I love that thread, and I’ve learned a lot from it. I’m just certain that my understanding of reincarnation is off the mark. Even in the domain I have expertise in, I marvel at how much I keep discovering where I was wrong about something or where the standard literature turned out to be wrong. When that happens, I try to reason from first principles and work the problem. With reincarnation, I have zero memories of a past life, and I only have various anecdotes from others and some conflicting theory from various spiritual communities.
That said, I accept it as provisionally true, and, I have asked myself the OP’s question almost exactly. Practical questions that seem more concerned with family than devotion to a religious tradition. That’s me.