Hey
Ill talk a bit from my experience, as I can kinda relate.
The most important thing is to get out of the old ways and leave these old Emotions behind, if a thought or feeling arises you have to ignore it and think more about the actual good things that you have, this trains your brain into going to a better direction.
We do things on a behaviour basis, and you will keep on comparing yourself until you simply stop. I know how it is to be held down since childhood and later on, but this is not you. There are things we are at fault at but you dont choose the insecurities and problems of the people that surround you from your birth and maybe even along the way you go in life. Their problems are not yours.
You will always just run around in circles comparing yourself with others, what do you wanna achieve with that ? It comes from a place of insecurity and ego as you know, but it will not change anything about these people and yourself. You are not them as they are not you. I could tell you think about how they also have problems, but being quite frankly this way to think will also fuel something inside you that you dont need. Let them be, and be yourself. As you said youre attractive, most people would kill for that. Rather accept that things are good and live by it, yes there will be always some problems, but let these problems come from the outside and not from the inside. Having your worth be chained by the validation from others will lead you down a path of slavery, I dont say its not say to be validated, yes it is, but it should be because of respect for you, not because you need it. Validate yourself first and if some people can’t do that , let them go. Also Relationships might often suffer because one side has insecuritys, Im sure youve heard all of this already, but I still think I should say a bit about this.
You have to lead yourself, and the right person will follow. Don’t bow down to others expectations, they are just human, as they have faults also. Truly I can advise, if you have it easy in life, as with looks and etc, enjoy it, its okay. Childhood can be very draining with parents that talk you down, or abuse you in a way. But you are not a child anymore. Forgive those, but dont forget, let their faults be theirs and dont take it with you on your paths, its not your bag.
You have to allow yourself to feel good, if theres a emotion thats bad, fuck it and feel good. Force it really, I believe thats the path towards acceptance.
Not to insult some folks, but you can see it often, someone you wouldve think hates themself, like maybe having a bit on his belly and stuff, is still very happy and corfmtable with himself, also confidient. And confidience if its respectfull confidience where you draw a line between being disrespected and actually enjoying yourself, is something that enables you in a relationship to be a leader. You are a Man, and that is your Job in your Family to lead and be a foundation where a family is built on.
And also think about it this way, if you ever had a child, do you want to be a father thats insecure ? I doubt so, you rather be somebody thats strong and looked up to. It doesnt matter what other people think. Never did and never will. Their thoughts dont kill you, they dont make you less, its just another brain doing its thing, thats it. Unless they then start to attack you like physically or with words, but thats a extreme situation, and even then Im sure you would protect yourself. Also there will be always things we want to improve, and thats okay and we should all strive to be better I believe, but in a healthy way. Love yourself first even if its hard and even if life shows you bad things, they also make you stronger.
What I can say most, do things that are fun, workout etc, hobbys, and think less of what a women will say if you say this or that, it comes down to energy and vibe anyways. Either way you have to get out of your old comfort zone that doesnt help you, its a old system you might have used to survive in a an enviorement thats judgmental towards you. You are not the victim anymore, and you didnt have it to be back then, but fear stops us, and as a child its rather hard to defend yourself if nobody really told you how to, but now you have to if you want to find peace.
Fields might help but thats also a thing I see, you just look for “help” outside of yourself, while everything you need is inside. Its easier to depend on something sure, but you don’t need it. If anything you still have to act and enjoy yourself and thats a decision you do consciously. If you feel disrespected, say it, if it escalates, thats okay, be at peace with things that are not peacefull, even if its hard at first youll get used to it.
There prolly a lot more I can say but I think you get the idea
