It feels like a crown and then a limiter or target for something potentially negative if taken too far… power? pride?
Edit: read further down, gotta say, that was a moment for me. I’ve been trying to learn how to get out of my own way with my intuition for years now.
Perhaps have u considered Tower of Power?
I will research more about it, thank you!
Lately I have been confused and worried, because for some reason various kinds of troubles and bad habits began to enter and re-enter my life.
On top of that, I became less and less resilient and disciplined, my motivation and happines would go down gradually.
I tried to change my playlist, take a break from fields, meditating more often, but something was wrong.
I felt like my life was getting out of my control and I had no idea why.
It all became clear since I started taking cold showers again.
I realized that my willpower, motivation and happiness levels slowly began to drop the moment I took a “short” break from cold showers during winter Holidays.
When I stopped doing cold showers, suddenly I wanted to take a break from working-out too.
Then diet. Then sobriety. Then non-smoking. And short break turned into a months break
As I re-introduced cold shower practice to my daily life, suddenly all other challenges that require motivation and discipline are easier too, natural even!
And my levels of happines and contentment are all time high too.
Im never going to stop cold showers/immersion again.
Its ok to eat fastfood or skip a workout sometimes, but skipping cold shower is a no-no for me!
It feels great to be on track again!
I recommend everyone to try, but be carefull if you have heart/blood pressure problems!
Just googilng about benefits of cold showers will give you a ton of results.
Here is also a great podcast about cold exposure if anyone reading is interested:
Didn’t know if you were aware but:
Yeah, I was but I don’t think I need this, I don’t have any health issues that would prevent me from cold immersion.
Thanks for input though!
Today during my meditation I have noticed that two types of thoughts would occur in my mind:
“Passive” and “Active” ones.
Passive ones would happen by themselves, and they were mostly about other people or what I have to do tommorow.
Active ones happened when I analized the passive ones, engaged in them and/or trying to notice them without engaging my consciouseness in them. They also seemed to happen when I “started” to think the thought, instead of it coming to me, from the lack of better words.
I have also noticed, that apart from thoughts, sensations also wanted to draw me in and immerse myself in them, such as bodily sensations or hearing thigs happening outside.
So I would categorize 2 “distractors”; Thoughts and Sensations, while thoughts I would also categorize as active and passive ones.
Also, I watched Huberman’s podcast about resilience and tenacity today, and it looks like, that in order to grow brain part responsible for those, we need to consciousely engage in things we dont want to do.
So, for instance, if I grew to love cold showers and I await to do them, they aren’t as beneficial as they were at the beginning, at least willpower-wise.
So Im thinking about some meta solution; a thing that will always be unpleasant. Like taking a small needle for example, and pricking myself to the extension of creating pain but not hurting myself.
Im not a masochist so that would never be pleasurable lol, might be good for generating willpower long-term.
I just felt joy/Positivity from the mandala, but it can be thanks to the programming you mentioned - assertiveness and bring in control type of feeling good, Idk (I read your comments after looking at it for a little bit under 1 minute - well, maybe I should have tried for a little longer).
I’m not really great at discerning energy or programming 
.
If You want to and if you like this/if you have a passion, You should definitely continue on this path (magick, energy Infusion, Energetically programming, Mandalas creation, creating fields maybe, etc.)
Good Luck. 
Thanks bro!
I can’t remember where I read it, but it broke meditation down to two types. Awareness, which is the immersion of self in everything around you all at once more or less, and single pointed focus, which is the immersion of self in a singular thought/concept/sensation/meditative object (mantra recitation meditation would count) to the degree that everything else ceases to enter your perception, eventually, including yourself. Mindfulness is supposed to be a pretty decent mix of the two.
All that to say, it’s perfectly normal to have passive/active detractors during meditation. Successful mindfulness meditation is having all that happening and just returning to your focus (usually breath but it can be anything) over and over and over again.
Which, further simplified, means there’s no such thing as a bad or wasted or less successful meditation session other than the one you don’t do. It could be argued, even, that the more distractions you encounter that you successfully return to your focus after, the more effective the meditation.
I have had enough, I made a decision to be completely sober for the rest of my life.
Starting today, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no drugs, no weed no nothing.
No matter what happens 