Sub/conscious yearning for that first innocent love

[shubhamthakur7890]

Hey fam, hope you all are in good health.

So it’s been 4 years since my break up with my partner of 7 years, it was lovely and beautiful despite all the normal difficulties. It was the first relationship and partner through which i understood and experienced unconditional love to the best a human is capable. Unfortunately, due to external circumstances, mainly her super toxic sister and abusive and psychotic brother in law, we are in separation physically.

Since then, march of 2020, life was in shambles, family has also experienced difficulties in matters of finance, relationships and health. I had to give up my dream that i was working on since i was 13. I’ve finally found peace, thanks to cap and imaginarium divine. I’m at peace with where my life is and have no worries about the future.
Except that, i an deeply yearning for that innocent first love feeling. It’s so rooted that since breakup i’ve been having these dreams of my first ever crush, it’s been four years since separation and yet almost every week i’m having these dreams about my first crush in 5th grade. It puzzled me alot cuz i do not have feelings for the person but eventually figured it out.

I’m stuck in this fight or flight mode since the event, i was worried a lot about everything but now im much better, but face this thought “ whats gonna happen now” due to the the most hardest 4 years of my life.
Yes i do miss her, we are occasionally in contact asking about each other’s well being.

Tbh i don’t even know what im asking for here. Idk how to fulfill this need of mine. Upon that my love language is touch and words of affirmation. When we were together i could just hug her, cuddle with her, lay my head in her lap and she would too. I do feel nervous energy in heart and solar plexus.
I have made huge progress from where i started, not in the material world but in myself. Before i would get basically paralysed mentally and physically and would just lay there trembling.

Idk how to tackle the above. How to fulfill that need of mine. I’ve tried everything, from divine love to VOC to many other high calibre audios. The new gratitude for blessings and imaginarium divine are godsend. i cannot stress how much imaginarium divine has helped, when even specialised fields could not help.

[Nice2knowU]

Human intimacy is something natural and beautiful. Right from when we are born. A baby is very honest when it cries, there are only a few reasons. One of them is that it seeks intimacy.

Not having intimacy can lead to a disconnected feeling. Remember the difficult covid times when extreme measures were introduced. “Social distancing” is probably one of the most unnatural things one could conceive of. And obviously very hard on mental and emotional well-being.

It often seems as we can simply become more stoic, or more hardcore mindset, or simply push through. It’s like a brute force method - it works, but it is arduous. A hug, as simple as it is, can dissolve this kind of tension. Plus it makes you even more motivated and determined.

A hug with an intimate partner, especially if you’re intimate beyond the physical level, is such an empowering experience and clearly beneficial for either side. A true win-win. This applies to good friends as well.

@shubhamthakur7890

Tbh i don’t even know what im asking for here. Idk how to fulfill this need of mine

I would be happy if you could find someone with whom you can have such moments of all-encompassing intimacy with.

Meanwhile I can recommend this NFT:

The Goddess and the Jade Rabbit

Chang’e and the Jade Rabbit A Sapien Medicine NFT Written by Nice2knowU [1] Once upon a time, in the mystical realm of ancient China, there lived a beautiful and kind-hearted woman named Chang’e. She was married to a skilled archer named Hou Yi, who was famous for his bravery and prowess with a bow and arrow. [5] In those days, the Earth was plagued by ten suns that scorched the land and made life unbearable for its inhabitants. Seeing the suffering of the people, Hou Yi took it u…

However it might not be so easy to obtain.

[shubhamthakur7890]

@Nice2knowU

I would be happy if you could find someone with whom you can have such moments of all-encompassing intimacy with.

I wish so too but for now, i don’t have anyone. I feel loved by my family and am grateful for it but i feel the need for a partner, tbh her. We could just melt into each other’s arms and all the pains and burdens would dissolve, no speaking, no nothing. Just a hug. Tremendous healing power.

@Nice2knowU

Meanwhile I can recommend this NFT:

Can’t get anything for the moment. I dont have an income source.

[Replay]

Revision of Childhood could help, as it might reduce your sense that your go forward happiness depends on this relationship rekindling or that its dissolution was an unrecoverable tragedy.

I think extreme self-confidence field and a project to occupy you are what need most. Maybe the salt cleanse and mana fields with a beach portal thrown in. Nothing to contemplative. The wolf or whale experience sound right.

[shubhamthakur7890]

@Replay

Revision of Childhood could help,

It did but only to an extent.

@Replay

extreme self-confidence field and a project to occupy you are what need most.

I already have both extreme self confidence as well as knight warrior in. Lately I’m not able to feel the effects of most fields.
Yes i do need to work in something but unfortunately family’s finances are tight so i dont have enough resources to work on something. So for the time being I’m trying to get my mental and physical health right.

@Replay

your go forward happiness depends on this relationship rekindling or that its dissolution was an unrecoverable tragedy.

I dont really have anything along these lines. Would i like to be with her again? Sure. But I’ll be okay if it doesn’t happen. I’m not heartbroken anymore. It’s just the need to have someone by my side like she was cuz me and fam are going through some really tough times since quite a long. It’s difficult for me to explain what i mean and am feeling tbh.

@Replay

The wolf or whale experience sound right.

I’ll check them out but i do think they are a temporary solution if they help that is.

[Replay]

All very loopable.

Anxiety Relief (Active Hypnosis and Field)

Grief Loss Loneliness (Energetically Programmed Audio)

Emotional Release

[Mouldytea]

@shubhamthakur7890

it but i feel the need for a partner, tbh her. W

Self love stack has personally helped me loads with the feeling of needing a partner, and it no longer effects

[Drift]

May be off the mark, but the litany against loneliness and some deity field could help. Or the intercession or mass meditation fields. That calls for an intercession too.

At the very least, if it doesn’t help with your issues, litany against loneliness and love fields (attract your soul tribe maybe) will protect you from other issues (loneliness/aloneness turns into neediness, which turns into opportunistic people targeting you).

You could try the galaxy infusions too. They gave me an interesting experience once, regarding this. It wasn’t nice though…imaginarium divine may be better.

[Vincit]

Attract Love NFT Special Edition? (before the shop gets closed)

[shubhamthakur7890]

I’ve been heavy on self love for a long time bro, ain’t helpin

[shubhamthakur7890]

@Drift

litany against loneliness

Hmm I’ll try this one.

@Drift

some deity field could help. Or the intercession or mass meditation fields.

I’m thinking of the new mass meditation audio.

@Drift

love fields (attract your soul tribe maybe)

I already have live fields in my stack but not soul tribe, i’ll add this one, thank you!

I’m also already using imaginarium divine, life changing field

[shubhamthakur7890]

I’ll check it out but i dont currently have the budget, thank you nonetheless.

[Rosechalice]

The love you experienced with an apparent other is just the mirroring of the love that is inside you, as it always has been (it’s everywhere actually). If your focus is loss then loss is mirroring. Return your focus to having/being rather than wanting. Celebrate the love which cannot be won or lost. Just like the vibe of “self-love” sometimes appears like it can be gained, but as long as the focus is on “I have to get it back”, the sense of not having will persist. You ARE love - how can you be without it?

[shubhamthakur7890]

@Rosechalice

Return your focus to having/being rather than wanting.

How do i do that?

@Rosechalice

You ARE love - how can you be without it?

[Rosechalice]

@Rosechalice

Return your focus to having/being rather than wanting

It’s like the fish trying to find the ocean. Celebrate what you have, are, and have always had. Then when you have filled your consciousness with that realization, shine it out to everyone and everything. Become a beacon of love!