So my 4 day trip has ended.A lot of things happened but what strikes me the most is how apparent it is that for everyone this was pure hedonism and nothing more(except those that got physically hurt).For me,this is like mining a lot of time to discover gold.This entire experience feels like set of different lessons that were teaching me about myself,reminding and making me realize how much I am different from everyone that was there(everyone that I could interact with or at least observe how he/she behaves.
I always loved my uniqueness,and when I talked to some actually smart girls there(didnt just drink to get drunk af,didnt get put off by my complex questions and had patience to listen to me),they told me how I just feel different than all those other people(without me mentioning it).Problem is I rly wanted to get lost in the experience and feel it as intensely as they do(enjoying our crappy music which is played at local clubs,except 2 techno clubs which are the only ones I go to),but no amount of Vodka and weed could help,it only dulled my senses.
Believe it or not I played at the chess tournament there,open for all students who visited in this trip,AND GOT 3RD PLACE.This feels like one of the most important achievements there were for me,again there werent a lot of participants but still feels good.
Ah the woman part that certain members here just know is always the funniest part.Well there were multiple scenarious depending on individual girl,most of them would be just put off by my vibe cuz the girl wants to be drunk and talk about smalltalk casual(dumb stuff for me personally) stuff or dance(and I cant dance to this music I mean I can but I feel like a monkey) and then there I come with philosophical question even though I am wasted(courtesy of Dreams brain stuff).Last night 2 girls brought me to their table out of blue,considering we met in public toilet.One of them wanted me,even bought me vodka even though I said I am fine with water(last 2 days of the trip I was only high and drank water entire evening),so yeah even she wanted me to let loose.But as luck would have it,her old flame came and her friend told me-This is gonna be brutal get ready,dont look but her old flame is here and knowing her she will hook up with him,I suggest u to not waste time and go look for a new girl,sorry it is what it is.
Those certain ‘special’ girls would legitimately offer me their help in pursuit of other chicks and their sincerity surprised me as well.Having female friends turned out way more fun that I expected it to be.I could have hooked up with one chick on day one,but that situation failed cuz I didnt wanna get involved with her,considering she is same faculty as the girl in my home city who I went out with once last week and rly seems like great potential gf.
All of this makes me feel like I am grandpa in a young body,and even though I know I didnt do anything wrong,I still feel like I could have done something better.
One of major lessons here for me is to start acting according to how I feel and how I am currently,last 2 days I wasnt driven to chase girls at all,but I did it cuz me from a year ago would be doing it.
I got to meet ‘Instagrammer’ girls,normal girls,3 ‘special’ girls who I can see as actual friends,some of the girls rejected me brutally,some just flirted and teased me while dancing with other guy,hoping to provoke me,some would invite me to join them,one group of girls were rly inviting and welcoming cuz they have seen me ride a bike in the neighboorhood my dad lives in,n amount of times and then I was titled “the neighbor”.So yeah it was a mix of everything and all I can say is that I hope I will unpack all subtle lessons that are hiding in other events of this trip.
PS:THANK U FOR ALL AMAZING FIELDS DREAM,THEY ENHANCED THIS ENTIRE EXPERIENCE AND HELPED ME GET THAT MEDAL.