I’m so thirsty for knowledge lately. I can feel it in my chest even and it’s starting to aggravate me lol. I’m looking for whatever knowledge you can help me receive from why were truly here, the afterlife, heaven/hell, God/Satan, etc. I just want to know what is real and what isn’t. I’ve read book with theories and stuff but it’s not enough for me. It’s not giving me the fulfillment I’ve been searching for. I just want truth and it’s so frustrating in a way I can’t even explain. I feel it throughout my chest and body just this hunger this thirst that I hope I can fulfill soon. I know God is real but I want to know if Satan is real, if demons are truly real, angels, etc. I want to experience and see from my own eyes even. I’ve had interactions with spirits through dreams but that wasn’t enough. I’ve had a spirit in a world of darkness tell me to bow down to them before. Who was it!? Who was the spirit that warned me of a war about a year or so ago? Who are the black shadow with red eyes I used to see? Why did I start looking the way I do in mirrors? Why do satanists claim they don’t truly believe in Satan but still bow to altars and do rituals and stuff in the name of Satan!? To me isn’t that believing? Isn’t it some form of brainwash? Is all this God and Satan stuff really just for money? If we reincarnate why do we forget?Are the theories I have the truth or just another crock of bs I think to be true but be far off? I just have so many questions I need answers to and I don’t know how to get them. I’m receiving everything I want besides the answers I’m searching for and it honestly feels like I’m being played with if that makes sense. I’m also at the point where I don’t want to worship anything but myself till I figure this all out. I don’t just want to hear 1 side of the story I want to hear both sides. I’ve tried asking god and tried asking Satan even. I never get any answer even asked for them to come in dreams and nothing. Are they even real? Why do people claim to hear their voice and speak but I can never get a simple hello from either side? I come in peace I don’t want no war or to start any bs with either side just simply want truth and I want it before this incarnation is done
You could read every written word there is and it will still not be enough.
Discernement comes from the heart. What’s true in your heart will probably change over time. With your lifeexperiences. And of course differ from some other peoples truth.
At this point in my life I believe that if you think Satan exist, Satan exist. If you don’t belive in Satan, there is no Satan. And if you think Satan exist, Satan has NO power over you if you don’t want (him?) to.
I’m open to I might be ”wrong” and change my opinion on this as my life goes on, but…
Also, a good advice on your journey:
The ones who claim to have figured it all out, know nothing. 
Have you ever hit the astral and was actually able to explore or communicate with anybody? I honestly feel like all the answers I’m searching for is there. I’m trying so hard to get there. I finally got there last night meditating for 2 seconds sadly. I didn’t even know I was there it was like a flash. I was meditating then somehow was able to “open my eyes” and saw a flash of something either falling off my couch or something or possibly a spirit that didn’t want me seeing it. I think I learned that I can’t stay there and explore because I don’t know how to keep the energy. It’s like I can build the energy to leave but never for long and I’m going to change this and explore very very soon. I was even told there’s a place where Lucifers throne sits and you’ll even see him and stuff. I want to know if this is true too. I honestly don’t know what to believe in anymore. I believe in demons and angels but are they real really? I feel like I’m learning good and evil doesn’t exist not one bit. It’s all perspectives. In my opinion if there truly is evil humans are the ones to blame not Satan, not no devil or demons or whatever. Sometimes I feel like I’m learning that heaven/hell stuff is real but different it’s hard to explain from my head but I see this world so different anymore. I feel like there’s all these layers like floors to worlds or something if that makes sense. I want to be able to see these things. I want to be able to travel as a free soul and do as I please. I want to travel between worlds, I want to move faster than light, I want to speak with the spirits, I want to speak with gods (if there is any) honestly I don’t care who it would be anymore I just want somebody to talk to somebody that I feel like is actually listening to me face to face instead of online, I want to be taken seriously instead of as a joke to the ones I love. There’s many more things lol I’m pretty much dedicating my whole life to this anymore. It seems the more I try to find it the more my soul runs or something. I feel so empty inside, feel like doing nothing but sitting here trying to learn, I’m tired of people asking me what my problem is then saying it’s because Im not smoking thc. I try and try to explain to them so many times why my energy is different, I try to ask them why none of this matters to them, I try to ask myself why none of this matters to anybody else, I try to ask why there’s so many blind and mindless people that’s all I see anymore, I go outside I see everybody it’s like their not there they all have smiles on their faces talking to friend or family. I see them eating at restaurants laughing and smiling not thinking twice about anything. I try to explain things to people and I can see in their eyes this spark then it’s like it dies and they try to change subjects and stuff. The sky doesn’t even look like how I remember it anymore it just all looks fake and last year I had somebody tell me the same thing and told me to keep these things to myself. I’m learning that but it’s very hard for me. It hurts my heart so bad I even shed a tear or two while writing this and that is very rare for me. I should’ve just listened. I don’t regret getting into this but I do regret not taking this one persons advice when they kept telling me to stop that I wasn’t ready for none of this energy work I was trying to do. He kept telling me it could possibly destroy me. I never knew what he meant. Never cared never feared. Now I’m stuck trying to figure out where I went if that makes sense. Nothing is the same anymore once I started waking up not even relationships are the same I don’t know how to explain it. I talked to my mom about this stuff not too long ago. She believes me. She even told me things I forgot about, told me she always knew I’d be special, and told me to be careful with this stuff. It seems that’s what everybody has been telling me even strangers anymore. I’ve been getting this feeling like I’m being warned but I just can’t stop. I need this knowledge this truth even if it kills me. That’s the mindset I have anymore and it’s not a good one but I just stopped caring. It’s a different type of care I can’t even explain, a different type of motivation that eats you alive I can’t explain it. No I’m not being stupid because of this but everybody tells me I’m not being smart either. They all say “what if there’s a reason you can’t do this?”
“What if it’s for your own protection”? “What if you would get stuck”? I always give just 1 of 2 answers. Either i tell them “at least I hold the truth” or I tell them “I really wouldn’t mind leaving this hell in the first place so it doesn’t scare me”. I feel like I erased all my fears besides the fear of not knowing the truth. I fear if I don’t get the truth now I never will. I feel like I’m running out of time and don’t know why been feeling this for quite some time now