Hi this is all very normal at first. Remember you are literally meeting the divine feminine. There’s a lot of awe and appreciation standing in front of you. That can clearly evoke feelings of nervousness and anxiety. It’s not really supposed to be super easy, otherwise anyone could come along and swoop her up. You will have to show who you really are. I don’t necessarily mean you would be required to be some sort of dominant masculine super alpha, but you would have to bring sth to the table. Ideally that’s the authentic you that you’re bringing. Having the real authentic you being rejected can be truly stressful and borderline traumatic if done for the first time. At the same time, it’s undeniably necessary for you.
In essence, you said you’re in a state in which you anticipate rejection. That can be easily felt and picked up by anyone around that you don’t feel well in your own skin. That’s why I said above, you will have to bring your authentic self to the table. Because that’s the most normal to you and will make you feel the most comfortable. It’s hard to generalise this to a set of specific behaviours. It has to be your second nature. That’s also the most attractive.
The most attractive is not someone following all the dating advice out there. Rather it’s somebody who knows about them, and identifies a synergy of his own being with this knowledge. The authentic person is the most attractive to anyone. If you feel truly wonderful in your own skin, your own unique personality, all the people around you will highly appreciate that. Obviously you’ll quickly able to find partners of very high value in that frame of mind.
You already show that you can be reflective and define what you really want. Also you are willing to improve. Which implies failure on the way. Yet it isn’t failure at all, it’s progress - to a state of freedom how others see you won’t matter, because you see yourself as the best version you can be. There’s an aura of awesomeness around you that’s almost addictive.
Let some of that inner beauty shine outward, build up those fearless and successful mindsets in a wholesome way and find love for your being within.
I wish you good luck and a safe journey, my friend