In my first post, many folks were kind enough to provide a handful of audios, as well as some thought-provoking questions. @WellBeing asked “what are you wanting from this” and I think I have a better answer.
I have struggled with my relation to sex for quite some time. There have been stretches of life, I have craved or fantasized about it far too much. I’m someone who has a lot of sexual energy and at times it can feel insatiable. I guess I’m looking to pick the brain of those who have experienced this addiction and have righted the ship. What are the good habits you picked up? What did you do to retrain your brain to not objectify? What did you do to live a more honorable life? And at the same time, what did you do to improve the intimacy in your life without it becoming a problem again?
I am planning on a lengthy period of abstinence coupled with a lot of transmutation audios. I am confident in my ability to do so, but it’s important to not just reach that destination, but develop tools that allow me to deviate from returning down the same path.
I just seperated from a very close relationship, even put her on to sapien med and she loves the channel.
Thing is if you are not experienced, find yourself a quality women who is willing to help you and be patient in your sex life, which my last partner was. If you just want to have sex with women and are not experienced, you will both be dissapointed.
Sex is a beautiful thing, its a part of us, a part of you.
Mainly I was afraid of having relationships with women or having sex with them because my family is very strict about this stuff, and as a 18 year old i didn’t wanna lose the relationship with them, I love them despite all the childhood traumas and stuff we went through.
TLDR: have fun man, go meet people.
Fields I’d Recommend:
Sacral and Base chakra, you will feel secure of yourself, thankful and stable
New perspectives, will excel your mindset towards this stuff.
And blessings of aphordite, this goddess will make you find yourself so attractive that it will reflect to the outward beauty.
Be positive.
Instead of resisting that sexual energy, observe it and accept it.
Go out there and have fun but also be careful with who you share your soul with.
Thanks, Jagolo22. I have plenty of experience, but my most recent escapades feel like I’m longing for an intimacy that is not there with my current partner. The sex is great, however, there’s something in the connection that seems to be lacking. I think I can relate to the separation of a “very close relationship”. Debating it.
Great post mate. I feel the struggle with this ( having overwhelming sexual desire which makes life more difficult ( was painful and not what I wanted personally )
I actually got myself out of it not very voluntarily but I’ll try to point the fields that permitted that.
First, before listening to Sapien I had 0 sexual energy. didn’t M.
I used his Jing and soul core field and all my sexual energy was restored. I begun experiencing what most teens experience, lot of " horniness " in completely overwhelming amounts for me. Also what sucked is I wanted to find people beautiful for what they are inside and not outside, and lots of horniness/sexual energy + heart closed = not possible. Journey to the light game was then released. First it makes you understand than having an overwhelming amount of a feeling ( in this case it’s desire ), isn’t something that has to be normal and be part of your homeostasis. You can release it. That makes you realise that most feelings we cannot accept and so we give in a compulsive behaviour to feel better ( any dopamine stuff ) or project it on other people, anything so we can have a break from the feeling, but by rejecting it it just keeps accumulating more and more. I played the chapter two of the game a bit and released a huge amount of Lust. like 95%. Not all of it though. And as I was still feeling the usual semi depressive state it came back ( to a lesser extent ).
Recently I started using mental health fields again. Manly emotional release. This one release your lust too. But Self love and Acceptance and become whole sealed the deal. Feeling a form of lightness / love / joy in my heart most of the time ( though I do have negative emotions from time to time and I still have a certain amount of sadness that I do not manage to release yet ) and I reached that goal. My heart is open, I see people beautiful for what they are inside ( in their heart ). I see how their heart is. If someone is physically unattractive but I feel a beauty in their heart they are attractive to me. People’s physical appearance doesn’t interest me at all. It’s hard to describe but I just know how their heart is ( and it’ll only get better and more precise I think ! ) ( I have little sexual desire even towards people I love , I just want to have that love connection with them )
Conclusion ? :
You feel a lot of lust, you can’t accept it it’s too intense so you give in ( M ), to have a temporary break ( if even ).
Solution : Emotional Release / journey to the light game / transmutation field. Emotional Release being top 1 for me.
Your heart isn’t open, there is a huge amount of emptiness and whatnot in it and it makes you want to M to feel a temporary " feel good "
Solution : Self love and acceptance and become whole ( and other mental health fields that call you ).
Open up your heart to make Heart chakra based relations not Sacral chakra based
That’s my perspective on it, hope that helps
PS : I don’t find M to be bad at all. I know how it’s a pain in life to have an overwhelming amount of Desire / lust / horniness though and this is what this post adresses.
Thanks, Eli. Great stuff. And yes, I think part two of this hits home. A lot of hardship, emotional trauma in the last decade or so turned me colder as a human being. Felt like my heart was a human pinata, and at some point, it physically said no more. I get anxiety just being around family/old friends I feel were reckless with it and I limit my exposure to those people. Opening the heart is a crucial piece to winning this battle. Thank you for insight. Great share.
You don’t need much abstinence, especially not lengthy. OM would chime in now to say Ojas are enough. I have this to add:
You obviously need a balance, but not as extreme as you think you do. You really aren’t that messed up thinking about sex a lot. Look…
This implies you consider it not honourable. OK what exactly isn’t honourable about the beautiful and magical dance of two souls intimately connecting?
(Bear with me plz, I had an unhealthy attitude towards sex before)
I mean it sounds absolutely lovely to apply sheer willpower to abstain for the longest time. There’s just a tiny crux…
So do I and many others here. The trick isn’t precisely transmutation, it’s more like a gentle drift towards another lifestyle. But with such strong desire, it’ll feel like you’re trying to push back water from a broken dam.
The issue is addiction. But again, how much is too much? And you know the answer… It’s up to you.
Ok ok, there are obvious indicators. For instance are you also indulging in regular porn and masturbation? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? Just be honest.
There’s a simple exercise everyone can do. Just hold off for around 10 days (and go beyond if you feel like). By that point you will already notice the difference in your everyday energy levels, sleep patterns, mental clarity, good habits, etc. This will come natural and feel normal. I would say that this is a requirement to counterbalance addictive patterns.
But you needn’t push this too far either, since you’ll have reached a balancing point that will suffice to you.
This one is easy. You should see women as equals, neither superior, nor interior to you. Don’t worry if you see an attractive lady and feel sth! That’s perfectly healthy from various standpoints!
It’s easier than it sounds… Literally indulge when you need to indulge, and abstain when you need to abstain. Your inner compass will know this. Guided by your intuition, you’re actually likely to find beautiful encounters.
Now that I wrote all of this, actually I haven’t yet read where you think your problem lies precisely… Too much sex? Too many partners? Too much porn? Too weak sex performance? Etc… It could be a multitude or just a single one.
Just whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself and don’t listen into society what you should or shouldn’t be doing as that would mean you’re living someone else’s life.
This was a great response. Well thought out and elaborated on. I appreciate you for it.
I got a few questions in response and I hope others will participate in the response. You say a 10-day reset is necessary. But it felt like I need a lengthier reprieve. I can go weeks/months without, but then when I crack, it becomes all I think about for days and I liken it to an alcoholic falling off the wagon and catching up for lost time.
I believe you are correct about my intuition leading me in the right direction. However, it can be difficult to disseminate between what is my intuition and what are my hormones when they are bad. I think the problem turns back to a lack of intimacy. Been with the same person for a while and the bloom has fell off that once sparkling rose of a relationship. My love for that person is immense, but I am not in love with them. And yet I have stayed out of fear - fearing the consequences that will arrive from that act. I don’t want that person to go hurt themselves. However, staying, I have repressed my own intuition/feelings for a while. And the lack of action is causing problems just the same.
Hello. I don’t know if I will be of any help but, I will try.
This seems to me like you are punishing yourself, seeing sacrifice as a sort of good deed that would be rewared. And what I think is, the longer you plan on abstaining doesn’t just measure how much you think you need to “purify” yourself, but how much time you think you need to feel yourself once again.
Those “pushing things for later” may just be attempts at avoiding your feelings. The further into the future the less you have to care about it, while rewarding yourself for being a “good boy”. I do this all the time with many problems. Once the time comes, I push it further into the future (by the way this isn’t bad, sometimes it is the best you can do).
So, I’d look at how long it takes to “reset” dopamine receptors (and maybe use Sapien audios for their healing and general addcition recovery), and do no more than that. Taking into consideration how you feel, and psychological aspects of it.
I’ve also heard some food types make libido be a valleys and peaks experience, and by changing diet it went away. All those foods are defiinitely carbs, but one can’t simply go into a no-carbs or low carbs diet. Maybe even fasting has negative effects on this. Usually the more “regular” your lifestyle, the better. E.g: starting meditation, everyone has increased libido, same with changing how you train your body. But with time the peaks and valleys go once a new routine is established.
If you still wanted to stay with your partner, it would be a great time to do meaningful things together. It can give you a new perspective. We get addicted because we lack other things. Same goes for spending time with friends and again, doing meaningful or fulfilling things.
Otherwise, you answered yourself. If you take new decisions, we are here to help ^^
I feel you man.
I can tell you that the longer you postpone the obvious thing you should be doing, the longer you are inflicting pain on yourself.
Btw I remembered aanghel (I think that was the spelling on YouTube) he has some really nice and genuine videos talking about nofap. You can check it out for motivation
I try to stay away from sugar, but I certainly frequent the carbs. Sugar is a trigger for me, so I try to avoid it. Seems like when my body craves sugar, it may also be craving some sort of sexual gratification. I’ll look up the dieting and try to get a better understanding of that. Thanks for the cue. As for trying new things, Idk if I want to. I love the kid, but I’ve hit a wall in terms of wanting to be in their presence. I just feel anger and anxiety. I still am kind and loving, but it’s a lot more difficult than it ever has been. I feel bad. Wish it were different, but it’s not. Perhaps that goes back towards avoiding your feelings. I just worry about the ramifications of taking action, though the results of sitting and doing nothing have been brutally taxing on my psyche and physical wellbeing. Thanks for chiming in. I appreciate your wisdom.
, I just want to have that love connection with them )