“The childhood you never had, combined with the woman she could never become.”
„My name is Alice. And I remember everything.“ 
#YourHigherSelfHasAPlan
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“Time cannot diminish the power of steel.” – Religious Shrine (repairs all items), Diablo 1
Trauma cannot diminish the power of the heart.
#HeartOfStone
"Her will-power generates the decisive moment of spiritual awakening, in which we realize that true happiness cannot be found in the outer world but only within. Then she redirects our life as a mystic journey to the inner source, the heart of creation, and the Eternal flame.
Kali’s Shakti works to focus our energies back to the heart and the core of our being. Kali’s energy reverses the ordinary process of creation. Hers is the power that merges earth into water, water into fire, fire into air, air into ether, ether into mind, and mind into pure consciousness. She takes us back from the many to the One, reintegrating the world into our deepest Self and Being."
(Source)
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I was bored on the astral planes.
So then I incarnated.
To learn something.
Or to grow.
Or to find new inspiration and a new purpose.
The experience of adversity and overcoming challenges teaches a lot.
Still, one can get bored here in this world too, lol.
It is always about manifesting your life.
Does not matter which plane or game area or difficulty setting you are in.
Here, there, everywhere.
The goal is the same:
Grow consciousness. Increase free will. Proactively decide your next purpose. Manifest and experience it. Repeat.
The eternal equation.
The cycle of existence.
You either proactively create. Or you succumb to boredom and cope with it.
The Source is always in creation mode.
It is taking on this responsibility onto itself to always create and never allow boredom to win.
Once you realize that there is nothing else to do and that you are completely free, all that you will care about is simply proactive manifestation.
I am beginning to remember why I wanted to take on this challenge in the first place.
Doing a speedrun with the bonus of a huge personal growth boost.
It is not like there is anything really new about this game.
Just a repitition with advanced settings and a further polishing of the diamond.
Like when you loot run a game boss whose level and the dungeons he is in are much higher than your char level.
During the process you level up a lot (growth), find crazy loot (unique experiences) and make the experience of speedrunning through the level like a boss (not killing every monster and doing every quest along the path).
That’s what’s in it for me I guess.
For most others here on earth, I think most people actually love to play this game as intended by its creators. Level after level, not skipping anything, making every side quest, fully immersed in the experience of the game character.
If I try to wake them up and disclose things like the afterlife to them, a lot of them will come after me, because I am actually ruining their game plan. They WANT to do the “blind run” through the game in order to see what will happen and where it gets them and what they can learn from it.
I am like a game figure which they meet inside the game and then all of a sudden that game figure reveals to them some game cheat codes and short cuts. Their Higher Selves then need to intervene and asap blur the provided info in their perception, i.e. distract their attention again and trigger their ego so that the information I am providing them is instantly removed from their perception.
It’s okay.
I didn’t knew this before that many do not want to be awaken from their trance.
I was angry at their NPC like behavior.
I had the limiting belief that their decision to play slow somehow affects my own progress.
Which is not true at all lol.
It was a story I was telling to myself coming from a spiritual ego.
I will do my best to remember this next time when I am in venting mode.
Live and let live.
Play and let play.
#YouAreTheAnswer
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Is bliss and hedonism the ultimate end goal?
Doesn’t almost everything lead to the one ultimate end goal of indulging in bliss and hedonism?
Isn’t power by itself useless?
What are you going to use that power for?
To manifest love, sex and intimacy?
Otherwise, why and what for acquire that power in the first place?
Or if it is not the “power over something” but the “power to do something”, what are you going to manifest in the end?
Love, sex and intimacy?
What other end goal is there?
Become the world leader?
And then what?
To pass on laws and force people to do stuff?
Force people to love you and have sex with you?
Acquire infinite resources?
And then what?
Buy everything?
Or use those resources to help others to do the same?
And then indulge with them together?
Or become enlightened and omni-potent like the Source?
And then what?
Indulge in eternal bliss and oneness?
Or conceptually realizing/understanding everything?
And then what?
Indulge in the bliss of knowing it all?
Or use those realizations for what?
What are you going to do in the end when you have unlimited power, energy, time and resources?
Eat all the food in the world and listen to all the music there is and watch all the movies and play all the games?
And share of all this with others so that they can do the same and then indulge with the together in all the possible combinations until the end of days?
Isn’t that all bliss and hedonism in the end?
Isn’t Source exploring itself because it has the ultimate passion and lust for experiencing itself?
And through this, indulge in its own bliss and hedonism?
The lust for life.
#TheLustForLifeIsLifeItself
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Admiration
What is the spiritual ego?
And what is the true motivation behind it?
Maybe one of it is the secret desire for the admiration from other beings?
Why do we want to be admired by others?
Admiration seems to be a special type of recognition that is connected to the achievement of something.
So if this recognition is conditional, i.e. dependant on an achievement, then admiration itself cannot be a type of love, right?
But then also, admiration itself is not a sign of low-self esteem.
Of course, many humans want to be admired as a cope for lack of internal self-esteem.
However, people who fully love themselves still feel elevated and uplifted when they receive admiration.
This is because one can be of super high self-esteem and still find receiving admiration a pleasant experience.
This is just like receiving love: admiration can always be received in infinite amounts and still feel good.
So did our Higher Selves choose to play this difficult incarnational game because it also wanted to be admired by higher beings?
Don‘t we sometimes want to grow so that one day we become as the sun?
Aren’t we inspired to become something more than we are and then be recognized and admired by higher beings as a sign to ourself that „we‘ve made it!“…?
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If Source is indulging in bliss and hedonism… then all the Spiritual seriousness, one-upmanship is… ridiculous?
Does Source want us indulging in bliss and hedonism?
What does Source define as hedonism on the 3D on Earth?
Where is the line or the shift between/from hedonism to degeneracy in Source perspective?
Isn’t this the most “self”-indulgent thing possible in all of All things possible 
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Same reaction over here when I realized that creation is supposed to be fun 
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I experienced that realiseation a while ago.
But the way this was phrased about Source and Hedonism…this landed very differently…
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I would assume that the line between healthy bliss/hedonism and degeneracy is in whether that bliss/hedonism is expressed in an negentropic versus an entropic way.
Entropy is degeneracy per defnition. So hedonism expressed in an entropic way would act as a destructive force to the very thing one is supposed to indulge in, as well as as a destructive force to the consciousness that indulges in it itself.
Versus:
Negentropic indulgence is aiming at always creating a new “high”, a new level of order, a new highest expression of creation, a new highest expression of beauty, a new highest level of oneness with all that it and then being aware of this oneness with all of us together.
That’s why source is spreading and sharing love and awareness growth everywhere and with everything.
And that’s why we, as our true selves, love and want to love.
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Bliss & Hedonism, part 2
What is the difference between bliss from a drug and bliss from achieving enlightenment?
A drug is entropic.
Enlightenment is negentropic.
The drug in the longterm destroys the very same tool and base that is required to utilize the drug in the first place.
While bliss from enlightenment/oneness can be experienced infinitely without destroying its base.
In most case this base is the physical or energy body which is the general vehicle for making those blissfull experiences.
A drug is also focussed on a separated experience.
While enlightenment is focussed on an a expanding, uniting and enveloping experience.
The Source is always in bliss because it always expands and grows negentropically.
The problem is not with striving for bliss, hedonism and lust. The problem is with souls choosing entropic tools to achieve those.
Those tools are also not to be looked as “black and white” choices. A tool can be for example 90% negetropic and 10% entropic. What matters is the final cumulative vector of the tool in question.
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The last few days I was sleeping to this field on loop.
Also with the Arcturian Intercession tag under my pillow.
This night I had several realizations of the specific points in my current lifetime where I acquired certain traumas and emotional damages because I was raised in a traumatized low-consicousness separated-consciousness human society and not in a developed and collective-consciousness society like e.g. the Arcturian one.
I call them the “specific human society traumas”.
Most of these traumas do not exist in advanced alien civilizations and cannot happen there in the first place because of the whole structure and setup of these societies.
These realizations triggered an immense emotional release of hidden resentment at my own choice for incarnating here and resentment for humanity in general.
I guess, I wanted to first-hand experience the concepts of separation, isolation and spiritual loneliness at any cost…? 
Of course, the Arcturians comforted me right after this emotional release and I felt much at peace again.
Various internet sources say that so called “Starseeds are here to help humanity with Ascension” (whatever that means).
I don’t know whether this is true or not.
For now, I need to look even deeper into myself and find out more about my true self.
Assuming for a moment that what these internet sources are telling is the truth, would the real me be then be open to help humanity? And what are the real conditions under which I have chosen or would have chosen to help?
- Would the real me choose to help despite the cost of these traumas?
- Would the real me choose to help despite the cost of these traumas with them being fully healed again during the incarnation?
- Would the real me choose to help despite the cost of these traumas with them being fully healed again after the incarnation?
- Would the real me choose to help only without these traumas ever happening in the first place?
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Ihmiset kuin mantraa sitä toistelee
Entä jos sen voima niin vain vähenee
En sitä suurta sanaa tahtois kuluttaa
Enkä sanoo ääneen en ees kirjoittaa
Kuin karhuemo pentujaan ja luoja luomiaan
Niin minä sinua vaan
Vaik leipä loppuis vesikin yksi pysyis kuitenkin
Minä sinua vaan
Ja jos joku päivä sinä enää et
Sittenkin ois mulla selvät sävelet
Vaihtokauppaa käyvät toiset tunteillaan
Minä tiedän että sua ainiaan
Kuin karhuemo pentujaan ja luoja luomiaan
Niin minä sinua vaan
Vaik leipä loppuis vesikin yksi pysyis kuitenkin
Minä sinua vaan
Ja jos joskus syliin mustan maan
Mä sua joudun kantamaan
Niin minä sinua vaan
Kuin karhuemo pentujaan ja luoja luomiaan
Niin minä sinua vaan
Vaik leipä loppuis vesikin yksi pysyis kuitenkin
Minä sinua vaan
Ja jos joskus syliin mustan maan mä sua joudun kantamaan
Niin minä sinua vaan
Vaik leipä loppuis vesikin yksi pysyis kuitenkin
Minä sinua vaan
Reconnect to the Idea of Being Loved
I was reflecting about the essential human need to be loved.
A need that in most cases and for most people is never properly catered for while being incarnated here in the physical.
Now coming back to the idea of “Starseeds” incarnating on earth in order to help humanity, it is pretty clear that most of these alien souls would also be faced with this severe traumatic experience when incarnating on physical earth.
They would probably know in advance what harsh awaits them.
And additionally, coming from highly advanced alien societies or even being parts of collective-consciousness-societies, it would hit them even harder.
Now if I personally would be a Starseed that would have come to earth for the reason to help humanity and for that reason alone, I would 100% have chosen an incarnational setup with a lot of psychic skills so that I would never feel alone, or lost, or unloved, but that I would actually be always connected to my mission and through this connection feeling loved all the time, and therefore, could spend most of my time on earth actually helping humanity than healing my own incarnational traumas.
The fact that I did not incarnated with super high level psychic skills and for that reason have to go through the same trauma healing that most people on earth are going through, indicates that (Starseed or not), I did not came here to help humanity but to work on my own topics and my own development.
If the mission is “to help” and if it takes half of the incarnation to just remember this mission, then the mission cannot be “to just help”.
Then main objective of the mission must be something else.
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Maybe to understand/study love? To come to a place where it isn’t unconditional and we go through traumas ect and different levels of love.
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"You’ve got the words to change a nation
but you’re biting your tongue
You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence
afraid you’ll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song
So come on, come on
Come on, come on
You’ve got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed
Maybe we’re a little different
there’s no need to be ashamed
You’ve got the light to fight the shadows
so stop hiding it away
Come on, Come on
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream to
the words dry out
so put it in all of the papers,
I’m not afraid
they can read all about it
read all about it oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-ooooh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oooh
At night we’re waking up the neighbours
while we sing away the blues
making sure that we’re remembered yeah
cause we all matter too
if the truth has been forbidden
then we’re breaking all the rules
so come on, come on
come on, come on,
lets get the tv and the radio
to play our tune again
its 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events
there’s no need to be afraid
I will sing with you my friend
Come on, come on
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream to the words dry out
so put it in all of the papers,
i’m not afraid
they can read all about it
read all about it oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oooh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oooh
Yeah we’re all wonderful, wonderful people
so when did we all get so fearful?
Now we’re finally finding our voices
so take a chance, come help me sing this
Yeah we’re all wonderful, wonderful people
so when did we all get so fearful?
and now we’re finally finding our voices
just take a chance, come help me sing this
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
so put it in all of the papers,
i’m not afraid
they can read all about it
read all about it oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oh-oh
oh-oooh x2
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream to the words dry out
so put it in all of the papers,
i’m not afraid
they can read all about it
read all about it
oh."
What is “Karma”? – Part 2
Continuing my exploration of understanding what „Karma“ really is, this time I am looking at the positive side of „Karma“.
If, as per my understanding, „negative Karma“ is a kind of „subconscious open bill that is still to be paid off“ between souls, then „positive Karma“ is a kind of „subconscious voluntary voucher“ between souls.
If „Negative Karma“ equals Resentment, Anger, Guilt, Shame, Unforgiveness and Being Unforgiven towards a certain soul…
…then „Positive Karma“ equals Gratitude and Appreciation towards a certain soul.
Examples:
Negative “Karma”:
Person A steals from Person B.
It does not matter whether Person B consciously knows that Person A has stolen from them because Person B‘s subconscious mind still knows about the theft and so does Person‘s A subconscious mind also knows that a theft has been done.
Both person‘s subconscious minds are aware of the action that happened against Person B‘s free will. Through this mechanism, Person A can never act “as if nothing wrong was done”, because the subconscious minds are telepathic and communicate with each other all the time.
Because of this violation of free will, Person A‘s subconscious mind has now created an additional piece of cogntitive dissonance in itself to still remain in full functioning mode without stopping all processes.
This is similar to how a harddrive is fragmented into many partitions.
Every new cognitive dissonance creates a new partition.
The more such partitions are being split off in someone‘s subconscious mind because of such cognitive dissonances, the more energy is „reserved“ and „put temporarily aside“.
With the result that Person A has now less energy available and because of this has limited the maximum possible vibration that it can reach.
When Person A comes clean with Person B, AND is forgiven, both person‘s subconscious minds can obtain cognitive alignment again between each other and thus any previously stored energy that was reserved because of the cognitive dissonance can now be released. The „negative Karma“ has been „burned off“.
Positive “Karma”:
Person C creates an awesome product that helps a lot of people.
Person D is one of those who is using the product and is really grateful and thankful to Person C for creating the product.
The positive energy of gratefulness and appreciation that Person D has towards Person C, creates a kind of „voluntary energetic voucher“ that Person D subconsciously gifts to Person C.
If Person C should need any help with something, his/gers subconscious mind could „redeemer the voucher of positive energy" through any means that are available in the complex net of telepathic communication between all beings.
This is like the telepathic version of Person C simply directly asking Person D for help and Person D being happy to help Person C out of gratefulness and appreciation.
Person C who is receiving energies of gratitude and appreciation also experiences an additional push that helps Person C to raise his/hers vibration further.
Person C has created “positive Karma” for himself/herself by helping others AND those others sending Person C energies of gratitude and appreciation back.
-
Forgiving PLUS Being Forgiven = releasing negative energy that was previously stored as “negative Karma” (the cogntitive dissonance and the subconscious resentment between the parties)
-
Appreciating something = voluntarily giving to this something vibrationally uplifting energy
The big difference is that in order to release “negative Karma” the subconscious minds ON BOTH SIDES must be brought on board, while with “positive Karma” everyone always has the possibility, however tiny it may be, to consciously show appreciation and gratitude for something even when their subconscious minds are not on board with this.
Or in other words, “to be forgiven” one needs other’s agreement on all levels, while in order to show gratitude, no permission from anyone is ever needed.
So in a sense, regardless of how low someone sinks, they have always the choice to start redeeming themselves by showing gratitude and appreciation towards something – and through this mechanism slowly start raising their vibration back.
Which also means, that only that type of help that is being given to others out of free will PLUS is appreciated by others out of their free will, actually adds to the “positive Karma” of a person.
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@JAAJ !
This is exactly was I have been thinking/saddened about for past two hours 12 at midnight to 2 am … did my incarnation got wasted…. I won’t touch details here but what you have written here is exactly what I was thinking too. Probably the ‘real’ purpose of this incarnation was to experience this waste of extraordinary blessings and then grow from this… the plan wasn’t even to ‘use’ the blessing to help humanity. Possibly… possibly not
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