Please send me your healing energy

[This_Boy_Here]

I founded out Bianka, a girl I was closed to and involved with for awhile, had recently passed away. She was tryna hang wit me in November and I said I couldn’t, but I could have shifted my rigid schedule a bit. Now I am crying… I tried to hold it in but I can’t…

[zea]

I made a wish for it via Cosmic Triforce, for you and the girl and her family, for your highest good, in as much as your HS’ approve.
I wish you well – let it all out

[Jennyfire]

Hi @This_Boy_Here I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a massive hug and a ton of love.

[SilverZuzu]

Don’t hold it in, let it out (in a safe place.)

If u have Aphrodite NFT , call on and connect with her.
And/or Divine Mother in her forms.
Angelic intersession

Sorry for your loss.

[Equilibrium]

Sent. Hoping for your fast recovery.

[Rosechalice]

[This_Boy_Here]

Thanks everybody. The healing energy really worked. I cried for a good minute, and now I made up with her sis, my ex-best friend and apologized to her. I always told myself, “Once I get right with my schedule, Ima hang wit her again.” But whenever she would try to hang if she was in town, I would be always be ‘busy’. Time is not promised to anyone.

[Maoshan_Wanderer]

Sending now, Mr. Crystall Skull is on it!

[This_Boy_Here]

Thanks so much @Maoshan_Wanderer and especially @Rosechalice . If it had not been for her I would still be bawling. Much love guys. I honestly thought it would take longer, but she would not want me to be sad or feel guilty. So I will always remember the first day I met her and the last day I was with her…

[This_Boy_Here]

Ima get this off my chest, so you guys don’t make the same mistakes I did. It still hurts when I remember how she used to smile at me, or how she felt when we touched. Hearing her voice. Today was bittersweet. It started off so good. I decided to apologize to all the people from last year that I had lost my temper with. Start the new year with forgiveness. For the last couple of months, I was having a detachment issue. All my life, I have detached from people. I loved to detach, that’s if my hot temper didn’t get the best of me. But that was usually wit males. I bumped heads wit her sis (Becky) as I had posted like half a year ago, who used to be one if my besties that I had cut off out of 5 ex-besties last year. Anyways, Becky told me her sister was in love wit me, but I honestly had issues wit being in relationships for one. When I choose to be in a relationship, I want to give it my 1000%. I’m still tryna get my life together, you know? I was gone for a whole 15, so… But I really loved her energy too. And I was attracted to her so much physically, emotionally, and everything bout her. We were both animal lovers, and have been through the whole drugs thing, fucked up childhood, anger (But NEVER wit me. One time her sis made her mad she punched and broke the tv) and etc. Overcame it like I had… She was a fighter like me…She would always ask to spend time wit me after Becky finally gave me her ‘blessin’ to talk to her sister. Quickly after we started talkin, I remember one time I got into my ego wit her, and got fly wit her and cut her off. But then later her sister was tryna to explain to me that she didn’t mean it that way, and I started to think back at what she said, and realized I was in the wrong. Then I remember I had drove her back to her school one day, along wit an apology, and our energy was just like before, magnetic. But after she was back in school, when she was back in Houston, I was always ‘busy’. ", She’d be like “Hey, what are you doing? I wanna hang.” Or “Wanna go to Kamp with me?” etc etc. I would always be like “Naw, I can’t, I’m busy this week, maybe next time.” With work, and helpin out my fam, I had my hands full. Even quit goin out. But sometimes I felt I could have tweaked my schedule a bit, but I was like “Naw, Next time.” I’m really picky wit who I get in a relationship wit, but I always told myself, when me and Bianka are in a good place wit our lives (She was in Jobcorp, and I am still in school and doin moves for a moving center), I will make her my girl. She was perfect in every way, and that’s how much I wanted to be wit her. And she was like me, very picky wit guys and you never seen her wit dudes or anything. I was thinkin, she’s only 22, so there’s no rush right? Now she’s gone forever… And prolly thought I didn’t care about her at all. That’s the part that hurted so much. A couple of weeks before she died, she asked me when she was in Houston, “Hey, do you want to hang tonight?” And I was like, “Naw I can’t, I gotta study.” I been procrastinating in my studies for so long cuz my sleep been fucked up, and and I got bad adhd. Now she’s gone forever, and I never had a chance to treat her like a princess that she was… Anyways, I’m telling you guys this because, I want you to NEVER make the mistakes I made. 1, no matter the circumstances or age, NEVER take time for granted. NEVER assume that anything lasts forever. And 2, NEVER hold back your true feelings for someone, or put off anything if you truly feel that strongly positively for them. Affirm and let them know… I know I am all over the place and prolly left out some parts, but that is all I can say right now… Thanks everyone for your energy

[Starlight]

Sorry for your loss @This_Boy_Here . It’s important to feel what’s coming up so it can pass. Trust me.

These helped me in the past:
Loss and Grief Help - SM
Grief Help - PU
Project Mental Health NFT (if you have it) - SM
Forgiveness- PU
Divine Love - SM

[This_Boy_Here]

I wanted to say it yesterday, but it hurt too much for me to think bout it. I remember I went months witout even thinkin bout her until she hit me up first (Which was always) and now I think bout her first thing in the morning and even awakened from my sleep and first thing when I wake up. During the day… But thank you.

[Rosechalice]

@This_Boy_Here

And I was attracted to her so much physically, emotionally, and everything bout her.

that part really got me
I’m glad that you are getting closure
And most of all, I am happy that you are sharing your experiences with us.
Kudos on your opening heart and your bravery.

[This_Boy_Here]

Thanks Rosechalice… Haha, I am not sure I am getting closure yet, but I have been looping some audios for hours now. I kinda wished I never apologized to her sister, so i didn’t have to read “Bianka passed in December”…lol I had a dream that she was wit me for my birthday and got mixed up, but she hit me up in November… But then I would have wondered after awhile why she hadn’t hit me up, and you know… It still hurts alot. People that know me closely know I am resilient as they come, and I just couldn’t give a fuck. Well, now that has caused me so much pain for the first time… I would think am good and here I am crying again…

[Rosechalice]

Consider yourself very lucky!
You have been given the sacred opportunity to become more aware and to balance love in a way that you had not previously allowed yourself to do. I always felt the love you had for your friends, but this is new. Congratulations to you.

I always come back to this poem, but now I have come to see that the transmutative power of unconditional love raises us above seeing or feeling it as pain. It becomes as bliss only.

On Love
Kahlil Gibran

Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself
He threshes you to make your naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

The rest of it lol

But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

 When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
 And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

 Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
 But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
 To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
 To know the pain of too much tenderness.
 To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
 And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
 To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
 To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
 To return home at eventide with gratitude;
 And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

[Rosechalice]

I guess I also see this as the initiation of love in 3D. If we do not open ourselves to Love as Beingness we are sometimes trapped into the limited understanding. But we come upon these initiations as we require them, each one to heal us more of our short-sightedness. Love will find the parts of us that we are withholding!

[and_tg]

Hey man, I’m sorry for you loss

A field that has helped me greatly is The Comfort of Those Who have Passed, try it out if you feel okay with it, I really recommend it