What’s Your Code?
I’ve been working on a personal code of ethics for quite some time because, as the years go on, it feels like we agree on less and less about what it means to be good. One of my more popular threads here was all about be a virtuous person in the modern age haha.
It’s just with all the chaos and disagreement amongst us all these days, I find it important to find some common moral ground. I strongly believe that beneath religion, politics, culture, and belief, there are universal principles that maximize inner and outer balance. No matter what your journey is, learning how to best interact with the world is extremely important. It is the spiritual journey itself. All the inner work you do reflects in how you experience the world.
So, it certainly helps to have a code that helps you stay in line and follow the right path no matter what you come across.
I do not claim to have the final answers… these are simply the ten principles that make the most sense to me right now. I’m sharing them because I want to hear yours too, and because your perspectives may help this code continue to evolve.
As for those who have followed my articles on the 10 virtues (from kaballah), this is in essence an extension of those virtues. I will eventually teach the 10 sephiroth in more depth because I still find it to be the most valuable spiritual map I’ve come across.
Now here are the 10 principles
1. Presence
Notice what is happening inside you before automatically reacting to what is happening around you. That small gap between impulse and action is where choice, character, and freedom begin.
2. Truth
Separate what actually happened from the story your fear, pride, or insecurity placed on it. A painful truth can clear the path forward, while a comfortable lie quietly builds a wall.
3. Ownership
Not everything that happens to you is your fault, but what you do next is still yours. Ownership means taking your power back from blame and choosing your direction anyway.
4. Purpose
Give your energy a direction before distraction, validation, or impulse spends it for you. Purpose does not need to be some grand destiny… it can be anything meaningful that allows you to create, contribute, and grow.
5. Empathy
Try to understand the path that shaped someone, even when you disagree with where that path led them. Compassion does not require agreement, and healthy empathy still allows for firm boundaries.
6. Care
Goodness becomes real when it moves through your hands. Leave people, places, and situations slightly better than you found them, especially when nobody is watching.
7. Strength
Goodness needs a spine or it becomes easy to exploit. Strength is knowing when to soften, when to say no, when to walk away, and when you must become a wall.
8. Integrity
Your principles become real when following them costs you something. Integrity means living by the standards you expect from others and honestly acknowledging when you fail to meet them.
9. Humility
Know that your life matters deeply without believing the entire world revolves around you. Stay open enough to learn, change, and say the four words that could prevent countless conflicts: “I might be wrong.”
10. Grace
Life changes, breaks, heals, and moves whether we approve of it or not. Grace is accepting what already is, moving through it without becoming bitter, and allowing yourself to rest when rest is needed.
Those are mine… what are yours?
What is your personal code? What principles, rules, or truths do you return to when deciding how to live, treat people, or handle difficult situations?
You do not need to have ten. Even one principle that has genuinely shaped the way you live is worth sharing.
For anyone interested in the longer version and the reasoning behind each principle, I made a full video here:
