Last night, I had a powerful and peaceful dream that made me come to accept myself and move forward with my life.
I was in the passenger seat of my car and I was playing video games all day and night. It was a constant loop until I heard a bell. I looked to my right and it was a wedding chapel and saw my old high school friend getting married.
Somehow my body was pulled into the chapel so I went inside just out of curiosity. Inside, it was a amusement park and factory assembly line for all relationship stages. It’s super cartoony but yeah I saw all my old high school friends and people who I haven’t seen for so long rushing to get married pretty much.
All the women got random wedding dresses like it was almost like the Sims video game lol. Anyways, I got a random wedding dress and suddenly found a wavy mirror in my way so I decided to look at myself. The self reflection part of me spoke to me and said that “You are not ready” “You are perfectly fine where you are at” Dont compare and live your life” and “Dont join the rat race”.
I remember being shocked at first and then I said ok I fully accept that. After that, the assembly line dimmed the lights and shit down the wedding factory and that’s when I woke up.
I just turned 32 and for the longest time I guess subsciously I blamed myself and thought that something is wrong with me for not having friends or keeping my old friends at this time of my life. I take it to heart that we don’t banter or my friends never contacted me back for years. I felt like I’m the only one really trying so hard to keep things together but I just have to let things go. I feel like I finally come to terms and that it’s ok.
I don’t need to stress myself out and eventually I will find new and amazing people in my journey who would become friends with me. So yeah, I’m trying to do things that I love and nurture my soul and go from there.