Hello! I think much about spirituality and there are some questions which occur when thinking about making the right decisions in life. It is often being said that you should listen to your heart. Others claim that you should always acting according to your conscience. Others claim that you should listen to your Higher Self. Now a few more questions appear: Should I act according to my conscience, even if I think that there is a high risk by taking this decisions, because they could change your destiny or your life in a negative way?
Should a person listen to his conscience when he canât listen to his heart?
This is very difficult for me because sometimes itâs hard to take the right decisions. Something could go wrong or the decision could change the personal life in a negative way or it could change your destiny in a bad way. Maybe some people with much wisdom could help, like @SammyG or @El_Capitan_Nemo , I would be very thankful.
Iâve thought long and hard about this question many times. I put a lot of time and careful thought into it. What I decided was to act on principle in those situations.
When a lot was at stake. When a decision would alter the course of my future definitely. I chose not the safe path. I chose my path based on what I would not be able to regret later.
You cannot guarantee your outcomes. Acting in good faith towards people can turn out very badly. But I cannot regret the choices I made. Not because of what the outcomes are. But because I know I made those decisions in congruence with my truest beliefs.
I was true to myself so I cannot regret what I have done. The world may reward you or punish you for such a decision. But I make the decision not based on what they will do. Because you cannot know what they will do.
All you can know is, many years from now, looking back, whether rewarded or punished, whether full or empty, your regret will be in whether or not you were true to yourself. Did you act on what you truly believed.
Some people think winning is everything. But winning is nothing. One second after you die the illusion of your winnings vanishes forever. And the illusion of your losses. But the reality of your character will be eternal.
Thank you for your answer! So basically, you would act according to your conscience? I heard from other spiritual teachings that for example there are soul teachings and that decisions should be took according to the conscience. Other say that it should be out of the intuition. In the bible, the conscience is very important. But there is still a fear that the outcome would be negative for oneâs live. Is it then also predetermined? Should it happened like that from a higher perspective? I mean, when there are people who can watch into the future, then how can this all be explained?
Then, a next question arises is: Should I also act from the mind by calculating everything?
I try to get these things all in agreement as much as possible. Conscience, intuition or gut feeling, common sense or a practical sense of how things will turn out. Iâm never looking to bring hardship or throw caution to the wind.
I calculate as much as I can with the mind. But the mind can only calculate so far. At some point you just really donât know how a thing will turn out until you do it. I mean, you use good sense or common sense as much as you can but then again, you donât know what will happen until it happens.
I take logic as far as it will go. To make sure Iâm not doing something plain stupid. But I wonât break with conscience. And I wonât ignore intuition. Intuition is a voice being filtered through us. So itâs not the pure voice of God as it were. It may be from a divine source but itâs coming through us before we hear it. So itâs not infallible. That gut feeling may be right on, or it may be misguided and coming from an unfounded fear or an unfounded hope. By unfounded I mean not very well founded. But we canât always plum the depths of our subconscious and heart in order to figure out everything that is going on in us.
Give it a shot. Do your best to discern what that gut feeling is really trying to tell you. But in the end, what I have is a decision that does not cross a line against my conscience, and that agrees with both intuition and logic as much as possible. Thatâs what I would call a decision based on principle.
Fears do not always come true. Neither do hopes always prove to be coming from reality.
Hmm, this question depends on where you are at in life. How well you are able to listen to your intuition. And what your morals are. But Iâll answer it from my personal perspective.
When observing a situation, I observe and allow my egos opinions on it to flow through. I listen to all the emotions dug deep within me about the situation. The opinions. The judgements. The desires in between of what I want and how this situation affects that. I just listen.
When you observe and listen enough, the voice stops talking. The emotions stop flowing. And all I am left with is a peaceful observer. Non judging observer. And that there is the higher self. From here, I can see things from a bigger picture, rather than from my own personal desires, opinions and whatnot. Often, what is right for us is the least thing weâd expect. Sometimes we need to fail. Sometimes we need to fall. Sometimes, our suffering is necessary. And from this non judging perspective, the answer becomes rather clear. What is the best decision I can make here that lead to the most balance within myself and the world around me. What is the middle ground.
Sometimes, that middle ground is to let someone have the upper hand. What is right to me is generally what leads to the most balance and happiness in me and others. Sometimes, struggling is the means to get there so I donât see negative things as happening as bad things the world has cursed me with.
So in that case⌠I tend to believe every decision is the right decision.
It all leads down the same path. The higher self does not judge what we do. It only observes. And if everything is divine, everything is of the source, then all my actions are as well. And you my friend, all your decisions are correct as well. So it is best not to judge them.
It is best to observe them as they are. Accept them as they are and accept they come from a divine place. Because what this perspective allows is for your mind to let go of being right or wrong. It allows for you to stop judging your actions as impure. It removes the resistance from within if you believe in your divinity. That resistance is what causes you to make âwrongâ decisions. Typically decisions that lead to things that your ego does not desire. Things that you reject. The divine perspective believes everything is right and in the flow of the all and through that perception, you do get the answer that leads to most desirable outcome for you.
I apologize if what I say is difficult to understand. It was for me for a long time too. Took me quite some time to get as I had so many opposing thoughts towards it. But it makes sense. When we resist certain thoughts, when we resist certain actions, when we resist our past⌠we resist divinity. We resist source/god. We resist our higher self. And that resistance tends to create discord within us that leads us to be confused with what the right or wrong decision to make in any situation.
Confusion begets more confusion. Acceptance, Non judgement and understanding allows you to see the bigger picture and see which decision you make can create a more positive ripple effect.
Ah, there is so much more I could say here. Itâs just⌠it would take me quite some time to explain it. And truly, this is something that is more understood through experience rather than words. I learned this years ago. Many years ago but it didnât click for me til I felt and saw it for myself. But who knows, for some people, just hearing it is enough and they get it right away and theyâre able to apply it to their life. (I wish I could do that haha. Always have had to learn everything the hard way)
Anyways, youâre on the right path. Especially if you are asking these questions
I donât want to join any chorus of voices telling you which way to live your life. Even without your post, I was pretty sure you have enough people doing that to you already.
I will, though, share with you some ideas that Iâve learned along my way to help you come to your choices. Take them, if they resonate; ignore them, if they donât.
The first idea that Iâd like to share with you is the importance of defining your terms. Iâve found that to be a critical skill when it comes to communicating with myself and with others, especially when it comes to terms referring to intangible thingsâthings you canât put in a physical wheelbarrow, as one teacher called them.
You see, you could talk about an intangible thing (ârightâ is the first example from your post) and mean one thing whereas those helpful others who are trying to guide you to success from their perspective could use that very same word yet mean something very different.
An example of this that I like to use is when you have two people in a relationship who both agree that âitâs very important that you respect me.â Sounds great, doesnât it?..until you ask a few more questions. Then you discover that Person A means âI want you to respect me by telling me the plain truthâ and Person B means âI want you to respect me by not hurting my feelings, even when that means not telling me your truth.â If we only look at their intangible words, it would appear that they have an agreement when they really have something else, you see?
Whatâs that got to do with your question? Iâm glad you asked.
Your post is peppered with such intangible words. And Iâm sure thatâs because weâre talking about âspiritualityâ (which, to many people, is all about the intangible) and probably because thatâs the way these well-meaning others have been talking to you. And thatâs fine, because almost everyone talks that way.
But my point is, as you start to clarify what you mean by these intangible words and compare your meanings with othersâ meanings of those same words, youâll begin to guide yourself on your own way.
Let me give you an example. In your post, you weigh listening to your conscience versus listening to your heart. And, for many people, thatâs a common comparison. But what is your âconscienceâ? I mean, beyond the fact you canât put it in a wheelbarrow. What is a âconscienceâ exactly?
Now, youâre going to have your own ideas (Good for you!) about that. To me, my âconscienceâ is that part of me which assesses whether Iâm living in accordance with (or divergence to) the decisions Iâve made about how I want to live my life. The ârightâ of my conscience tells me when Iâm deciding in accordance with my earlier decisions Iâve made about how I want to live my life. The âwrongâ of my conscience tells me when Iâm choosing in divergence with my earlier decisions that Iâve made about how I want to live my life. (I want to talk about ârightâ and âwrongâ some more in a moment.)
Using my definition (and itâs all right if you have a different one), in its purest form, there is no difference between living according to your conscience and living from your heart. (And I see no difference between living from your heart and from your Higher Self because, to me, the Higher Self is what most people mean when they talk about their âheart.â)
Notice I said âin its purest form.â Thatâs because a lot of us have been trained into decisions by people who have come to their different conclusions. And there, the âconscienceâ can get kind of muddied. Now, weâre playing according to someone elseâs âinvisible rule bookâ andâwell, have you noticed how many of those there are? And many of them donât seem to agree with one another. Itâs no wonder youâre confused!
I was lucky. During my childhood, I was intimately exposed to a lot of âinvisible rule booksâ and Iâm not just talking about religion. There were the âinvisible rule booksâ of the various families with whom I lived and my teachers and my list could go on and on. It took me a little while but eventually, I recognized that they all couldnât be accurate. And, for me, since there were a lot of them, when I came into my own power (because when weâre little we have to go along with loudest, scariest âinvisible rule bookâ in operation at that time, donât we?) I decided that I got to choose which one of these âinvisible rule booksâ I would follow.
That was a âriskyâ decision on my part because a lot of the people around me had an invested interest in my following their âinvisible rule booksâ and that invested interest had become a big piece of my âconscience.â My âriskyâ decision did lead me on an ongoing journey of self-awareness (so that I could better listen to my heart and my Higher Self) and self-discovery (so that I could decide who I wanted me to be). It also meant that I had to take responsibility for my definition of my ârightâ and âwrong,â sometimes to the displeasure of others.
One more thing before I address some of your other questions: Itâs been my experience that the word âshouldâ is a helpful word of warning. Often, when others âshouldâ on us, theyâre trying to get us to live according to their âinvisible rule book,â which may or maynât be aligned with my âheartâ or my Higher Self (which, to me, are the same things). And sometimes, we get in the habit of doing this same kind of âshouldâ to ourselves. (Hereâs a fun exercise for you to do: When you find yourself âshould-ingâ on yourself, listen to yourself carefully and ask yourself, âWhose voice am I hearing? Mine? Or someone elseâs?â)
I personally am not a big believer in destiny. I will say that every decision you make shapes your path. Thereâs a few famous movies and TV shows in my country which explore the impact of turning left rather than right at an intersection has on the characters.
And I donât say that to scare you. Itâs part of the adventure that each of us are on!
This is me quoting from my âinvisible rule bookâ (do feel free to ignore it, if you wish) but itâs been my experience that my heart (or my Higher Selfâbecause, to me, theyâre the same thing) does not guide me to negative things. If Iâm deciding negative things, thatâs one of my indicators that Iâm deciding from some other perspective than my heart or my Higher Self.
And that can happen. Itâs part of our learning process.
âRightâ is another one of those intangible words. I canât go to the market and buy me a pound of âright.â
So here, it would be helpful (and perhaps rewarding) for you to do some soul-searching about what you mean when you talk about âright.â
Thank you for sharing your insights and thank you for welcoming me on this forum! Thank your for clearing the definitions a bit. Now I understand, that the spiritual heart and the higher self and intuition are connected in some way.
