Don’t fully understand what you wrote there but I’ll take a guess. For one, you aren’t properly channeling energy through your microcosmic orbit and into your solar plexus. If you don’t move your energy there then you will get stuck with a lot of sexual energy all around your body.
Kegeling is important as it helps you do this more efficiently.
Also, it’s very important to maintain your focus in your head during stimulation. If you focus on your genitals, then you will get ejaculatory urges that bring up sperm to your genital area. By that point, unless you kegelz that energy will be stuck there.
The goal is to feel the urge to orgasm in the crown (head) and release in the head so you feel the orgasm in the body and not in the genitals. Orgasm in the genitals means ejaculation or if ypu manage to not ejaculate, the energy will get stuck there and you are not going to be able to sleep.
Also… no porn. Porn will definitely mess with your flow and make it hard for you to do these exercises properly. Images are fine but images of the lone people, stimulating themselves, ext is fine.
There are also a few audios that were shared here for transmuting your sexual energy so you can use those as well.