Throughout my life, I had only 3 massive heartbreaks. First time was when my uncle died in elementary. He was literally like my dad. And then when Bianka died a couple of years ago. And now, my beloved cat Baby has died unexpectedly at 2. It happened 3 days ago and even right now… The pain hurts too much… I was not even gon post it here cuz I am very very resilient and felt I could do it myself. But this has got to be one of the worst heartbreaks I had ever had… I can’t strop thinkin bout her and I miss her so much… The tears just won’t stop… It goes away for a bit and I smile thinkin bout her… But I see her pics/videos and I bawl again… I just want it to be done already…She was just 2… She was not supposed to leave me like this… 
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When I lost my kitten (Noor) 4 months ago all of a sudden I lost my reasoning and ability to believe in anything. Seeing his pics and videos made me feel very guilty, as I wished I could have done something differently. The pain and grief was something I experienced for the first time, couldn’t sleep and function at work.
What helped me was just allowing myself to feel the grief, and play the forgiveness field while talking through every point you feel like you haven’t done enough.
after a animal’s death they stay with you until we physically die, light up a candle for them every year, or now if you want. Eventually you’ll feel your friend’s presence with enough time.
I soon adopted another two great buddies who needed the love also who are like my greatest family. I’m so sorry for your loss, I really do feel your pain as I’m rereading your post again.
I also remembered you chant your deities mantra right? Talk to them, and tell them all about your pain, they will listen to you and hug you very deeply with a better plan in mind for you. Sometimes there may not even be a plan but just a gratitude and love for the experience you had.
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Hang in there, bro. I’m so sorry for your loss. 
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Life is ongoing. What are you grieving? I think your beloved has given you the permission to give yourself a healing. The golden liquid light of love is filling every crevasse and bringing peace. Our little friends sneak in and open our hearts even more that we thought possible. But the little one still is in the 3rd dimension through your memory, your imagination. Remember the fun time and laugh. Remember the jewel that your friend encapsulated and realize what a blissful opportunity you had and have to celebrate that love.
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Sending Healing energy to soothe your heartbreak.
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Thanks alot ya’ll. 
I truly feel alot better. I cried alot today already. Also, please send healin to my dad too… He’s really sad as well
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@Rehan Thanks so much for sharing… I wanted to ask, do you think we are holdin our pets back from crossin over when we think of them in such a way? Like in sadness and sorrow? I know it’s like that with humans but what bout our animals? I also been chantin alot as well.
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Fuck… I can’t believe she’s gone.. Everything reminds of her. I sleep thinkin bout her and I wake up in the middle of the night thinkin "Damn, she’s really gone’'… She’s on my mind when I wake..
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There’s no right way to give an answer to this but from your friend’s eyes, you were their whole world, through this expression it’s more so your friend wants to be with you and watch over you and your closed ones regardless of what emotions you feel.
Don’t overthink, do what feels best for you. Talk to them and let them know how you are feeling. Allow yourself to feel sadness and sorrow, your love will never burden your friend, and rest assured, they are fulfilled and have more freedom from wherever they are at right now.
May you have the clarity, patience and a more loving heart ahead of you and thank you for taking care of your friend.
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