(I recorded my text in case someone would prefer to listen than read. Just testing this out)
The shifted male & female dynamic of the 21st century is one of the biggest debates of our time. We have many men and women venting out their frustrations with each other on social media these days. I’ve caught onto quite a bit of it and have even seen some of it trickle onto this forum. So let’s all have a fun and mature discussion about it!
I’ll share my perspective on it. But really, what I’m mostly going to try to do is summarize both sides of the issue. I may get some of it wrong, especially the women’s side because well… I’m not a woman lol. This is all just to open up discussion. I don’t know more about this topic than anyone else and am looking to learn more from you all as well.
I think it’s important to remember that women have only gotten equal (mostly) rights in many parts of the world in the past 50 years. And there are still many disparities between male and females in the workplace and so forth that haven’t fully changed yet. Before women had rights, men had all the say. Complete and total dominance over women to the extent that they were considered mens property in most of the world.
Men worked and women tended the house. Because of this, it was much easier for men to find women to marry. Women would seek men that could provide for her and her future children and there were plenty of those around. Women chose from the men in their little towns and would make do with what was there. Beyond that, many marriages were settled by parents anyways. So of course, most women had their preferences but I’d imagine they couldn’t be so picky given the circumstances and few choices they had in their environment.
This was the norm for thousands of years to the extent that these expectations of women became ingrained in mens DNA over time. That is why some men today can’t accept this shift in society. Women working and having a say just doesn’t seem right or natural to them. Some women also can’t accept this female/male dynamic shift and want to be housewives and be provided for. But these people seem to be the minority and humans collective consciousness is slowly shifting into a new age of male and female equality.
Now with these changes, something troubling has happened. There are much less men finding a women and having sex in this day and age. And a great number of these men are finding brotherhood in echo chambers in the internet where they share their frustrations with women of today. Or complain about alphas or try to be an alpha or sigma male. How did it get to this point? Well, women have much higher standards than they had back then because now they have many choices to choose from. Working, the internet, better transportation and so on has opened up a world of choices that women did not have before. So of course many women will be looking for more of what they want out of a man rather than just settling for whoever gives them the time of day.
Because they did settle and put up with men they were not compatible with. Marriage was taken very seriously back in the day and a woman stood with her stubborn man no matter the cheating or abuse he’d put her through. But as people have drifted off religion, divorce has become a choice that many women and men take up to 50% of the time throughout the world. And women know this risk and would rather be picky and choose a man wisely.
And for many men, standards seem to not have changed too much. Many men want an attractive looking woman but now, one that looks like the kind of attractive we see in movies, tv shows or porn. But the women who usually meet these beauty standards don’t fall for just any guy. They have tons of choices and they go after the strongest, most attractive and most successful men. That makes many guys feel frustrated that all the attractive looking women are only going for these high value men which are few and far in between.
And a good number of these guys are frustrated with what they believe to be more average looking women, are also only seeking out these high value men. Some of these more average women don’t have a lot going in their lives even and seem to be looking for the perfect guy and not paying any mind to the more average kind of men. They’re also frustrated with how some of the same women also want equal say in a relationship while the man is to pay and provide for everything. In general, they feel the playing field is unfair and like they are left out.
That being said, I do think many of these guys have become too complacent with the internet, video games and the distractions of today. Before internet and video games, you would have to go talk to women and get better at talking to them. I think many guys don’t even know how to talk to a woman anymore and truly, being able to verbally/emotionally connect with a woman will take you much farther than looks would. In person, you have a much better chance of making a great impression on any woman. Naturally, women will have much higher standards when looking at dating profiles because they are comparing you to everyone else. I can understand the frustration of online dating because men definitely get rejected quite a lot online. It’s a numbers game but despite the difficulty, a lot of guys just aren’t willing to put in the work to make themselves stand out. Any man, despite his looks, can become high value and therefore attractive to women.
I think this is one of the most interesting differences in the male and female dynamic. Women could get attracted to a man despite his looks if he is successful in some sort of way or has a great personality. Men typically won’t get attracted to a woman because of her success in some field or even great personality, if they don’t look sexy. I think it will take time but I do believe this will change as more women find success in this day and age. There are men out there that want to be house husbands to be provided for. I’m telling you… the dynamic has changed so much that there are so many unique variations of male/female relationships out there. But the old mentality is having so much trouble adapting to the new. Hence why there are so many lonely men out there these days. I wonder if it’s the same with women? I don’t know too much about that side of things. So enlighten me. I’m curious.
I have so much more I want to say. Such as the difficulties in women and mens communication with eachother (for example: what men see as women nagging/women see as constructive criticism. It’s typically things we need to hear but I also don’t think women realize they deliver their criticism in a condescending tone)… But if I keep going, I’ll never stop lol. Got to get this thread off the ground.
So let me start by asking you all questions
What are your thoughts on the male and female dynamic today?
What are some of the frustrations men have with women today?
What are some of the frustrations women have with men today?
What is the ideal man to you?
What is the ideal woman to you?
How are you doing in the dating scene these days? How was that been?
In what ways, you do you clash with your significant other? How do you find the most harmony with your significant other?
Do you you think the proportion of lonely people can be balanced in this day and age? If so, how?
You don’t have to answer all these. Just the questions you’re more inclined to answer.
Also, don’t mind the generalizations I made. I know all men and women are not like the things I said. I’m speaking of a subset of women and men. So forgive me if you thought I misrepresented your gender