Got it Sammy im on it i am going to follow your steps and come back healed. Thankyou for your time 
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One thing to keep in perspective is that despite all efforts at self-improvement, today’s romantic marketplace is fundamentally different than our both genetic and cultural programming. The exponential growth in meeting/encounter possibilities make rejection/ignoring a better seeming option, which is why it’s being done so much. Psychologically, it feels like rejection because we imagine the selection process is confined to a few options when it could be thousands. Once you consider that, your expectations and hopes will not lead you astray.
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Yeah, dating in the past was very different compared to today.
In the past:
- A very limited choice of potential partners for procreation.
- Most people select someone from their own village voluntarily or get assigned whom to marry by their parents or their culture.
- Those still without a partner married each other out of necessity because neither could survive and make it alone.
- Alternative for some: become a viking / raider and go on a rape tour.
- Many children with a very high child death rate.
- Physically, the dating market is dominated by those with the most resources and raw physical power.
- Spiritually, this dating era is dominated by “Malkuth”, i.e. those who can manifest material results.
Today:
- Almost the whole planet to select a partner from thanks to easy travel options and the internet.
- People have much higher dating standards and are much more picky, but also have to invest a lot of personal effort in finding their personal nail in the haystack.
- Physically, the dating market is dominated by those with highest level of sexual attractiveness (looks, sexual energy, self worth).
- Spiritually, this dating era is dominated by “Geburah” and “Netzach”, i.e. those with the most action taking and with the most discipline will get the farthest.
Future:
There are several scenarios here.
I personally prefer the Group Consciousness scenario.
Spiritually, this dating scenario is dominated by “Kether”, i.e. unity consciousness.
Which dating era / scenario would you guys love to live in / experience / manifest, if you’d had the free choice?
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I enjoy the competitive aspect of today’s dating scene but I think I group consciousness scenario for its freedom and openness.
Interesting connections to Kaballah, never got too deep into it but have a lot of nice resources collected.
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Modern dating has completely changed how rejection works, but our minds haven’t caught up. In the past, getting turned down a few times could mean you were out of options. Today, with the internet and billions of potential connections, rejection is barely a blip…yet it still feels personal because we subconsciously act like we’re choosing from a small village instead of an entire planet.
The reality is, most rejection isn’t even about you. With endless choices, people are pickier, distracted, or just overwhelmed. Dating apps make it easy to pass on someone with zero consequence. But if you treat every interaction like a high-stakes decision, you’re bound to take things too seriously.
A big mistake people make is only socializing with an agenda…only talking to attractive people, only engaging when there’s a goal. This makes every interaction feel loaded and high pressure. But those who just socialize for the sake of connection…talking to strangers, chatting with old people, making conversation just to do it…naturally get better at it. And when you’re comfortable socializing in general, romantic opportunities open up without effort.
The dating game now favors action-takers. It’s no longer about brute strength or resources but confidence, presence, and self-worth. Those who put themselves out there, engage with the world, and understand that rejection is just background noise will always have the advantage.
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How to Improve Social Skills: 10 Tips to Be More Social
Good article.
10 tips plus
27 How to enhance social skills. < which IMHO is more helpful.
Learning social skills is like learning most things, like how to ride a 2 wheeled bike or drive a car or play a sport decently.
PRACTISE.
A field will help but it won’t do the “leg work” for you.
Start small and work your way up.
*Reposting from another thread
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I think it helps to speak to our monkey brain and tell and convince it that we are no longer bound by having to date “within our own village” but are now free to date the whole world.
A liberating realization.
F*** walking around the village like walking on eggshells!
No! We are now free to venture out into the world and speak to anyone without much consequences.
The average human life right now is 40 Million minutes.
While there are 4 Billlion people of each gender.
That means there are 100 new people of the opposite gender to whom you could speak to every single minute!
Oneitis is a monkey brain disease 
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