Life Advice

[rpd14]

Organized a bit more because it seem too much and too intense
Family Situation & Background
I’m facing a challenging situation with my family, particularly with my father, and I’m unsure how to move forward. I love my family, but I feel like they limit and control me. My father has been very manipulative, especially after my mother passed away. He’s treated me more like a partner than a daughter, which has been unsettling. He’s emotionally dependent on me and does everything to keep me close, even preventing me from moving out or traveling. I’m 23 years old, and I know it’s time for me to live my own life, but he tries to make me feel guilty about wanting to leave.

Misdiagnosis and Control
When I was 17, my father convinced doctors that I had bipolar disorder, even though I always knew something didn’t feel right about the diagnosis. Recently, a new doctor confirmed that I don’t have bipolar disorder, which was a huge relief, but also a painful realization. For years, my father controlled me with medication and reinforced the idea that I had a disorder. Now that the truth is out, I feel betrayed and confused. He still tries to keep control over me by making me doubt myself, my intuition, and my decisions.

Adoption and Secrets
I’m adopted from Ethiopia, and there are many unanswered questions about my adoption. I’ve tried to learn more about my origins, but my father has blocked every attempt. He even gets angry when I talk about visiting Ethiopia, calling the country dangerous and primitive. I believe there are secrets regarding my adoption, especially about my brother, who was with me in the orphanage but disappeared without explanation. When I took a DNA test, it revealed a mixed heritage (almost 50% East African and 50% from other regions), which added to my confusion. My father refuses to talk about it, and it feels like my entire history has been erased.

Psychic Reading and Intuition
Recently, I had a psychic reading, and it confirmed much of what I’ve been feeling. The psychic told me that I need to leave my current situation, that I’m a “new soul” with too much energy (which aligns with my ADHD diagnosis), and that I have healing and psychic abilities. She said I’m blocking myself because of fear, which resonates deeply. My father has always made me doubt my abilities and intuition, but deep down, I know I’m capable of much more. I feel like my purpose is greater than staying in this stagnant situation.

Manipulation and Emotional Dependency
My father is a chemist, and since I was young, he’s been obsessed with giving me pills for various issues he believed I had. He hit me, insulted me, and manipulated others into believing I was the problem. Now that I’m off the medication and seeing things clearly, I realize how much he’s been gaslighting me. Despite this, I still love him and believe he’s not a bad person—just deeply emotionally damaged. However, his needs and manipulation are holding me back from living my life and fulfilling my potential.

Need for Change
I know I need to move out of Spain and start a new chapter in my life, possibly in the U.S. or London. I have a lot of skills—I’ve completed a nursing assistant program, and I’m certified in reflexology and NLP—but I don’t trust my knowledge or abilities because of the way my father has controlled me. I’ve tried to confront him and get my documents back, but it’s been a constant battle.

Uncovering the Truth
There’s so much mystery around my adoption. My father refuses to let me visit Ethiopia, and when I tried to buy a ticket, he screamed at me. The orphanage even blocked access to records of my birth and adoption, making it feel like my identity has been erased. I remember having many siblings before the orphanage, but now it’s like those memories are being hidden or denied. I believe the truth will eventually come out, but I feel trapped and powerless to uncover it.

Seeking Guidance
I know I’m capable of so much more, but I feel stuck in this situation. I need guidance on how to break free and start living my life, fulfilling my purpose, and finding out the truth about my origins. If anyone can offer advice, guidance, or any resources, I would be incredibly grateful. I just want to understand the truth of my situation and move forward in a safe and effective way.

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[rpd14]

I know from my writing it may look like I am the unstable one. I’m sorry, I just needed to vent. And when I write so much it’s just gets confused. So , please forgive my grammar and my intensity in the text, just need advice that’s it. Thank you!

[anon8601412]

I’d start using shields.

My father is also very narcissist and he avoids me every time i use shields, which exposes his intentions.

[Nice2knowU]

Oh no, I had a long answer written but lost the connection in between… I’ll try to sum it up:

First of all I would say it sounds you’re quite intelligent, since you can reflect on these situations very well, and your intuition seems to be developed rather well as well. You are also able to empathise despite for obvious reasons it may be advisable not to.

Regarding the orphanage situation, it almost sounds like they’re trying to cover up a darker truth, but that’s only speculation.

Generational trauma was mentioned in a podcast that I’ve listened to with Wim Hof. In essence, it should not be your responsibility to resolve your father’s trauma. Because if everyone would just blame the next generation, where would we end?

In general, consider these:

• do you have a deity NFT for guidance?
• do you have a shielding field like black mirrored stone shield?
• are you using luck fields for opportunities opening up?

Also if you feel it’s getting difficult, use subconscious limits remover 3.0.

One field that could target all of these together is angelic intercession. You can try that, it’s free.

Hope that helps

[rpd14]

Hello. Thank you very much for your advices!
I don’t have any NfT for guidance but I do have the Tower of power? Do you think that will also help? As I have been advice I have too much energy and that I should transmute that energy for manifestation instead of wasting it.

• I don’t have any shielding? Which shielding do you recommend? What can shielding do? Can it protect my energy? I will love to be able not also to use my energy effectively but protect it.
• yes I am using luck fields. Especially on YouTube!
  Thank you again!

[rpd14]

thank you. That sounds great because usually people like this want you to feel bad and I just needed my own space! Which shield do you use?

[rpd14]

What I’m doing is getting my mind together. It’s advisable for me to change my mindset, since I am also an adult now and I react emotionally and also I want to be able to take accountability and responsibility for myself instead of expecting people to just change just because they said so. I have some sort of a lack mindset, so I am trying to change that into a more positive Mindset and a mindset of self sufficiency since I do ask unconsciously for my fathers approval because I unconsciously wish he would support my decisions but that will not happen so instead of blaming my whole life and shut down my own power to give others control it’s within my responsibility take my own contorl( that’s why the psychic said) which I resonated deeply, and it’s completely true, so I will use a shielding audio and also the mindset shift one on YouTube I am listening. There is a YouTuber called Slade which just uploaded a video I needed.

[Drift]

Try to get some internship, or erasmus type thing, but for the US or UK (there are other things besides erasmus, to go to Japan or wherever you want). Also get the support of someone in your family. Going alone to another country could be a bit too much. It’s better if someone has your back here.

In Spain…it’s impossible you don’t have papers. You need to have the “family book” or however it is called now. Those papers are needed for some things. You can’t have a DNI and all without it. Birth certificate or whatever it is called.

If your parents could never get it done, that may explain why they don’t want you to look for papers or into your past…it may be an odyssey to get them now. But it’s possible. The papers will be produced from thin air if they don’t find original ones.

You mention remembering things about your family or orphanage as if you weren’t supposed to. Do you have memory issues?

I guess I can’t empathize with not knowing my origins, but to me it looks like you should indeed move on with your life for now. Focus on your growth and not on finding your origins. You may even do just by getting your papers yourself.

But all that will be a difficult thing. You will need a lawyer and stuff to report the orphanage too. They can’t block you from getting your docs as an adult. So yeah…that’s an odyssey here.

You could try talking with them. Telling them all this. They can do things the easy way, or get the law involved and then they may actually get consequences for all they did. Tell them you won’t report them if they just tell you your origins.

But maybe that doesn’t work. It is possible you aren’t the only one, but one of many. And that orphanage, adoption agency and all parts involved already have a collective demand.

Once you’re out of there, revision, and self-love fields are your thing.

Use angelic, grace, divine/holy fields too.

[rpd14]

Hey,

I wanted to communicate more clearly about my situation, especially regarding my family, adoption, and the dynamic with my father.

My Adoption and Early Memories

When I was adopted, all my documents, including my passport, became Spanish. I remember my birth family in Ethiopia—my mother, aunts, and siblings—because I was in psychotherapy from the time I was around 6 years old. My adoptive family thought therapy would help me process the difficult adoption experience. The psychologist I saw was connected to the orphanage, and even though I didn’t speak the language at first, I tried to communicate with the therapist about my 5-6 siblings. My adoptive father also remembers me telling him about my biological family: my sister, my mom, and my aunt. I even told him my biological father had passed away, but the rest of my family was alive.

However, the orphanage in Ethiopia told my adoptive family that I didn’t “exist” in their records. They didn’t have any birth records for me, not even a name. They gave me an Italian-sounding name, which didn’t make sense to me, because my siblings all had traditional Ethiopian names. The orphanage just knew my last name. It became even more confusing when I arrived in Spain. After going to the hospital for vaccines, the doctor told my adoptive family that I was definitely born in a hospital, which should mean there were birth records, but the orphanage couldn’t find any. They didn’t know my birth day, month, or year, and it was like I didn’t exist.

My Brother and Orphanage Experience

I came to the orphanage with my brother, who was two years older than me. I remember one night, he told me he was going to escape, kissed me on the forehead, and gave me a picture of himself. He ran away with another boy, the brother of a girl who was also getting adopted. The next morning, I woke up with the picture he gave me, and I saved it. When the day of my adoption came, they took the picture of my brother from me and never gave it back.

Years later, I asked my adoptive father about my brother, and he went to the orphanage to ask. They told him my brother had been sent to a hospital because he was sick. I believed this for a long time. Then, I asked again, and they told my father they had lost contact with the hospital and couldn’t give us any information, not even the hospital’s name or address. It’s incredibly hard to find any information, especially since the name I was given doesn’t feel like mine—it’s Italian, and searching for it doesn’t help.

My Relationship with My Father

As for my adoptive father, he has control issues, and I know I need to let go of the resentment I have toward him. His need for control stems from personal trauma and family issues, but I know it’s not my responsibility to heal him. I wasn’t an easy child—I screamed, cried, and was emotionally dependent. He doesn’t communicate emotionally and loves stability, control, and authority, while I value freedom, travel, and independence. It’s not a healthy dynamic, but I don’t see him as a bad person. For my well-being, I know I need to forgive him and let go of the resentment that’s holding me back. I also used to unconsciously seek his approval for everything, but I’m learning to heal from that.

I believe that once I’m out on my own, and he sees that I’m okay, things will improve. He fears losing more people, and I understand that—he lost his brother as a teenager, his wife, and then he was left with just me. He’s never learned to heal from those losses, and his family was always about control and authority. By forgiving him, I’m releasing myself from the weight of resentment, which has made it so hard for me to move on.

Moving Forward

I know my father has no one, and I don’t have anyone either, so we’re unconsciously attached to each other, even if I don’t admit it. I can’t wait for him to heal, but I can work on healing my resentment through assertiveness, because screaming never helped. He likes control because he’s afraid of losing more people. His partner also thinks he might have autism, which adds more layers to the situation. I don’t think my father is involved in the strange details of my adoption, and I know it’s possible for a parent to dislike their child when the child is difficult.

I’m not saying my father is without fault—I know I need to move on, whether he likes it or not—but I still want to have a family when I move. My father helped me in a lot of situations, and he has a good heart, but he’s very controlling. If he has to lie or manipulate to keep me close, he’ll do it, but I understand where that comes from. I’ve also been difficult to deal with, and I don’t think he was prepared for parenthood, especially since it was my adoptive mother who really wanted to adopt. We’ve had a strange and difficult relationship, and that’s why I need to move on—but without resentment.

I realize that the way I’ve described my father might make him seem like a terrible person, but I’m confused and still processing everything. He’s not evil, and there’s a lot more to our dynamic than just the control issues. It’s like he’s a kid who adopted a kid, and if he really does have autism, there’s even more to consider. But I’ve come to accept that healing is my responsibility, not his. I trust that with time, I’ll figure out everything about my past, but for now, my focus is on healing, growing, and not holding onto resentment.

I hope that, over time, my family dynamic can improve. I believe that if I move out and give us both space, we can eventually have more mature conversations and heal.

[rpd14]

Even though. Thank you very much for your generous advice! I don’t usually like telling my life online but I felt safe here because people here alll we think have some sort of issues so it’s feels safe being in a community where we all trying to heal from something get better at something, like minded people and it’s great.

[anon8601412]

there are many for free.

grand jealousy reflecting shield.
angelic vibrations 2.0
spear of destiny.
excalibur.
repel negative energy 2.0
archangel michael.

then, exorcism is good for stuff in your aura.

[rpd14]

Thank you very much!!

[Nice2knowU]

@rpd14

Tower of power? Do you think that will also help

Yeah that will absolutely help.

@rpd14

Which shielding do you recommend? What can shielding do

Shielding you can use if you feel overwhelmed by outside energies. Some of my favourite shields are black mirror stone shield and shield of caliburn.

@rpd14

lack mindset,

Definitely use abundance mindset from the mind settings album (it’s also free). I’m trying to remember some other audios recently targeting this…resilience max? I’m not sure… I feel like I wrote about this somewhere

[whitefire]

@rpd14

I can’t wait for him to heal,

one can heal if one takes active steps for healing and it usually takes a long time and it improves gradually.

I see that your world is mostly your father, and your thoughts and focus are mostly fixed on him. Your “gravity point” is him, so you have to move that point into yourself, in order to manage to be independent and have a life of your own.

I think the easiest way to start this is by starting to work, if you’re not working right now. Working is a legitimate thing and your father can’t say no to that. And it also will need getting your papers or making them if they don’t exist. Stop talking about leaving and traveling and origins, those should be your personal thoughts and plans and not communicated to other people. Just say that you are 23 now and you really need to start working, like all people do, he will have to agree with that.

You can really take any job, and say it’s for experience with life etc, or take a job for which you’re qualified, with the diplomas you have, or take any job first and going to interviews in the meantime and change it to a better one.
You will continue to live home for a while, with your father, and be calm and say you’re content with your job, so your father cools down his anxiety.

After you get some salaries and have some money, (without talking about it), you can think again what attracts you the most and what do you want to do with your life now, that you have the means to change it.
As for moving out to a new location, with some people it’s better to move out in their absence, to avoid the screaming and blocks. Just saying.

Please have faith, as it is perfectly doable and it’s time for you to finally start living, and you come with skills and intelligence, nothing to fear about.

[whitefire]

and also, you can move your most important things first and the less important later. You could find, at the right moment, a place to live with another girl etc

[rpd14]

Thank you! You are absolutely right, I have a tendency to overexplain a lot of stuff when there may be no need to.
Also. About the job, I used to be a waitress but because It was hard for me to work and study at the same time I stoped it. But although it’s something I can practice doing multiple things at the same time. Thank you again

[whitefire]

You are so welcome

[rpd14]

I want to give an update: for a lot of years in my life I’ve search for a change but the change I was searching and thought I needed was not the changed I really needed. What I mean by that is, with sapien audios I thought having audios or listening to his audios on YouTube of good luck, or align your astrological placements etc will bring me or manifest me the changed I wanted immediately without really me doing anything. I feel like I need to make those changes and not someone or something delivering and solving my problems by magic force. I always avoided audios that were truly what I needed because apart from being beneficial for everyone their were not as appealing as the others (my ego) search for audios that thought will bring me immediate change by magic and I never had it because I can’t depend on stuff to change what I am avoiding to do by myself and can do. For ex: I heard all my life I really needed grounding, too much energy, everywhere , to fast peaced, everyone who cared about me (friends, people who know me deeply) all told me, look you are everywhere, you focus on too many things and end up doing nothing you want everything at the same time and you want everything to work out as fast as possible but don’t take any action. Your everywhere, you go with life by force you don’t flow with life, it almost seems like you are in absolute rush to complete everything like the world will end in 2 days. And they continued with, you need to ground, be present, nobody is rushing you and the world will not end tomorrow, be present, in the moment, words that I truly hated it because in my mind grounding doesn’t seem appealing: for someone young or older it is more appealing good luck than grounding, I feel like good luck gives the option that the things that happening are out of your control so you need divine help or something to make it go your way, I feel like it takes the responsibility out of your name and put it in external things, it gives the control to universe or a field and it’s more appealing because you don’t have to deal with the fact that it’s your responsibility and no magic will solve your true problems. Good luck I feel like it’s not permanent it’s a mindset, if you search for good luck audios what you really want is the mindset of a person who trusts the process, for my situation good luck will not solve everything, even if I have a good luck mindset, other things will come up telling me that no force or magic will solve everything for me grounding on the other hand is telling me( you are everywhere, too impatient, too anxious, you need to relax which I feel like subconsciously is making me responsible of this. I feel like it’s telling me I need to control or manage it to feel more at peace and live with intention not live because I am alive but live because I appreciate life. Grounding gives me the control to be able to turn off or turn on the things that bother me, even if it gives me the control, I am the one who has to hold the control and turn off and turn on whatever is bothering me. I don’t know if I’m making myself understandable. I learn that I am very ego driven so usually if my ego thinks something is really appealing knowing myself very well usually means no growth, no change, just comfort zone and someone will solve the issue, something. I hope I clear everything. If I want change or anyone who is in similar situation or can resonate with my messages and story, I will tell you, if you resonate with the messages and problems I am facing and faced, and you are also seeking radical change and as fast as possible maybe what the ego wants is what’s keeping you from wanting more while if the ego is scared of something it means you will grow and change more effectively. Thank you everyone

[rpd14]

For a final message I wanted to add something else: if you resonate with this maybe you are in the same situation as me: are you consistent with your playlist? Yes = means you know what you want and need and that’s good you want something you are consistent with it and then when you have what you want or you see after lots of time of listening that it didn’t work you keep with the same type of audio to get that change. No? You keep changing fields, playlist, topics? Means you don’t really know what you want, and it’s your ego telling you you need lots of things and you are not even listening to all of those stuff to keep you stuck wanting, I am learning more about myself this months, and I learned that what the ego really desires is not beneficial, will make you feel it’s a need , but if I know what ego is( I think it’s an identity formed since childhood and really doesn’t want change at all, will lie to you and make you feel like this is what you need, because if I see my experience my ego wants superficial, no change at all, it’s always made me stuck, no change. For ex: when I had social anxiety my ego didn’t want me to go out in crowds but that want really what I wanted? It made me feel staying at home was better( because that’s the identity I formed so going out brought change and anxiety, I was uncomfortable which is not appealing, i listen to audios to change that but I was not listening social anxiety audios at 12 years old, I thought manifesting situations to change without me going out of my house was more appealing. That’s what I meant. Ego doesn’t want change, wants comfortable and safety. So even if the ego makes you feel like your doing some change by listening some sort of audios it’s a bit of lie. Yes you are making effort by listening to this field, yes in that way it’s right but the lie is you are not listening to the field you really need but the field you want, a field that will make you feel comfortable. Social anxiety audios doesn’t seem appealing, manifest friends yes right? At least at 12 - 15 that’s what I thought. Or listening too attract opportunities sounds appealing right? But listening to a self love not that much? At least for people who are in similar situations like me not for people who are more aligned and they been in this journey longer.
Change is uncomfortable but will bring success and will probably kill the ego, so it wants protection while no change making you feel like you are getting somewhere, yes somewhere to mothing and it’s a loop because you will keep desiring more because you never really had what you need. Ego I feel like makes me wanting more without any change at all, just more and more, while the things that my ego is scared of is what really will make a radical change but who wants uncomfortable and instability when you can have what you really hated all your life because it’s comfortable and your used to it already so you can hate on it but staying in it is easier

[rpd14]

Also. Let’s say for fear of being seen or judgement= it’s more appealing a field to attract followers out of thin air, but not posting anything, and if you post and don’t get anyone engagement it’s easier to feel like a failure and delete for embarrassment than keep uploading because you enjoy it and go with the flow and keep consistency- one is a fast change not doing anything while the other involves change, confronting fears, and then success. I don’t want to sound like I changed overnight I didn’t. But I want a change, I will get that change but I am the one who needs control of the process of that change. Other people who are more in tune with their ego can trust it, not me. My ego lies and manipulates me I feel like I will not hate my ego as it’s part of me who just wants to protect me but overprotection is keeping you stuck. I really hate my father’s overprotection but I do it worse than him. If I can say it badly I will say your ego can be worse than a toxic ex; manipulate you, lie to you and make you feel like you are going forward and that you need it to live easily and make it believable enough so you stay with it for life while you know it’s bad for you it’s what your used to so it’s feels safed T’he ego benefits from your suffering while your stuck with it. Ego feels like you are married and want a divorce but you have kids together, a house and divorcing could mean loosing everything you knew while your partner is a narcissist who things you will not be able to move on or live comfortable without it. It says to you, you are useless without me, I have you everything you wanted and needed and now your telling me you want to abandon everything? When I. Reality narcissism is about control and power over your life, gashlighting into believing you need that person because you are safe with them, leaving a narcisist will break a pattern and it makes the Narcist uncomfortable because you are no longer giving your power to it, you are giving to yourself