Several people recently confessed to me that they have a crush on me. It makes me feel awkward and ashamed, as if I’m walking around giving them hope or something, when in reality I’m emotionally unavailable.
How can I get over the feeling of shame and guilt?
Thanks.
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Might need some more information if you wouldnt mind.
Have you done anything in particular to let these people think you’d be interested in them, purposely?
(Even if you did, I don’t think that’s a reason for shame or guilt, just to be clear)
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Find a different, better-feeling story about what’s going on.
No, their confession doesn’t make you feel awkward and ashamed. It’s your stories about these situations, what they mean and what you are “doing” that make you feel awkward and ashamed. When you change those stories, you’ll change how you feel.
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No, I haven’t done anything in particular. I only chatted to some of them, small talk.
I think it has to do something with the way I look. I think it makes me feel like an object…
I didn’t really do anything though…
How can I change those ‘stories’? Do you think it’s a limiting belief or something?
The fact that they like me feels like a responsibility of sort … Like, how can I exist freely when they are always there, looking at me? I don’t know. It’s just uncomfortable.
Well I think you are aware that you aren’t an object, even if sometimes you may feel somehow objectified - but you always have the right to like who you like, period. No apologies.
Just because someone has a crush on you doesn’t mean you owe them anything. It’s nice that they told you that, might be good to let them down easy and tell them it isnt about them which it sounds like it truly isn’t.
You may see this coming, as you’re pretty self aware, but self love would be where I’d explore if I were you. Some way to ground yourself, in yourself. I would say confidence is what you need, but it’s a special kind of confidence, the kind that says “I’m not leaving ME for YOU.” In other words, failing to be true to yourself just to please someone.
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Thank you Jen. It’s really helpful. It means a lot.
I wish I had some awesome NFT or a premium field for self-love so I could just finally accept myself lol.
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Well you might have seen it but this one just dropped not too long ago
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That’s in my playlist,might just need more time 
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Other ideas:
Blessings of Aphrodite
Pietersite
Spear of Destiny (that one I just love for pretty much any purpose.)
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Shame/guilt is associated with the sacral chakra
Or the Chakra audio from sapien (gumroad).
Maitreya has some free for sacral / guilt / shame on her youtube as well
often people like to project their insecurities on others, so
and maybe the soul core restoration.
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There you go! That’s part of your story about this. Good for you! (I say “part” because, behind this thought, you have a whole variety of reasons to justify and explain this this thought. All those reasons are also “parts” of your story.)
You’re the one thinking your thoughts. No one else can think your thoughts for you,.only you. So, you have the full freedom, right and ability to think different thoughts about this situation.
With that in mind, you can use your creativity to find a different story about this which still seems true to yet which feels better. Play around with it a little. Have fun with it.
As you play with it, you’ll notice that some of the stories you come with feel better than that old one you had once thought about this situation. As you notice how these stories all feel a little different, you’ll be showing yourself that it’s not “them” or what they’re doing which “makes me feel” bad. It’s the stories that you tell yourself about what them and what they are doing which “make you feel” bad. You are making yourself feel bad. And I don’t say this to blame you, not at all. I’m saying this to give you back your power, because you can’t do anything about what all the them’s in the world are doing, but you CAN do a lot more about what you’re doing to yourself,.with your thoughts and stories.
For example,
I know this is what you had been used to thinking about this situation, but what else could it be instead? What’s everything that’s not that responsibility?
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Now. NOW I finally understand what does it mean. It finally clicked. Boom, all guilt gone??? It’s like I weigh less now. That’s crazy. It never happened to me so fiercely and quickly lol. Wow. Thank you so much my friend, WellBeing 🥹❤️
Excellent!
You can use your new skill with every unwanted emotion that you feel and with any topic. And like any other skill, the more you practice it, the better you’ll get at it.
Have fun!
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An evolutionary perspective on shame:
