in Kashmirian shaivism of Abhinavagupta and other enlightened gurus, goddess Kali is one of the Ten Great Cosmic Powers, the facets of Mahashakti (who is also called Shakti, Mahadevi etc), the great divine Mother that created everything, guided by the will of God (also called Paramatman or Paramashiva) - the unmanifested, absolute Consciousness from which we are a little drop of Consciousness, our divine essence, Higher Self, Atman.
Kali is hugely adored in all India, but she is also feared, because her energy is fierce and she suffers no bs, she cuts the bs of our ego to the root and puts us in various life situations for us to learn and transform. While other Great Cosmic Powers are more gentle, Kali is fast and sharp and disrupts our warm life and sleep of the conscience. Kali’s path to Liberation is one of the fastest paths.
The so-called wrathful deities of India and Tibet are not angry in reality, they are just very fast and powerful in their actions of helping us to evolve fast and transcend our ego. And they don’t look like they are pictured, they don’t have six arms that hold various objects, for example, those are symbols for the most important fields of activity specific to that deity.
The base of all Creation is Unity and Love, and the higher the deity / spirit, the more blissful and loving it is.
Kali does all these actions that may seem dangerous from the point of vue of our ego, purely out of love, because she is a high consciousness, part of God, who channels God’s Will and Love. That’s how she is also considered a mother in India.
One can relate to Kali in several ways, a man can feel her as a divine mother, or, in the tantric tradition, she can be related to as a divine lover which he adores, in which case the man identifies himself as Shiva.
One has to have a great control of his energies to dare to follow this last path, but Kali loves spiritual heroes, decided people that are firmly set to evolve at all risk and to arrive as fast as possible to their supreme goal, the supreme Liberation, moksha.
Kali’s bija mantra (the seed mantra, the sound form of the deity) can be found online, but to be effective, it should be received from an initiated guru. Another possibility is to energize the mantra through repetition for long periods of time, but i, personally, wouldn’t do this with Kali’s mantra, and frankly, I would choose a more gentle deity.
You might have been worshipping her in a previous life, though, or in many lives, and possibly that is why you are so attracted by her in this life.
You could use her yantra instead of the mantra, and put it on a wall and do tratakam with it for minutes - hours daily, because the yantra is the geometric, spatial form of the deity.
What is the most important thing , though, is the love in your heart. One of the best methods to be one with a Great Cosmic Power is to abandon yourself (your will, not your soul) to her and just love her, with unconditional love, and ask her to help you. It doesn’t need to be anything complicated, they are highly intelligent beings that hear us instantly and know us way better that we know ourselves or our needs.
You can talk to her and ask her to help you, and even better, talk to her with your heart.
