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Interesting, thanks for sharing !
What do you want to tell me ?
Shes wants to tell you that she’s just concerned but curious…
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I’m straight forward so it might sound cold and maybe agressive but I really don’t understand what she is thinking
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This is what happens when one is disconnected from Love, they get hijacked and follow norms… Repeal Love and become structural. Please don’t blame them as most often they’ve been manipulated from little to feel guilty, shameful, and do things that a being made out of love wouldn’t do… You see once you were a child all you knew was love, All your interactions were of love till the world around you said “NO” you were young so you couldn’t understand next thing you know you are saying “MY toy” disconnecting yourself even further while putting yourself at risk of being controlled by hate, fear, sexual desire etc.
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Actually, the really easy way is to just work on building your lower dan tien. Then you don’t have to think so much about all of that. It will naturally attract opposite sex energy. And, if you build your middle dantien as well, you can open up to love and compassion in a relationship.
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U just need to get more comfortable talking in person to women.
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If you read The Little Prince, you will notice very delicate secrets. For example during the actual taming, the fox wants the prince to avoid talking at all, because the fox believes “words are the source of misunderstandings.” Therefore, fox asks the little prince to meet him everyday. So everyday the prince sits a little closer to the fox in order to tame him. However one day fox reminds the little prince that "It would have been better to come back at the same hour…If, for example, you came at four o’clock in the afternoon, then at three o’clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites ". So if you want to have a good relation with someone you should spend time for that.
Also somewhere in this book a secret is revealed to you which is : "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Many years ago when I was younger, the boys cheated girls. Very few boys would have married their own girlfriends. Many of them would have taken the attention of girls and would have promised them to marry with them. But after the boys would have taken the girls’ virginity away they would have said “if those girls were pure, they would have never accepted to have sex with them!” (That’s why one of my best friends committed suicide. An unsuccessful suicide that caused her to become disabled) Also many families were so religious. Even there was a kind of competition among religious families in order to show who is more religious than whom! Girls like me who was neither religious nor non religious had no chance to marry their dream boys. Even the number of girls were much more than the boys, which this issue was a problem itself. At that time having a boyfriend was like a crime. (Now it’s not like that anymore.)
Even now that I myself have lost a part of my body for the disease that I had, it seems there’s another issue which makes a problem in my love life. Anyway, what is clear is that the person who loves me, will love me however I am. It doesn’t mean that for example “I” tell myself this is who I am, and I won’t change at all. No. If you like someone, there maybe a need that you change some aspects of yourself. But it is obvious that I can’t change some issues. (So, ask yourself what aspects you’d like to change/improve and what aspects you’re capable of changing them) .
Also mutual understanding is the basis of each relation. For having such a skill both parties should talk to each other, listen to each other, and hear the voice of each other. And there are 2 other points which are very important for making a long last relationship/friendship: 1) Let people have their own personal beliefs as long as their beliefs won’t affect the quality of your life. We are human beings not the bricks with the same shape and color which make a wall!
2) Accepting that there are always more to learn/discover. In our lives, we are more students than teachers. Even for taking the knives out of our chests, we need to learn how to do it on our own ways. This issue is not the same for all people.
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Well, that can be the way you filter
The people who don’t see you for who you are, perhaps they’re not the people you want to spend the most time with.
There’s also the component of how much effort you make with people. It takes two to get close.
Give it time. Spend time with people one on one. Do fun things. Have conversations. Have deeper conversations. You spend enough time, enough thoughtful time with a person - if they’re willing, they start to understand you.
But both of you have to be willing to put in the effort
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Shit, it was sent without finishing to write the answer so…
I’m not really confortable with receiving love, to be honest, not because people are not nice to me, I don’t know how to send love in return, not saying love is a trade, loving should be unconditional in my opinion, not a process of, someone gives something, someone receives it and must give in return.
English is not my mother tongue, so I might sound confusing sometimes, being hard to express my thoughts as clearly as wished.
The point of all of this wasn’t to shout at people who might already be suffering and acting normally in fact, as a response of sadness, it wasn’t to say something they’ve heard 50 times, “you don’t try hard enough”, it was an attempt to give maybe other keys to be happier. To have a different point of view to make them realize that, what is happening in life doesn’t always have anything to do with themselves as a person.
Concerning men, in the majority of cases, rejections from women have nothing to do with themselves personally, I’m quite confident about that. There is a lot of social conditioning that don’t benefit men at all. Education, justice system, porn, Only Fans, school, dating apps and social medias. Men are the greatest losers in all the equations.
Also women can work today, going to school, drive cars, they are independent, they don’t “need” men as much as before, they can give birth by themselves too now without a man at their sides.
Fear, inhibitions, ambition, friends, hobbies, they want to feel loved and bond with someone, it’s normal. I totally agree with all you’ve written, As a stoic, I do everything possible to not depend on things around me to be happy, loving myself is the most important even if the whole world hates me.
If people understood this as a frustrated message, it wasn’t, I’m happy ! Only wondering by curiosity why people are always acting differently with me.
I really think there is way more than that, we are literally living a change of era and society !
I think you got varying answers to your post because there’s not one central message. It starts with how you’re actually good with women but you’re not good with them, you want a deep connection but some use you as a trophy and men compete with you, and then it goes into a part where you’re telling men a “no” isn’t their fault…
All valid messages, but I think we don’t know which one to respond to
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Sorry, I’m not organized at all as you see 
Thanks for your advices !
Thank you for taking your time to share with us your though and knowledge, I appreciate that and read everything with great interest, yes indeed, men can do a lot of harms, my post can also be taken in the opposite way, for women that have a hard time finding a man that aren’t there just to have s*x with them and not seeing them as persons with personalities, a history, hobbies, ambition and everything that follows.
I too saw a lot of egoism from them that cheated in front of ME without any remorse and doing it, over and over again, one of the goal of this topic, is not to judge someone by their DNA and gender, but to judge people for who they are, so they can be a man or a woman it doesn’t matter. It’s not the typical “Man vs woman” post where we are arguing about how “women are evil”, but you know.
I have a very hard time with mutual understanding, it’s hard for me to trust people, even my family since I am a kid, I learnt to be silent because apparently, I was too curious, “thinking too much”, I was mocked because of being very empathic and sensible. Too “weird” for people, so I started inhibiting myself to be accepted from others. Many times, I cursed who I was. Today, I love who I am but it doesn’t change the dynamic with other people.
Once I open my mouth being myself, it’s as if they automatically understand, something is “wrong” . What exactly, I would like to know. So generally, I behave as I learnt to be the best in each situation.
Learning is so pleasing, there is always to learn from others indeed, each experience is a gold mine, from the young kid to the oldest person.
I have long terms friends, we can talk about everything, finance, bank, maths, physics, actuality, economy, doing a marathon together or climbing a mountain. I’m really lucky to have met them, they are categorized as “extravagant”, talking to them is easy but talking to others is a different story, they disappoint me and I’m disappointing them too , it’s as if by just a look we understand we have nothing to do together or just limit ourselves to do small talks.
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Maybe that’s okay.
I think it’s unrealistic to expect to get along amazingly with every person, to expect to understand everyone, or to expect everyone to understand us.
It’s a beautiful thought, but I think it adds unnecessary pain
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Today it’s way better than when I was a teenager, it’s chilling mode now, we can’t force friendship. Even if we don’t synergize with everyone, it doesn’t mean we can’t talk with respect or help each other !
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