I don’t know if anyone of you have experienced this. But when I was in my early 20’s I went through a horrible bout of pure ocd. I had many obsessions, but the one that affected my life the most was relationship ocd. I ruined my relationship with my first love due to this. I waited like 6 years to date again because I was so traumatized. Now I finally met someone and was on cloud 9 all weekend. But today I woke up and have the intrusive thoughts about him and numbness to my feelings just like I did with my first love. I’m worried that I’m not going to be able to be in a relationship due to this. This guys is perfect and I can’t feel the joy or happiness cause these intrusive thoughts have put me in a state of panic. Any advice, or audio suggestions?
The devil card represents release. This can help especially with traumatic events or inner shadows that come out haunting you. When I’m attached too much to something. Or having intrusive thought. I always listen to this and it gets better after couple days of looping.
Maybe in your case. You have to listen to it for months with The Internal Alchemical Crucible - YouTube
This audio. To burn out the negativity that come out to the surface
Be slightly vulnerable with him and tell him this but just a little because it sounds like you haven’t been dating him long. It will break the spell.
The new Silent Mind NFT smart tag mandala field should help along with the above suggestions.
Thank you so much!!
yes we aren’t dating officially, just met him haha. But I felt a connection that I haven’t felt since my first love. That’s why I was so excited. He seems like everything I’ve been trying to manifest. But now I feel so numb and want to reject him, even though I think it’s the OCD thoughts and not really how I feel. I just want the intrusive thoughts to stop, so I can feel love and happiness with another person again. Kind of confusing, I know.
Thank you!!
Not really. Not at all.
You may have disorganized/fearful avoidant attachment style. In short, people with this attachment style fears intimacy while still craving for relationships. You can check some of the signs here.
When you feel the way you do, you’re too attached, and your subconscious is trying to get you to reject him to relieve the suffering of too much attachment, putting him on a pedestal.
Try to find a way to make him less important.
Think of some ways you could see him being annoying maybe.
The cure for this is commitment. Since you are starting out, all you can do is keep getting to know him (you could commit to that, but maybe it scares him xD). That’s when “falling in love” happens, so the numbness/any other defense mechanism would fall away.
For fields, I’d use the devil reversed or pure moonlight along with radical emotional change.
I’d also give a listen to childlike wonder and outlook retrainer. It would be like a band-aid but it could make a quick shift.
Besides fields, a certain exercise comes to mind. It consists of imagining the outcomes of your decisions, feeling each one for 30 seconds and repeating until clarity is achieved. I will give the same example that was given to me, as I don’t know how to apply it to your situation xD.
So, context is a woman is tired of her sick husband way of treating her (of course, it was good until he got some serious illness and he kept getting bitter). She doesn’t want to leave him and feel guilty once he dies. She doesn’t want to stay. So she went through 5 outcomes:
- She stays and he gets better.
- She stays and he gets worse.
- She leaves and he gets better.
- She leaves and he gets worse.
- He dies.
(Credit to Frederick Dodson for being the genius behind this exercise, in case anyone wants to know, that doesn’t already).
It took her about 8 rounds of this to achieve clarity. So give yourself some time to feel each scenario you choose.
My apologies if this is out of place, but it just popped in my mind and I’m posting just in case it was intuition (I’m feeling it isn’t, but I’m leaving it here…I didn’t do 8 rounds of this xD).
This goes without saying, but all this is my opinion. I wrote this way for the sake of brevity.
I’m in a similar place as for attachment style, insecurities and OCD (and I may be giving it to my partner too u.u), and I don’t think we can attach this to one event, trait, or what have you.
I think I have to work on my whole self to overcome all this stuff. But I have a great relationship so that’s why I said commitment is the cure. I can work out all my rough edges with someone I trust. Being betrayed all the time probably wouldn’t help.
Good luck, and don’t worry too much about missed/missing opportunities, you can always make the best of what you have in the present and the future is filled with possibilities.