We often hear that being yourself may not always be the best idea, but not being yourself can also be a big mistake, like when you see that guy being popular because he acts in a certain way and tries to do the same, but you are not the same person, and possibly this has a very good chance of going wrong, or working for a short period of time and you are not able to sustain forever, so what to do?
2 Likes
Everyone has to decide if itâs worth it to them to have someone happy with them for not being their self. Spend much time not being yourself and you wonât know who you are outside of how others treat you, so then youâre not you but youâre everyone else. And if everyone is everyone else then no one is anybody.
edit:
Had some more thoughts. Just coming to me. Donât take this personally, itâs just a good question for anyone, one I ask myself at times. If being healthy meant being unattractive to the unhealthy, would you choose to be healthy or sick? And if you chose healthy and over time discovered more and more that there are less healthy people out there than you would like to believe, would you still choose to be healthy and unattractive to the many, or would you choose to be sick?
If you choose to be yourself, you will find out that it does not mean having no relationship. It means choosing truth. You will find that the truth is a living person that you have entered into a relationship with. No one who chooses authenticity ends up forsaken. The many who forsake themselves for acceptance, though together, they all end up alone because the living truth that makes people people; they have pushed away.
5 Likes
All the âmasksâ we put on ourselves will never be the real âyouâ. These masks can be imposed on you by society, by culture, by circumstances, by your body, by thoughts, by feelings, etc etc. Essentially everything in the world are masks that we wear to avoid ourselves. As long as we search externally to find ourselves, we will never realise that the âone that is lookingâ is itself what we have been looking for.
So to be really realistic, thereâs no actual âbeing yourselfâ because the real âyouâ arenât your masks. The real âyouâ doesnât have form, time or space. Being your comfortable mask would be a more accurate phrase, so it doesnât really mean that you should have any particular mask to wear. We change masks according to situations and who we are interacting with⌠We are one way with our parents, another way with our friends, another way with clients, another way with enemies, and more⌠Instead, they seem more like habits.
8 Likes
That is a tricky question. I dislike being rude, or being tactless but at the same time I cannot function if I feel Iâm stifled or cannot do what I wish to do.
Huh⌠I am stumped. Good one.
I guess be âyouâ with what makes you happy, and avoid hurting other people in the process. In example if Iâm at a gathering and I didnât feel comfortable or if I was bored, I can just excuse myself politely, no one can force me to stay, but in the process I donât need to tell everyone that it was because I was bored. Itâs probably on me why Iâm bored or uncomfortable.
My balance is to do what feels right but avoid being insensitive to others. Itâs unnecessary and you donât know what kind of damage you might be doing to someone in passing.
Itâs okay not to be liked, whatâs not ok is to be disliked for the right reasons.
Just have some sets of rules for yourself that you donât cross, so that in the process of being you, you donât encroach on otherâs boundaries, and you recognize when others are crossing on yours.
That said, there will be moments when you may need to compromise. Thatâs where knowing whatâs right and wrong and your empathy comes in.
10 Likes