I am starting to understand that I feel too much … way too much than ‘normal’ people. Over the decades I have so many accumulated ‘unresolved’ emotions that they are spilling all over. My cup it full. I am overwhelmed with emotions. If I have to think about the number of emotions I am simultaneously dealing with, at this hour … it must be a hundred intense emotions. Unfortunately most of them are negative. Some are positive too but even an emotion as positive as pure love bring with it emotions of guilt and regret etc. Everywhere I look in my life 360 degrees, past present and future … I can ‘feeeeeel’… intense emotions about so many things and if I try to give names to those feelings it would be victimised, undervalued, regret, remorse, hurt, anxious, sorrowful, lost cause, unfair and so on. But they aren’t for one thing … they are there for several several areas of my life/ experiences in my life. Some emotions are nice too but then they are not as loud as the negative ones. I wish they were louder. Even though my blessings are not any less than my challenges and yet.
So obviously my vibrations are lower but how can I raise it when I am dealing with so many of them that it overwhelms me.
I also feel that I feel much much more intensely about everything … you can call me an hypersentive empath. It’s hard for me to let go and I need to do a lot of processing because of high intensity of emotions. This takes a lot of my energy and time.
I am feeling tired and overwhelmed… although it’s great to feel intensely when the emotions are positive ones but it’s a two way sword … to feel negative emotions intensely is no joke.
I am just expressing myself but if you have anything to say or offer a perspective then I am listening. Thank you.
Please know that I already wrote that I am hypersensitive so no use repeating that I am that … it feels judgemental when this is how I was made and it’s not my fault.
(Just saying that because I have heard this from people all my life that I am too sensitive whenever I expressed my unhappy emotions … it just feels more hurting to hear that when you are already hurt… ironically no one complains when my positive emotions are too much !)
