The practice of continually remembering to be conscious expands your awareness of self and now. As our minds drift off, we tend to ‘think’ we are ‘thinking’ the thoughts. It isn’t until we regain awareness of the present that we realize we were pulled away from the present by the thoughts. So, constantly remembering to be present even if we are just present for 3-5 seconds, compounds over time to increase that presence to 10 seconds, 30, 60 and so on.
What I came to learn with meditation is that I would beat myself up so much when I would lose focus like after just 20 seconds. I would feel like I was doing it wrong and that I just didn’t have it in my to meditate for long periods of time. So I began just trying to see how long I can focus today and when I lose focus, return back to focusing as soon as I realize I drift off. What I realized is that everytime I returned focus back to the present, the ego’s patterns would slow down more and more. And the thoughts just got less dense in being able to pull me… and then…
I would begin to notice the thought before it tries to drag me into thinking it! And in being in a state of awareness before thoughts take place… I’m just now chilling in peaceful silence. Not having to return focus or get drifted off of focus. In fact, it’s not even focus anymore. It’s just… beingness.
And that’s something else I want to share with you guys. When I speak of focus, I don’t mean the hard strain of trying to only think of one thing and nothing else. I mean restful and non judgemental observation. Just relaxed, no expectation or wants from the meditation, just letting the mind and world flow.
Whatever thoughts appear, don’t judge them or fight them. Just observe them. Feel whatever emotions come up. If you reject them, they will distract you. If you accept them, they will pass. This sounds hard but once you ‘get it,’ through consistent practice, you will see experience how effortless it truly can be.
It’s a kind of like slowly freeing yourself from the continual effort your ego projects into processing thoughts and feelings and judging everything. The self behind the ego’s programming is unconditional and at peace.