OP’s personal laments (nothing really informative lol):
Summary
So I’m opening this thread for a field that I consider to be a pure Arkenstone, deserving to have its own page. No matter if I’m the only contributor.
I won’t make much effort for English writing right now, so, not-sorry at all in advance. Even in the languages that I master, I rarely feel understood so wtfever lol
The Amygdala field took me by surprise this morning and hammered my brain out with an inundation of tears. I had to make the hugest effort for not taking a revolver and go down in the streets to shoot everybody, saying “Yes, I’m William Blake, do you know my poetry?” like Johnny. I suddenly remembered how sick I feel about not only my own shit, but also the worldwide’s.
But there’s a reality called Dreamweaver, offering other options. That’s what I’ve chosen today as well.
Apparently (if I remember correctly), I’m not the only one to take this Devic field along with me (and sometimes the Tree Experience too) when I go outside, laying on the grass with one foot touching the earth, the other placed on a tree.
This is a posture btw which has refrained me from murdering some people or myself, many times in the past. So it’s like my pill. Thanks to it, I don’t take any other medication.
I already wrote about some recent and less recent experiences with the field. Won’t repeat all. Lately, the most significant part was that during some of the listenings, I did came to suspect a devic fellow trying to channel me, but this didn’t last. It was probably just an episodic thing related to cenesthesia or something, that is, less romantic.
Now, just as before, I have sensations only on my palms, my head and eyelashes/eyes: when I’m eyes closed while listening, there is always this devic fellow (or who/whatever) forcing me to open my eyes by cuddling my eyelashes.
And when I resist and do not open my eyes, I still have these imageries of statues coming up “in front of me”. Maori statues, some more like Haitian and Congolese (I have some personal life-story-familiarity with the 2 latter), or Native American… I don’t know exactly. I’m just labeling by making free associations.
I keep drawing the statues, just like I draw my dreams. But with the dreams, I generally draw or write a possible continuation, like “if the dream went on, it would maybe have ended like… blabla”.
This is generally an effective technique for me and some other people, in order to establish connections with the “awaken” life.
But with the Intercession, I’m still stuck. Probably because unlike my dreams, I’m not the one (at least not now) who will provide the answers… if any.
I draw and paint like a @%#€>>%€!, so I won’t display my own artwork here lol but just paste 2 examples of the statues above mentioned, more or less resembling. I have no idea if it’s about finding out my homeland, my ancestor, my purpose (lol), etc. but I (HS included) “know” that this is the threshold of something “big” for my whole existence.
lol. But… why not, after all…
(<- again, typed accidentally. Ah, this keyboard!!). He was right: Fae is a Devic booster.
As I told Atreides once, I wouldn’t be surprised if you happened to be our actual father.