Hi there.
I just finished reading a book and it stirred up some deep feelings in me about life. I feel like i am paralyzed by fear and can’t get myself to really live and do something with my life. I keep running away and hiding because i’m terrified of getting hurt. I don’t thing i have been truly living for a long time. I want to change but damn it’s hard. I don’t love this in between but it’s more comfortable than actually getting out there and actually making a fundamental change. I don’t even know who i am and what i whant so i’m not sure how to get to the real me anyway. I feel lost.
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Admitting it to yourself is a big step forward, asking for help is another.
It’s not just your emotional and mental state, it’s also your life. All of this will change in time.
We can’t write a couple of paragraphs to change your reality, but this is the right place for self-improvement.
You will find advices and real tools to improves the 1000 aspects of yourself and your world that can be improved.
It often seems far away, elusive, this better version of yourself that is happy and fulfilled in many ways in an abundant life. It’s hard to imagine what you’ve never seen and experienced.
It will take time and efforts and even with progress you may feel like this isn’t worth it but with focus and consistency it’s only a matter of time for you to move up the learning curve and discover the other side. To discover the life you’ve wanted.
You don’t need to believe, you don’t need to trust others.
Help yourself with the tools that are at your disposition, absorb the wisdom of others, try and adapt.
I hope to read how better your life has become in the future. You won’t be the first or the last to overcome setbacks and depression.
This forum is here for you and your situation, because you are not alone and many have been through it and more will embarque on the path you have started.
I guess this is me wishing you good luck, I have no doubt that you will see the other side.
The collective answers to your questions are all around you, thread after threads.
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Thank you for taking your time and sharing your kind words 
this was a really nice pick me up. I keep reminding myself that the journey is the goal. Bless you Phillip 
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For all types of existential fears I recommend the Amygdala Healing field + the Root Chakra Healing one.
You may also want to look into this topic here as a long term solution against fear:
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Thank you Jaaj 
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