A Word Before We Continue:
Welcome to Part 2
The disclaimer was given about following instructions as stated. The next part will quickly make it known if you actually did what you were instructed or whether your better idea is more valuable.
The source of this material is very methodical because achieving a result in the most effective way is what they are interested in.
While a lot of this journey feels that is up to your subjective judgment and experience, the experiences that have been achieved by these tools and even the process of testing them have been because the method is objectively repeatable.
While there might be hype or excitement that another installment is now released, I highly recommend you follow the instructions to achieve the results this offers.
Be well
A
(Illustration by Elena Medvedeva)
The Journey To The Light: Day Two
Chapter 1: You Think You’re That, You’re Not
The night before Estrella decided that she should continue to let go of more concepts before heading to bed but this time she asked for help from light instead of just thinking of what she should work on. She was delighted to know that she truly had a companion now to help her with anything she needed but what she found was most helpful was to finish her day with a meditation just holding the love that Light provides and that she has access to.
Even though she stood up until late, for some reason, she woke very early almost as if it was a workday. Estrella noticed she was effortlessly happy and full of energy which she didn’t expect since it usually takes her about an hour and her first cup of coffee to feel she has a grip on her day. “Light, Are you still there?”
“Always.”
She asked to confirm that the day before wasn’t just a lucky day and that she would be left alone from now on. “Light, I’m so glad this is real, thank you so much for helping me and I can say that I feel love for you.”
“The love is mutual and abundant. How do you feel?”
Estrella took a moment to truly feel this out instead of giving a robotic practiced answer. She noticed that there was absolutely no way for her to feel the emptiness she felt the day before, it was just gone. She also felt similar to when she used to wake up when she slept over at her grandmother’s home as a kid, the only difference is that the breakfast wasn’t already made but nonetheless excited for the day and full of love. “The only way I can describe it is childlike without any worries.”
“Today you have a choice, do you wish to continue or do you believe how you feel is your highest potential?”
“It’s really possible to feel even better than this?”
“The only reason you do not believe so is that you believe only what you think is real, would you consider that there are states in your experience you’re yet to witness and experience?”
“Well yes, but I cannot think of any possible way for that to happen.”
“Yes because you’re thinking and in order for you to experience these states you must go beyond the mind even if temporary. I ask again, do you wish to continue?”
Estrella felt resistant to continue, she just wanted to stay how she felt. “Why is it necessary to continue? Can I just hold onto this?”
“In your necessity of holding onto to anything in creation you will find that the need will also create the polarity of losing it. At the moment, you do not wish to let go because you fear that it will go away and yet your fear creates the condition for that to be experienced.”
“So to confirm, when you say continue it will lead to even better situations?”
“Yes but not without some initial work. Ultimately, know that I’ll be here to see it through with you.”
Everything in her mind resisted the idea and then she decided to try something. She held onto the feeling of the resistance to let it go along with the concept of resistance to continue which also went away. Estrella now felt curious and nearly excited for what’s to come instead of the resistance and as she felt that, she said “Light, I wish to continue, I’ll trust you.”
“Very well. Great observation on letting go of the resistance. You’re learning that everything you experience is malleable. In order to continue, you must learn to let go of the attachment of all you think you are and the resistance towards what you think you’re not.”
“Aren’t I who I am?”
“What makes you so sure?”
The tone of Light changed in an instant with weight in the message now that gave the feeling of someone putting a person in the spotlight and under a microscope. Estrella was taken aback by this and asked, “Wait why are you asking me in that way. I don’t appreciate the tone. I thought you were supposed to be loving and caring.”
“I am all there is and everything that was at the same time. What makes you so sure that you are who you are?”
“Everyone knows I am the way I am!” She shouted. “I am a strong independent woman that has made sure to make everything work in my favor and I don’t need help from anyone.”
“So what makes you so sure is that you believe that’s how people see you in their mind? Last I checked, I had to help you get over your situation yesterday so we can agree that is not very true after all.”
“I’m sure because I have the results to show for it!”
“So, in essence, you are a person that has an image to portray but in actuality, you’re just another person that says they are something because what others can see from you only to go back to your space and deal with the situations you’re too ashamed to show others. Why not show them that as well? Furthermore, what happens if all of a sudden those results you hold so important were to disappear and now what you have to show for is that you lost those results? What then?”
This message completely disarmed Estrella, she felt attacked and completely defeated. No matter how much she wanted to argue, she knew there was no point because at this point she would only say things to try to be right and have the last say. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because I am taking you to the truth of who you are and you must face the reality that you have built a world on selective illustrations. What if you didn’t have to prove who you are and you just knew instead of having to elaborate or demonstrate anything?”
“How would I do that?”
“You must learn to let go of the attachment of all you think you are and the resistance towards what you think you’re not by accepting it. This is your next task. Like all concepts, what you identify yourself with is no different. It’s just another concept, the only difference is how attached you’re to it or attached to not be it.”
“But that would make everything I’ve done so far mean nothing… everything that I’ve built so far. The battles I’ve won against this world that does not accept women as equals. The years of trying my best.”
“The only reason it has meaning is that you gave it meaning by believing that they are important with your feelings and your beliefs. But where do those things fit in when you were huddled over weeks back not knowing how to get over your emptiness? How did those beliefs and feelings serve in the time that it was most important to you? Did you not end up in the same situation you have been dealing with for years now?”
“So are you saying my whole identity is all a lie?”
“I am saying that there’s who you think you are and there’s who you really are and you’re one decision away from finding out what that means.”
“I’m ready to find out. What do I have to do?”
“Face the concept of who you think you are and who you think you’re not. Hold onto the essence and feeling of those concepts and love them until they are completely accepted for what they are and not the attachment or aversion you have for them.”
Estrella was looking forward to doing this but at the same time felt defeated and naked knowing that she has been living somewhat of a lie. She thought to herself, “I don’t understand what I’ll be after this but I am more curious of what is beyond that at this point.”
She sat in a comfortable position and sat to first take on the challenge of what she thought she was. The feeling was fairly easy to hold but she noticed it wasn’t a normal manifestation of it, this time she felt her very essence as a feeling. She decided to hold onto that and bring in the love feeling she was now accustomed to now using. A collection of thoughts and different feelings came in that even made her nauseous to face. Even though she thought highly of herself, she also had to face the parts of what she thought she was in a negative concept. There was identification with loneliness, emptiness, the negatives of her image of being a strong woman, the reasons her relationships in the past didn’t work, and the fact that all she’s ever done since she was a kid is put on a facade for other people and the beliefs she decided to take on as her own beliefs. She noticed that all she has been is a glorified copy machine.
By the end of this cycle, a weight was lifted from her mind and body. She began to understand that she doesn’t stop existing just because she rid herself of thoughts pertaining to her identity, in fact, the very opposite happens. The realization that she is a lot more than her thoughts became clear and so with enthusiasm this time she started the next cycle.
She thought, “Well this is going to be easy after all it’s not stuff to identify myself with.”
“What I don’t think I am…” she thought. Creating the feeling and holding it, she felt confident about the process. She felt the heaviness of this and then nothing was happening. All she had was the feeling of it and the usual process wasn’t happening. “Light, why isn’t the letting go beginning?”
“It’s easy to love what you’re identified with but can you love what you don’t think you are and repel?”
The gravity of that question hit her, she understood that she had to accept that she is also what she doesn’t identify with and that her life was just a pendulum of keeping things on the side she thought was correct. Deep fear set in as the first thing that popped into her mind was “I’m not a loser” but yet at that moment felt like she indeed was. “You’re telling me I have to accept these things even though I don’t want to be them?”
“How else do you heal your “devil” if not by embracing it first?”
Something about the word “devil” triggered total repulsion for the process. She remembered many conversations with her grandmother and her Christian beliefs. How much emphasis her grandmother made about guarding her heart and mind for the devil’s grasp. Now she started questioning this process more, “Light, you say I have to embrace the devil, how do I know you’re not an evil presence trying to control me?”
“Even if I was an evil presence, why would I tell you if I was? Even if I told you that I am not, how would that help you believe it? Do you go through life believing what any stranger presents to you as total truth? So the question that is important here is what do you actually use in order to navigate through life and know that something holds some truth?”
Without hesitation, she answered, “My gut instinct or intuition. It’s never failed me before.”
“So behind the current fear you have that is consuming you, ask yourself this. Should I do this process? Is this good for me?”
Even without finishing the sentence, Estrella felt a lightness about the process and a good feeling to move forward. “Even still, how do I know that this feeling is not something you’re manipulating to have your bidding with me afterward?”
“That’s for you to decide and to use your logic now on what have been the results thus far on everything that I have suggested. I will let you decide on what you wish to do because regardless my presence will never leave you and I accept any path you take without judgment.”
Estrella felt confused and troubled because of the fear of embracing the devil, she didn’t want to end up on a path that will lead to a life of damnation. She pondered about this, “Damnation… Do I actually believe in this? Is this my belief or something I was taught?”. No matter how many times she thought about it, all she experienced was fear and decided to let that go and see what happened afterward. She focused to love that fear and embrace it, soon she realized that it was something that was instilled in her by her grandmother. While she meant well she felt that until just now, she actually had a say on whether she wished to believe in that.
“The only devil I’ve ever had was the fear that stopped me from feeling love without judgment.”
She made her decision, “What I think I am not” she firmly said and felt. For one last moment, she braced herself and decided to love that part of her. All sorts of fears came out and characters that she judged in her past came to mind and feelings. Slowly but with an obvious result, the feeling began to melt until at the end she was left with a completely clear and empty mind. She stayed there for a while and just continued to love for no reason or purpose. What felt like hours passed by but as she opened her eyes, only a few minutes had passed by.
“Light, what was that?”
“Peace is of the mind and Love is of the heart. My purpose here is to empty your mind and fill your heart. Welcome to the beginning of your freedom.”
Game Instructions:
Let’s begin the real essence and purpose of this game, discovering who you are. Just as Estrella experienced, you will have to face these things as well. This process is one that requires the trust in your ability to know when you have let go of something. For this reason, the last part requires you to have daily practice so that you have developed the trust in your ability to process these things.
Activation for this section:
“Light, I have practiced faithfully Part 1 and I am ready to continue. I ask for your guidance moving forward. Thank you.”
Disclaimer: Keep in mind that if you say this and you haven’t done exactly that, nothing will happen apart from being bombarded with what you should be working on next.
Task:
For the following processes, pick a time and place where you will not be disturbed and understand that each part can take some minute and even multiple tries to fully get through. That said, I recommend running the process three times. The result should be that nothing happens when you say it.
Step 1:
“Light, I wish to let go and work on everything that I think I am. Thank you”
Step 2:
“Light, I wish to let go and work on everything that I think I am not. Thank you”
The result should be a further increase of the love you have felt so far and quietness of mind.
Chapter 2: All That You Are
This time with determination and enthusiasm Estrella said, “Light, I’m ready to go all the way to where you wish to take me. I will stop getting in the way and I understand there’s more to me than the feelings I have held onto and the thoughts that I was married to. What’s next?”
“First a talk for we are getting near of you experiencing the truth of who you are. So far throughout your life, you have used the external world to tell you what you are, should be, and the balance to uphold that. Always remember from now on that in your identification with your mind or as is often referred to ego, you have created the illusion, from now on anytime you lose your path all you have to do is to repeat exactly what got you to where you will arrive today.”
“What do you mean to lose my path? Wouldn’t I know exactly what I should be doing?”
“That is definitely the ideal but the reality is that you have been accustomed to functioning under your mental identity. You will surely fall back to the habit of doing so. Even now as you stand you are on the verge of believing that you as Estrella and not who you are have accomplished the progress you’re experiencing.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Wrong is not the essence for there is nothing right nor wrong about anything you have done but the mind will force you to label it as such and in doing so a new cycle of attachment or aversion of these experiences will begin. You have the choice to be it or think and label it. One version keeps the experience just as it is without the pretense of what you think about it and the other claims the experience to box it in for the purpose of creating an identity out of it. What will soon follow is the experience of losing who you are once again.”
“There are many that wish to put their input on these experiences on what is the correct or incorrect way in doing so the experience will be diminished once again for the truth is just that truth. The moment you begin to think and label it, that is the very moment unnecessary baggage is added onto the truth.”
“So how do I evade that?”
“How do you create an attachment towards the experience and therefore create emotions and beliefs around it?”
“I see what you did there!”
“You don’t try to evade but accept it further and continue to come back to the truth no matter how many times your mind tries to claim it. In contrast to losing it, you will learn what it is to continually be it until the experience becomes so abundant that you choose to only identify with that.”
“What are the signs that I am losing it?”
“The general rule you should follow is that if you’re more identified with your thoughts and feelings, it isn’t who you are. If you lack a full heart and an empty mind, it isn’t the state in which you can find. If you’re not experiencing life as one that is freeing, it isn’t the place in which you can express the unique experience of who you are.”
“I understand. What’s next on the list?”
“You don’t but you soon will. We have taken care of the mental aspect of who you are, now it’s solely on the feeling or experience of who you are. There’s the idea of who you are and the feeling of who you are, one aspect takes care of the mind allowing the present to come through and the other feeling the presence itself.”
“So feel who I am and who I am not?”
“Yes but instead of who you are I would invite you to experience all that you are and all that you’re not. So feel all that you are and all that you are not, you will experience something that is both familiar and unfamiliar.”
“I will get to it right now, thank you” said Estrella without hesitating this time. She sat in her comfort once again and said “Feel… All that I am”. First, she felt her body, then her inner experience of herself and how she is able to focus on it, a river of feelings began to pour in all at once, and as if someone abruptly turned on a light in a dark room, she felt as if she was everything all at once not just her body but the environment itself.
This experience was something that she had read about in spiritual books but always described as a concept and not an experience which usually just remained a nifty saying or thought. She smiled and knew what she had to do, “Love!” she said firmly. The separation between what she felt as herself and everything she was currently feeling disappeared and by knowledge of experience she felt she was indeed everything.
By the time she opened her eyes, she noticed she had tears running down her cheeks and a smile that seemed to be stuck without effort.
Usually, she consults the light after a process but this time she just knew had to continue without analyzing anything because she didn’t want to tarnish what she was experiencing. She closed her eyes and said, “Feel…All that I am not”. Everything became dark, the light that was suddenly turned on was shut off and a feeling of vacuuming of everything began, this process continued until she felt she disappeared and was nothing, an entity without existence. This feeling scared her immensely as she imagined this is what death would feel like. “I am not my feelings or my thoughts!” she shouted. “Feel… All that I am not!” The vacuum now became even deeper until not even her mind or feelings were present at all. In this emptiness, she gathered a bit of focus and said “love” in a soft voice almost as if she was in the middle of hypnosis.
The vacuum started shifting and consuming itself which felt like a paradox between the experience of everything and nothing at the same time. In a fragment of time that felt like an eternity but logically was only second Estrella felt that there was nothing but her presence with no mind and no feeling there was just that focus that she has become acquainted with and nothing else.
“Light, what is this? It’s familiar but I can’t say I know what it is.”
“It is you. Your presence. Your beingness”
“But why have I always been me and yet this feels different. So what do you mean?”
“It is you, the real you but you’re yet to know it because you still think you’re Estrella.”
Something about those words rang true for her but still felt like something she couldn’t understand. Estrella decided to silently embrace it and just enjoy the space and state she was in.
“Now we begin to help you realize it.”
Game Instructions:
Activation for this section:
“Light, I am ready to experience my presence and I have done all the work prior to allowing myself to experience this.”
Task:
For the following processes, pick a time and place where you will not be disturbed and understand that each part can take some minute and even multiple tries to fully get through. That said, I recommend running the process three times. The result should be that the experience deepens even further.
Step 1:
“Light, I wish to let go and work on everything that I AM. Thank you”
Step 2:
“Light, I wish to let go and work on everything that I AM not. Thank you”
The result should be an experience that you’re left with nothing but your presence and focus. A quiet mind, filled heart, peace, and love.
Chapter 3: The Truth
“Light, I do not wish to speak because for the first time in a very long time I am at peace and I wish to understand more. Can we please continue?”
“Wise choice. The only thing left for you is to eliminate all concepts of who you think you are. Keep asking yourself, “Who am I?”. For every answer you receive, feel it, hold it and let it go. There will come a time where silence will be the only thing that you have. Melt and morph into that and your answer will be made clear.”
Estrella didn’t have any curiosities or objections, she wanted to really experience what was beyond all this. The state she was in was something she searched for in all the activities she ever did and yet, here she is. She took a moment to embrace gratitude that it was simpler than all the other spiritual practices she has tried to make it out to be. She understood that all answers are truly within and now what is left is the answer of who she is.
“Who Am I?” she asked and from the depth of the silence her first answer which she said out loud was “Estrella”. She noticed there truly was a feeling to this answer which made her realize she was merely a concept. She sat with the feeling and loved it to accept it fully and soon after, it disappeared making the inner silence she has deepened even more.
Now in a voice that sounded as if she was hypnotized, “Who… Am… I…?”. The silence took longer to answer but she said “Everything”, the moment she said it she felt an immense presence start to take over but she knew that still wasn’t who she was so she repeated the process of accepting it through love and it soon after disappeared allowing her to sink deeper into the silence. This time some fear came over her.
Ignoring the fear she asked once again, “Who Am I?” at a pace that was faster than the last two, and with a feeling of trying to control the outcome she said, “I’m a strong woman” this answer felt heavy and like an attempt of defending herself from something which didn’t make sense because she was only speaking to herself at this point. She collapsed that again, the silence that was leaving her, came back and deepened even more.
“Who am I?” she asked once again. The silence was deeper than ever, it almost felt like she was on the verge of falling asleep and then an immense clarity took over her and she said “ME! I AM I!”
“I’m not Estrella! I am I!” The intensity of the experience was so vast that she ended up crying as if she finally found something she had been looking for all her life. The tears were both of joy and relief but she couldn’t help but let out a cry from deep within as if she was sorry for having denied herself for so long. She embraced herself with deep love as if a mother to her crying child.
“Light! Thank you! Thank you! I am I!”
“Welcome to the realization of your freedom, the meeting of your true Self. Soon you’ll also understand what you are. What we are.”
Game Instructions:
Activation for this section:
“Light, I am ready to meet who I am, please guide me in this process.”
Task:
Brace yourself but pay close attention to these instructions. This experience is one that requires a whole-hearted desire to experience your real Self. The ego can get in the way so I will give you one major key:
If in any of your answers it comes from a thought, it’s not it. Even if you say I or Me but it came from your understanding that is the task at hand, make sure to collapse it further, ask again and the presence that you haven’t felt in the past should come through. Enjoy.
In an undisturbed place and repeatedly, do the following:
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Ask “ Who Am I?” and FEEL the question. From that feeling that you manifest, you hold on to it and the first thing that comes to mind is the answer.
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Whatever answer you received, hold onto that feeling, and collapse it fully by using your focus and silently sitting with that feeling until it fully goes away.
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Continue this process over and over until you reach the truth of who you are. Your mind will be silent and the feeling will be nothing but that truth.
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Be inquisitive, repeat the process multiple times if you need to prove to yourself it is real. The experience will only deepen each time.
