Thank you for your intake.
I am very sure that he doesn’t get enough love and intimacy.
I try to kiss and cuddle and speak kindly to him. Although sometimes I just can’t. I often feel annoyed and resentful to him. He would come home and my mood would suddenly change 180 degrees. I don’t know why.
Although we often felt/feel happy together and due to that he doesn’t want to ruin relationship. Sometimes I feel like I want to leave, but more often I’d rather stay.
We haven’t been intimate for years due to my low libido. However he always mentioned my unwillingness to have sex as a ‘convinience’. He would compare me to his ex-wife, who was the opposite - always horny - and he said it was very tiring. So I used to believe he is fine without sex. As far as I know he doesn’t even masturbate. I now think he has a lot of tension built up inside him due to unreleased sexual energy.
I don’t think the child receives all my love. I don’t think I have much love to give to begin with.
I have mental health issues, had them for many years. Mainly depression. I listen to several fields for that and want to think they help, but the progress is rather slow.
Looking at how often negative events happen to me - I am now sure I carry a victim mindset, consciously or not. I listen to my self-love stash for that and try to meditate.
Get the child out of this abusive situation immediately, lest you be considered complicit in his crimes.
AFAIC screaming at children is a capital crime.
Have y’all considered therapy?
If neither of you want therapy then talk it out, ask him why he’s mad?
Let me tell you that when someone is angry is because they do not want to admit that they’ve been hurt.
Ask him how is he hurt? Why is he hurt?
Ask yourself why are you hurt? Why are you resentful towards him? Is it because he has hurt you? something else?
Understand why he’s mad and understand that he was just trying to make himself feel better even though he was very rude. Same goes for him. Maybe he is mad because of the way you were acting and you were acting that way to make yourself feel better too, even though you could’ve been selfish.
This complete madness and abuse could literally just be a misunderstanding.
Sounds to me like these are the issues here – several problems coming together all at once with both partners:
→ A miracle that he isn’t long gone. Any sexually healthy male would be long gone or would have cheated.
→ Do you actually find him attractive? Or are just in a comfort zone of being provided for?
→ A relationship without sex is a friendship!
→ Are your hormones in a healthy balance? Do you have any trauma related to sexual expression?
→ A way of how you rationalized to yourself that “sex is not required in a relationship” and “that you don’t need to initiate it”.
→ Yes, if has no sexual release whatsoever, then this will create stuck energy in the meridians, causing longterm resentment, anger ourbursts, irritability etc.
The same applies to you as a female. If you never have an orgasm, your energy is stuck and this where your depression, resentment and neuroticism probably comes from mostly.
→ Is your Heart Chakra blocked by some trauma? Have you ever loved a lot before? Are you able to give your child a lot of love?
→ This one needs to be fixed asap. Otherwise you will manifest more situations like this.
Blueprint of Love NFT can most likely solve all of these issues long-term (if you can get your hands on it).
Otherwise there would be a stack of fields addressing all these different problems. Most of these stacks would include JAAJ’s Self Love Stack.
Also, you and your partners should probably start with a session of bringing each other to orgasm, then have a deep open talk about all the repressed issues and topics.
If you do not take responsibility and INITIATE, it is very unlikely that your partner will do that. One of you two has to make the first step forward.
A relationship without sex is a friendship.
Personally I dont agree at all with the some of the above comments. I dont know what parallel universe they’re living on but anyways…
For victim mentality you can easily fix it with New Perspectives or Outlook Retrainer.
I dont think anything of your situation has to do with sex
Its abuse. Short and easy. You have nothing to fix if he does not want to fix himself. You have done your part. @Ali
Im just writing to let it be known a victim of abuse NEVER needs to justify themselves- especially with some of the comments from others i’m sadly reading from above
A violent relationship will remain violent- sex or no sex
Also sorry I couldn’t respond to your PM
I will do so now @Ali
It has 1000% to do with sex and all the underlying issues.
She admitted and described it herself.
Have you actually read the whole thread?
If you cannot see this, then you need to ask yourself whether you are repressing a part of your sexuality yourself.
There is a feature in the BoLove NFT that can help you with that.
Abuse on both sides of the relationship.
They are abusing each other.
Again, have you actually read the whole thread?
She literally admitted it and wrote it above.
This is exactly the low quality advice and mindset that keeps people stuck in their miserable realities and victim mode. If she would be already healed and would not have any open topics to work on, then she would not manifest the situations she described and she would not be treated like that by her partner or anyone else.
The fact that she is experiencing this stuff is proof that there is also a ton of work to be done on her side. Situations like this are always co-manifestations.
Violet, by giving such advice, you are clearly projecting your own unwillingness to work on your own issues onto others. Where the woman is always the victim and the man is always the one who needs to work on himself. She clearly stated the problems and issues above – yet you continue to try and brainwash her that it is 100% not her fault and that she is completely innocent.
No one said anything about violence in the thread.
Screaming and gaslighting is psychological abuse, but not violence.
Again, that is your projection.
You should stop consuming feminist propaganda where everything that is slightly below “super happy” is automatically labeled as “violence”.
No i didn’t read anything else so relax yourself jaaj
And feminist just means cerebral equality. Dont be so weird about it.
I’m not sure how you’ve concluded violence is only equated to physical and not mental but eh I’ll leave you to it.
Jheez guys this is not it. I normally find ur points intresting and good points, But this no.
do you believe if these two have healthy sex all their issues would be solved?
JAAJ, you somehow made this situation look like it’s all about sex, about me not giving him sex.
And yet it’s Violet who is projecting?
Lovely. I don’t need such ‘miracles’ then…
I used to find him attractive, but after so many hurtful words he said to me, I just no longer do. I don’t feel like I respect him any longer.
I brought it up to him some time ago, he said that’s what he seeks - strong friendship. That he is ‘old’ and it’s hard for him to satisfy a woman. He didn’t say these words directly but that’s how I understood him.
I do have trauma, caused again by my partner.
Especially when he forced me to have unprotected sex with him, even though I didn’t want it, and I could get pregnant, but he didn’t care.
Or when I was in labour and bleeding, I begged him to take me to the hospital but he said to ‘let him sleep, he has work tomorrow, it’s a long process anyway’.
Or when he blamed me in mental illnesses.
Or when he’s been allowing his parents to bring me and our child down, and didn’t intervene.
I certainly have some trauma. I want to give more love. But I need to heal myself first. I loved before, probably with a stronger love, but I just can’t awaken those feelings like I used to. Mentioning, it always was a platonic love. I might be asexual, I don’t know. However I used to be sexually attracted to my partner in the past so idk
Underlying issues like trauma, missing attraction, depression, a transactional relationship etc.
All of these issues lead to the non-existence of a healthy sexual expression, which is required for a healthy romantic relationship.
Do you know what might be the origin of this behavior from him?
If this was not the case in the beginning of the relationship, then something must have happened which made him behave like this.
Or was he always like that and you entered the relationship without paying attention to the red flags in his behavior?
Which can then mean 3 things:
A) He no longer finds you attractive
B) He has severe sexual blockages
C) He no longer finds you attractive + He has severe sexual blockages
This sounds like he has severe sexual blockages and trauma himself.
No healthy male would say something like this.
As a man I can tell you that such a statement is a subterfuge.
Did he actually force you with physical force?
Or did he talked you into doing it against your concerns?
Physical force = violence.
He talked you into it = emotional manipulation.
Further questions to ask:
Were you also on contraception?
If not, tried he to talk you into also taking care of the contraception?
Was his reason to have unprotected sex because of the more realistic feeling down there or because he actually wanted to impregnate you or something else?
Do I understand correct, his parents also screamed or insulted you and your child?
If yes, is there a reason why they don’t like you?
Hmm, so as mentioned previously this sounds to me like there was never real sexual attraction in the first place, only some superficial platonic love and rationalization of the situation.
You need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself whether you dated him in the beginning because you didn’t have any other dating choices or whether you actually had choices available and chose this particular man because you found him attractive?
This. He always was this way. I cried ever since the begging of our relationship. Wanted to leave but then got pregnant. His behaviour suddenly changed. He became calm and caring. Was this way up until our child wasn’t a toddler anymore. Then he was back to his cruel self. He blames his overactive adrenal glands for this.
I think it’s his dysfunctional family. They are straight up sociopaths. Incredibly hateful, mean people. If I knew his family beforehand (we live in a different country than his parents), I would have never entered the relationship.
Yes. No talking.
I wasn’t on contraception. He never asked me to start it. This incident was many years ago, before the child. I however eventually did start contraception to balance my hormones, but it was after the child. The incident was before the child. I’ve Been on the pill for years, then quit because of weight gain. Not that I became obese, just skinny to curvy. He always said he likes me curvy.
I wish I had more advice for you than this, but in your situation here’s the best I’ve got.
You want to leave. You’re leaving. It’s happening. You feel you can’t right now, but at least be resolute in the decision to.
Be resolute in the decision to go, but don’t rail so much against the situation. Not even in your own mind. Just keep repeating to yourself, I’m going. If there’s an interaction you don’t like, remove yourself and the child at least to another room. Be as stoic as possible. Be boring. Research the grey rock method.
Be uninteresting. Commit to a number of days, weeks or months where things are as boring as they can be. Stay resolute in your decision to go.
There will be an opportunity. When it comes, take it.
Use the fields to conjure enough strength/bravery/balls to actually go.
I’m not going to make a judgment, I’m just noticing how the prevailing desire with you seems to be go rather than stay.
Okay, this makes things more clear.
The only solutions I can recommend you at this point are to do your best to become independent of him (i.e. finding a job) + ask higher powers for support and resolution.
Fields to use:
- Angelic Intercession:
Admit to the angels that you made a mistake when you entered the relationship and ask them for a resolution. Ask them for help and support in finding an exit strategy for you.
- Justice For All:
This will bring justice to all parties involved. If you are mostly innocent, then you you have nothing to fear when playing this.
- Higher Self Connection:
Same as with the angels.
- Raise Your Vibrational State + The Alchemical Revision of Childhood + Point of No Return:
You could try and play these in front of your partner in case you are stil interested in saving the relationship somehow. Also, the whole JAAJ’s Self Love Stack for you and for him.
In all of these please also consider the needs of your child for a father figure.
Hello @Ali
New recommendation to you. The one of newest field released. If you feel some release/detox afterwards, Your self love field can help(can play as much u want).
Thank you so much. This is very helpful to me. I will be trying to apply your advice as much as I can and will be researching further.
Thank you Owl 
This is already in my playlist :)
At the end of the day you know the situation best. None of us can tell you what to do or not to do; all i know is that I’m confident you are going to kick ass and be like that of the Phoenix whom rises from the ashes
Dark Servitor (paetron i think?) is sincerely recomended
It is free.
So @annons know you’ve thay option, too
And it goes without saying I always write a 37738282362 fields ; I don’t want you thinkijg I’m saying get them all lol.
See what draws you in; my or anyone’s opinion is just that- an opinion. At the end of the day, you know best.
With that said. If anyone (you too Ali) are in a heat of the moment violent attack consider Negentropic Dragon or the the audio turned mandala Fight-To-Flight.
*i have not read literally anyone’s comments other than Ali’s so let’s go easy folks