Do I have avoidant personality disorder?

General Discussion
#1

I have been noticing especially in these past 6 months when someone would ask me if I have a girlfriend or if I want to get married, I feel a huge sense of fear and embarrassment. Picture this, when someone asks me this question, my world feels dark and hopeless. Not only that but when people try to just find me someone or whatever, I get angry at them for not even heeding my words. This all stems from whatever has happened to me in the past. This is the only aspect in which I feel this huge energy of fear striking me all at once. I just shut down on the inside but do not show it outwardly. My tone changes to very monotone when I have to answer questions relating to intimate relationships. I just have absolutely 0 trust when it comes to this…watching someone from my own family suffering from getting too close to someone has hit me even harder. This event triggered it even more to the point where I just straight up despise relationships (intimate ones only).

Now when it comes to friendships and other regular relations, I have absolutely 0 issues. I don’t have fear in that at all. Everything else in life I feel positive about. But this aspect of life? It’s like not even in my dictionary.

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#2

I don’t think at that level, but I don’t feel safe about it either, it’s like it’s something I would never achieve.

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#3

These “personality disorders” and other labels keep changing every 5 years lol. And I’m telling it as a psycho (logist) myself and thus having the obligation to use these terms sometimes in my professional practice… but don’t worry much about them guys.

Most people have this kind of preconceptions; that is, they believe that one cannot be complete by one’s own self. So they project the same belief onto others.

I know how uncomfortable/pressuring it can be and cause anger.

Not gonna write a 101 here but personally, Subconscious Limits Removal has been the ultimate tool to help me remove my last doubts. I now care being whole and complete above all by myself… and when some other whole and complete person comes into my life, that’s just the cherry on the top ;)

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#5

Well that’s not what I mean, it’s not like I’m sad being alone, although I quite like the idea of having a girlfriend, but I don’t have the confidence to relate to the opposite sex in this way. I don’t think this pattern will change in 5 years, after all I have been like this since adolescence until now in the adult period.

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#6

It took a hell of time for me to realize that I had lived my first 30 years in total ignorance :))) although I believed I was intelligent and cultivated (big lol). And the more I get older, the more my ignorance grows… happily.

On the other hand, it surely decreases too, in some other aspects of life :) About intimate relationships, for example. Including the “how to relate” part which becomes more fluid in time, without even realizing it.

Confidence is something to be built up in time, as you know, and not a costume that you start wearing all of a sudden.

As for changing patterns in time… Again, it’s very relative. We can remain stuck about some stuff for decades, whereas some other “eureka” things may happen within only a few months… or weeks.

Not guaranteeing you 100% or trying to speak on your behalf, but you may want to keep believing in your ability to surprise yourself ;) Either way, best wishes.

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#7

One of the biggest challenges in life is finding a balance in everything. For me it’s especially the fine line of being arrogant at times or simply feeling straight up worthless. In other words getting stepped on or stepping on others. Mostly been stepped on if anything. Finding the balance in this is a challenge in itself for me.

To anyone that reads this, what is the best way to keep this aspect of life in balance? I have been reading upon signs of personality disorders and other characteristic traits. Thankfully I can say that I only relate to one trait of arrogance but the others don’t fit me. Had to take a good look at myself especially these past few months.

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#8

Not even the Confidence Mandala???

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#9

This is a very interesting question, it could be a good discussion.

#10

If you solve all your confidence-related issues at the very first second that you start wearing it… then, why not and lucky you :) You may want to reread some hats-off posts by Sammy.

Edit: Perfect Synchro :)

@dewbob1998 ;)

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#11

I guess I shall start a discussion on this then.

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#12

@777
I’m confused whether you want a relationship or not, but I’d highly suggest you don’t let outside voices affect your emotions too much. All emotions serve a purpose, and humility is a softening tool when one suggests their ideas to others, not something that the receiving end should feel. The later case causes the fear and hopeless situations you mention. You gotta be arrogant sometimes, and go with “that’s interesting, let me think on that” attitude.

And when you think, be aware of the snowball effect. You’ll increase ANYTHING you put your thoughts into. That can easily escalate to “do I have a disorder?” and victimize you further and further.
I’ve been there. Snap out of it!

I second this. Most “disorders” are just a way to categorize people that are not brainwashed by media and the culture they live in.
If you feel like an outcast in any situation, remember this book. It’ll take you out of the victim consciousness and increase self-love.
https://www.amazon.com/Originals-How-Non-Conformists-Move-World/dp/014312885X

This is also another gold point. A brother once told me; Never expect anyone to complete you. Be whole on your own, and wear your woman like you wear a ring. It goes both ways of course.

Everybody has ups and downs, and that’s fine for a massive percentage of our world. The problem starts only when you realize this and want to control it. “Power vs Force” is a good read for mindfulness. Just know that there’s not really an end to self-improvement. Don’t let it make you feel worthless because you started self-realizing. It means you have more than most ;) It’s just that kensho often starts with self-loath and then turns into a great tool.

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#13

Not going to lie. I feel 100 times better after using the repel negative energy v2 2 times today at work. I felt kind of bothered today about one of my coworkers who is the epitome of negativity. Always angry and yelling at everyone. Been working there for a month and not a single day goes by where he is in a positive mood. But anyways, he affected me this morning but during my lunch break I decided to use the repel negative energy audio and there was an immediate shift in my mindset and his to.

But as far as relationships go, there have been more cons than pros for me when it comes to that aspect of life. So for that reason my answer would be no. Not sure if I mentioned this but especially after watching what my sister has gone through, it definitely puts me more on the no side.

All of what you said in this paragraph reminds me of Bob Proctor

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#14

man, just put atmospheric riser vibration 2.0 on your desktop, I’m sure this boring guy will calm down, at least a little bit, I’m using this audio at home and things are wonderful, everything has changed for me since I started use.

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#15

Right now I’m just debating, the audio you suggested or the repel negative energy version 2.0 to loop for at least an hour while sleeping?
Come to think of it I am considering on using the atmospheric riser vibration audio in my room to while I am away.

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#16

I can’t say much about the negative energy repellent, I used it very few times, but the atmospheric riser 2.0 works miracles, I have complicated relatives at home, and this is calming them to an extent that I can hardly believe, I use it almost all day since I have 2 computers and the second one is more for audios of this type.

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#17

He must have experienced something similar. I’m sure you’d see countless examples when the dots are connected by experience.

For instance; Let me share a pop-culture example of the statement below;

It’s just that kensho often starts with self-loathe and then turns into a great tool.

  1. Matrix starts with Neo disconnecting from the social norm to the point he gets unplugged completely and ends up in an awful reality (his shadow self) -start of kensho in pain body-.
  2. He asks “why do my eyes hurt”, and Morpheus replies “Because you never used them before”.
  3. He’s bombarded with doubts and new perspectives of reality until he practices self-reliance to the point he overcomes his shadow self and gets resurrected with superpowers.

I’m not saying this would happen exactly to you, but I’ve been through a similar path without knowing anything about this concept. A cute lady tried to explain it to me at the time, and I thought she was weird. It turns out that most of our experiences are not as unique as we feel. Gotta use the map whenever possible.

and I hope I’m not coming up too harsh. My intention is to help a fellow out because I now know the value of it even tho these words often sound non-sense when you hear it first.

As for the audios,

I’d go with “negative energy removal”, “cut etheric cords”, “emotional release”, “amygdala healing” when you’re by yourself, preferable before bed and when you wake up.

Atmospheric Vibration Riser during day time.

Also, soul restoration audios are truly gold as well.

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#18

I started doing this and to be honest I don’t feel so upset anymore. Despite the kind of job I’m doing to.

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