grateful for this, especially because it wasn’t by any means a light sum. So I accepted, and after giving my PayPal they sent me the money.
At first, I really did intend to use the money on the NFT. But then the longer I spent with it, the more I thought about other things I could spend it on, that I thought would grant me a more immediate gratification. I decided that something else would be more valuable than this NFT, and so I used all the money on that instead. What it was that I bought is besides the point, as the principle remains the same. I had betrayed this person who had been so kind to me, and spat in their face. And by spending the money which was intended for a specific purpose on something not for that purpose, I had stolen from them.
Immediately after throwing all the money away, I realized I was in deep shit. When the day would come to buy the NFT, I would have no money, and then be forced to explain myself to everyone. This thought terrified me, and I also felt guilty for what I had done. So, I talked in private with the person who sent me the money, apologizing to them and explaining my situation. They were not happy, and rightfully so, as a simple apology wouldn’t bring back all the money they gave me. I did try proposing a solution to balance the scales and compensate him, but it only involved more theft of money from others.
Once this person knew about what I had done, the rest of my group soon did too. I was deservedly disgraced, and I realized that I needed to make things right properly. I forfeited the copy of the NFT that I had reserved, believing it would have been better off in someone else’s hands. Then once I had enough money again, I sent back the exact amount that the person had given me.
Although the person got their money back, I still felt deep guilt, because it did not change what happened nor did it compensate for any indirect consequences. The fact still stood that I did something very wrong, and it could never be undone.
So, now you may all wonder, just why am I airing this all out to you? Well, there are several reasons.
Firstly, I hope that by doing this, I may be able to at least partially compensate for some of the indirect consequences of my actions.
Secondly, it’s because I didn’t have to. I really didn’t have to tell anyone, and this could have likely stayed as a regretful mistake of my past only known by a few people. But if something is on the internet already, everyone might as well know. And I believe that you all deserve to know the truth, because the best way to fight against dishonesty is with honesty.
One of the things I prided myself on in this forum, was being one of the users who did not have any stain on their forum reputation. But now, that just isn’t true anymore, and it would be deceitful to allow people to continue believing otherwise.
Make no mistake, this is not for any kind of “browny points” (wow, great job for admitting to something you did wrong!)
In fact, I am honestly scared of the public reaction to this. I come here to be a part of a community where I am often respected more than in real life, and by doing this I put myself at risk of losing that. I fear that people will have lost their trust in me because of this. I even briefly considered leaving this forum entirely, not wanting to bear the shame of everyone knowing.
But this is my responsibility, and I need to own it.
If I can take one positive lesson from this experience, it is that I realized I still have much, much more to learn before I can consider myself any kind of “spiritual” person. If I was, I probably wouldn’t have done what I did.
Although I don’t plan on leaving, I’m going to be taking a break from here and most other internet things for a day, and give myself some time for introspection and study. Then, when I finally feel brave enough, I will come back and be prepared to face whatever responses will be to this post.
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We all make dump mistakes
Sucks, but it is what is it.
Healthy thing for future, once get passed it.
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I think this shows you need to get SLR + an abundance playlist going and addressing your lack mindset sooner rather than later.
In the end you gave back the money so you did even the scales, and I doubt you will do the same mistake again (provided you address the underlying reasons you had the impulse to spend the money to begin with).
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If you have paid the person back and removed all the generated guilt and shame energy in you (by using with fields and other tech), then you have a look at what the whole incident is trying to show to you:
Namely and most likely, that you have a defunct money spending behavior pattern, plus a self-sabotating belief system that is using this pattern to do something and prevent you from doing something.
You need to work on your self-worth related to how much money you believe you deserve to have (because if you don’t believe that you deserve any then your subconscious mind will trick you into spending it).
And you need to take a deep look why you have sabotaged yourself by using this money spending and breaking-trust pattern and for what you have used these patterns.
Do you have a deeper trauma running in your subconscious mind that you believe you need to be hated on by other people for breaking their trust? Do you self-sabote yourself for being “expelled from the tribe”?
Ask yourself what negative thing this pattern and behavior was trying to achieve? Then you will find the deeper underlying issue of why you did this to yourself in the first place.
The important thing is that you remove all Guilt and Shame from your system, because these are blinding you from recognizing the deeper underlying issue.
…plus the link I will send you in PM
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Love you man 
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I think the way you handled this is quite revealing. It’s good in all honesty. Your guilt isn’t applicable here I’d say since you clearly thought this through and found a solution. People can make mistakes and not learn from them. But you seemingly immediately did. So i see little need in assuming you are somehow worth less or less spiritual or whatever your proposed ideal is.
That said i still want know what immediate gratification you spent it on 
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Several updates:
The girl I have been talking to, has invited me to her birthday party today! She seems to really like me, and this is the first time we’re meeting in person. So excited!
My mom is feeling better! Still a little tired, but already recovering some of her smell and taste. She’s officially off quarantine now.
People love me at my job! Customers especially like my bagging. I also like being kept busy. I made a good decision coming up here.
In my photo for Most Gullible, my female counterpart gave a neutral, maybe slightly pouty face. Meanwhile, I smiled brightly and boldly. I owned it. I didn’t really feel myself “caring” by that point anymore, I just accepted it lovingly.
I think what this personal exercise has taught me, is that I shouldn’t fear any new experiences. I have opened a lot of doors in my life just by being more open minded. And so, that is what I shall continue doing!
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Lots of good updates 
Good luck for the face to face 
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Participants also win an interview with wuwei?
I’m joining
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Ooops
Enjoy the party
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As this is likely my final post in this thread, I would like to give a reflection of my experiences.
This past month has been full of many new lessons and experiences for me, I believe more than any period in my life so far. Some may not have been comfortable for me to undergo, but they were all equally necessary to my growth. Yes, BPIL has likely been responsible for showing me the doors, but I still must credit myself for actually opening them. As I have said in the beginning, for most of my life I have been indecisive and closed off from new opportunities, usually out of fear and/or complacency. But over the course of this game, I have slowly undone this pattern by not allowing my fear to stop me from taking those leaps. Because of this, I have gained a spot in the yearbook superlatives, a larger/closer circle of friends, a (real) girlfriend, a more enjoyable place at my job, and a bit more self-respect.
Reading through the other posts in this thread and seeing the amount of likes, I doubt I will win the ascension tag. However, that’s completely fine. I am still grateful for the new experiences and lessons that have come from this prompt, and I will still continue to apply this philosophy throughout my life. And, I can probably just buy it myself when the store reopens. So, I extend my sincere congratulations to whoever wins.
The reason I am posting this now, rather than the final day, is because over thanksgiving break I am going to be practicing an intensive meditation course called The Gaiadon Heart with my mom. So, I am going to cut myself off from technology while doing so in order to limit distractions. So, I will see you all on the other side!
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This is a brilliant idea!! Would it work if we placed like 100 coins in the sigil and activate it? 
@Captain_Nemo could you please consider creating a sigil that would work like that? Imbue all the objects above with luck, positivity, joy, etc.
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Oh when is the last day to participate?
November 25th
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