Yesterday I had a phone call with my own mother that left me feeling a little… not great. She tends to make body-shaming comments, which, I’m looking back now at my adolescence, I can see affected me in ways I’m still working through (body dysmorphia, unhealthy eating, self-esteem/self-worth, etc.)
We’re on good terms, we speak frequently. I tend to be her “free therapist”. But basically she’s not someone I would run to for comfort or advice, or who I can honest or vulnerable with. It inadvertently turns into a competition of who has it harder. It can be invalidating. For various reasons, all of my siblings and myself, later on as adults, have gone to / are seeking therapy. Anyway.
I revisited this field the next day, and immediately burst into tears. This is the mama I needed.
As a parent figure/guardian of young ones myself, I tend to be very passive about my own needs and wants… UNTIL it concerns the children. Then I find myself advocating for them in a voice I didn’t know I had. I think this field is that kind of energy too. The fire in the eyes, steel in the voice, “not on my watch”.
I am so thankful for access to this facet of the divine feminine, that, as mentioned above, it would have taken a longer, more arduous route otherwise.
For my astro friends: Moon in 12th house things, you know? In my case Aries Moon conjunct Mars, conjunct NN. I’m like that microwave steam cleaning gadget that’s called Angry Mama or Kitchen Mama or something.
Just inserting a little levity. But truly, for the nth time, thank you.
