He doesn’t even believe he needs therapy. He thinks it’s a stupidest idea in the world. His view on it is 'I know I am a goose. I don’t need a doctor to tell me I’m a swan". He rejects it so unhesitatingly, just no and NO. Especially when we ‘can’t afford it’. 
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My personal and emotional supporter
A therapist for your convenient use; 1/3 of the typical session’s cost and that too forever
(Not that you were asking but i couldn’t resist lol)
It’s good. I mean personally after Blueprint of the past though
I wouldn’t reccomend anything for him other than that lol
Well everyone but in this case especially him
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Damn
Then leave him and allow him to see how life can be absolutely worth living and very meaningful.
He will once you leave him.
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Ahh the emotional supporter is not for sale for some reason. But potentially that would be just what we need… Damn.
I will buy the blueprint of the past on my first salary, if all goes smoothly.
Much appreciated Violet, I wish I could send you my gratitude like I send messages!! 
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Being screamed at by a parent is emotional abuse 100% of the time.
Never EVER keep a child around an emotional abuser because “they need a father figure in their life”. That’s not any better than keeping around a rapist because you need sex.
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)Since you are quoting me…
This not what I said.
What I wrote was:
= Consider the needs of the child
NOT “keep” an abuser around
Also:
= “a figure figure”
NOT “the biological father”
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I think he was just saying it to reiterate the fact many victims stay with their abusers being they are afraid of depriving their child of their own father. They feel ashamed. And often times the only father figure they’d have is that said person aka their father aka the abuser. Culture plays a huge role in that
Like in eastern traditions, you become an outcast from the family. And because of their religious beliefs you won’t go near another man again…
I say that from my witnessing of several important female figures in my life. Some cultures in context to what you said- absolutely seems more feasible. But honestly at such a pivotal moment the a child’s sociocognitive development, having a father - well lack of - is the better option since its the lesser than the two evils
example in point: the lady who raised me; she was an outcast once she left her husband; she was pregnant with their daughter; actually the very reason why she was able to raise me. Her daughter had no male figure but she’s turned out fine. No more abuse. the cycle cleared.
But i have to admit. One of the major reasons (not directing at you @ali, unless you are like 90 or something lol) remain with their spouse is out of guilt and time; if you’ve remained 50 years married to them, for them its like “no going back” - whats the point anyways. And then another reason like mentioned: guilt. If the abuser is super dependent albeit very mean towards the non-violent spouse, the spouse may feel like its their duty to make sure they are alright; they are married afterall; that’s where belief systems come into play.
Some women i know will never leave because they feel (and i fully respect it as much as it pains me) they are defying god; they vowed to Him after all. it’s really a complex tricky situation;
whats very encouraging however is that we are seeing in modern times - unlike ever before- to support, encourage women/ men to leave. just look at Johnny Depp. Or the thousands of young female survivors who are famous for escaping.
Plus now modern times allow for more opportunities too for women; they can get an education and hold a job unlike centuries ago where any talk of furthering the girl’s education was prohibited.
I don’t think he was directly meaning to put you down or something. He had a good intentions
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And this is why I also emphasized that the woman above also needs to work on herself too. Her lack of self-love and the shame that you just mentioned of course too. Healing shame is also a key part of the Self Love Stack that I created.
If she does not do this, she may get away from this scenario but is at risk of repeating the same unresolved subconscious patterns in her next relationship.
The victim needs to heal what has made it a victim in the first place. Otherwise sooner or later a new abuser will be manifested.
I agree that culture can be a big road block in healing and moving forward in life.
In the age of “cancel culture” it is some outdated cultures that actually need to be “cancelled” (or at least reformed for the modern age) for the sake of humanity.
In her case above, if I understood her other posts here on the forum correctly, we are speaking of US and Ukrainian culture, which is both Western culture, so there shouldn’t be much roadblocks culturally wise.
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She is not. She was kind enough to disclose to me she is not in a country where these recommendations- which i know you write in good intention- are condemned .
@JAAJ i know you are an avid fan of the subconscious. But its not always the reason for everything. it’s not always Savior Complex which is the root of these problems.
Did you know even in the West, even once you escape their wrath you are still incredibly susceptible to their wrath including murder? When they leave, they aren’t taken seriously as much as they should be for filing restraining orders. Or sometimes the abuser is so bound on vengeance that they’ll still disobey that order and come after them.
So as you can see it’s not always about self love. It’s about survival mode and trying to think through the situation realistically. Or the best way to prevent loosing custody of the child.
It’s why i think WW contentment, SOR or the protected righteous from ES will always be a the X on the treasure map for them
& Nah man. Sorry but that’s wrong thinking.
I don’t think you’ve first hand witnessed this stuff. Because never in my life have I word for word heard someone speak like this; it feels very , to be blunt, ignorant. Maybe if you saw it. The way they have. You’d feel totally disgusted not only by this statement of yours but by even daring to write earlier- that too in complete and utter conviction- that the answer is sex.
Also wait. I’m so silly. In the west we have safety shelters too!
In the west women get thrown acid on by them for saying no! They love themselves. Full heartedly! Oh the beautiful confidence they even had as to say it.
Your statements man. Really have me in tears. You have silenced their plea to walk away by minimzomg them completely.
I really should walk away now from this thread and so I will. What’s the point of this entire arguing if it doesn’t do anything. But for those women. For those survivors, I just knew it needed to as this isn’t about me, it’s about them. As a woman it is my duty to help my sisters. Not to mention it wasn’t sitting well that Ali had to justify herself when she shouldn’t have.
But i feel like the universe wants me to play this out again with you like we had back last october @JAAJ.
But this time i have remained in my power and not emotionally violative. This time i didn’t need to run to my friend and ask for solace.
So I guess in a way thanks.
I’m going to stop now. And hey @Ali I’m proud of you.
I know I suck at PMs but yes we really should get working on that recommendations thread for victims here. It’s an important project if @anyone wants to undertake or join.
Thank you
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Never understood that…don’t be a victim when you are? Like be a victim when you are a victim/an abuser when you are an abuser and a person that doesn’t take a part in any of those two when you are not in any of those situations. What is it to heal? a victim mentality that a victim must have in a victim situation? Not intuitive at all, at least be a victim when you are acknowledge and seek things to do like calling the police so they can help, actual help is better than say “heal victim” justice will always be better than telling lies to yourself and revenge is really a path that one can take. Some say revenge is sweet other revenge will make your heart cold etc.
Just be yourself for real and have a goal with what you wanna do and then do it with clarity I guess. Confusion is the worst state a human can be because you are going to be in 1000 decisions at once with only one body to move, just to be clear I don’t have anything to say to this conversation it seems a really delicate thread. So sensitive which I admire your courage to ask people that are NOT in the situation and will NOT help you practically but tell you about things. No wonder why some people not take seriously that threads because in the back of my mind I always say “this person seeks attention to write this things” seriously I don’t know what to add.
Just an opinion I don’t know anything related to your life or what audios you hear etc.
Why is this being turned into some debate. Can we just help this person.
Skull members see what u guys can do.
@El_Capitan_Nemo @SammyG please help this poor lady. 
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Most of my work is done in secret.
Child and animal abuse trumps all in questions of free will.
If I have Observed abuse, I have done something about it.
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But it is.
Really.
Longterm solutions to allmost all problems are to be found and solved via the subconscious mind route.
The subconscious mind manifests our personal reality bubbles pretty much all of the time. I’ve tried explaining this on the forum here many times.
Most people don’t even believe that they HAVE an subconscious mind.
They believe they are the driver, while in 99% of the cases they are passenger, rationalizing the occuring events in their minds.
Dream even made an EXTRA video about this topic to wake people up:
As for all of these…
…all of these aspects are variables in what one manifests or one doesn’t.
None of these are set in stone.
All variables can be influenced by manifestation i.e. subconscious core beliefs.
Plus, there are also the intercession fields for external extra help. Extra invisible help is always available, but people need to ask.
Also, these statements represent the same world view that the mass media is constantly putting into people’s minds.
People are repeating their subconscious loops all the time.
And they defend their role inside these loops until the loop becomes so painful that they can no longer ignore it.
Because like you, people think this can’t be true, they are repeating their loops again and again and again and again, and it takes them an incredible amount of incarnations to finally move on.
Do you listen to Conceptual Realizations daily?
I think you have a strong core belief of victimhood that is tied to your current gender. Which has also been the nerrative of the mass media for the past 20 years. But it is always your choice whether you want your reality to be that way longterm or not.
All I am saying is that for the case above, in the LONGTERM, the victim needs to solve her underlying issues in order to NOT REPEAT the same scenarios. This is what actually helps the victim in the longterm.
But in 99% for women only 
, but I guess you already knew that?
You continue to remain in your victim mode and any reason that I bring up to push you into actual responsibility is immediately denied by your ego.
Exactly. These are your loops to break. I am working on breaking mine.
I really hope you will listen to Conceptual Realizations more often.
This is the field that everyone needs.
Wait until your Higher Self shows your male incarnations. You will acquire a broader perspective.
Look, if I am triggering you, then this means there are somewhere hidden subconscious beliefs in you that trigger these emotions. Otherwise you wouldn’t be emotionally triggered.
While you ego perceives these as an aggression, it is actually a gift in disguise, because this is how you know where you need to resolve unconscious stuff in order to become unbreakable and fully sovereign in the longterm.
Here again, you are going into the victim mode with the hidden intention that others reading this will side with you, “because poor little girl started crying after someone told her that she manifests her own reality and needs to take responsibility”.
You really need to stop this loop. I strongly believe that you are not like that.
Which translates for me into “I choose to see myself as a victim. I am almost crying. Let’s make a thread where victims can be treated 100% as victims only. Who wants to join me?”.
Yes, I do.
Please break the loops.
#ConceptualRealizations
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I think it’s different approaches? Sure what jaaj wrote could be misunderstood or taken wrong but in the end he tries to help rather analytically and maybe asks questions that could cause some emotional upheaval.
Whether one is the abuser or the abused they need each other and by finding the reasons one increases the chance to escape this cycle. I think that’s what he tried by asking such questions with knowledge he has at his disposal in that moment.
What’s maybe missing is the acceptance part or maybe it seems like that to others?
That even if it seems “illogical” at the moment to just accept that this person feels that way and accept that victim hood. Which could also lead to dissolving of that trauma or situation and lead a path to new subconscious patterns.
I think it’s funny cause It could also be seen as a more logical/analytical approach which is more interpreted as masculine and the more emotional approach which could be more seen as feminine.
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Lmao you playin or wha. You disrespectin my wife. My woman over here was trafficked as a kid. You be dissing my queen. Damn lost respect from me fr. Tf asking ab lol
Reading through this thread has been rather dissapointing. This is supposed to be a helpful forum but some of you seem to not even know what empathy is. Beyond empathy, is the assertion that your ideas and intuition on something is the 100% end be all. Making assumptions about other peoples lives and what’s really in the background and asserting these things as facts is rather invalidating to someones feelings and experiences. I sense projection seeping through the inner struggles some of you are facing. And what comes out isn’t helpful here.
Despite my dissapointment, there are some great answers here and I even agree with aspects of the more controversial ones.
What I want to say has already been said. It is wise to leave this relationship if you can. Emotional abuse is a habitual pattern. It’s a heavy one and to counteract it takes an immense amount of willpower from the abuser. It takes a massive transmutation that perhaps can be done through a lot of therapy, a psychedelic experience in a therapeutic or shamanic environment or even consistently listening to fields. But even then, it takes conscious introspection. He has to want to stop and he has to make an effort to do so.
I know him wanting to listen to fields is a step forward for him. And I hope he consistently does so. But the real effort is in how he reacts to you. How he speaks to you. Men are very easily triggered by their women. If we are bound to you, we feel what you feel. And women are very direct with their emotions. Us men tend not know how to process the emotions transferred to us, that tend to make us feel like we’re a villain or exposing other emotions hidden underneath or making us feel bad in any sort of way and so the irrational thing some men do is… snap that energy right back at the woman. And some men, like the man we are speaking of, do so viciously. Do so to hurt. They are hurt, so they hurt you. It’s not even fully intentional at times. It’s a heavy pattern that is always there… just waiting to be triggered by any little thing.
The best you could really do as he is trying to be better, is be as loving and emotionally supportive as you can as he works through the fields and tries to better himself with you. I know that is difficult for you since you are also going through your own troubles. Love doesn’t come so easily to you. So I would recommend having love, gratitude and appreciation playing in your pocket or around you on repeat. Perhaps on a daily basis, sit with him and try to have therapeutic sessions where you allow him to speak to you about his problems and you listen with unconditional love and acceptance while having love gratitude and appreciation playing in the background.
I know. That sounds horrible. He should be doing that for you. He is abusing you. But I say this because if you want to stay with him and you hope for him to change, that pattern of his needs to be dissolved. And it is dissolved through working through it as a couple. It is when that pattern gets dissolved, that he can be that man for you. He can listen to you. Take all your pain and sorrow and dissolve with love and kindness. Sounds like a far away fantasy huh?
It probably is unlikely that you can get this sort of outcome… judging from everything I’ve read here. I mention this because you ask for a solution to fix things with him and this is just an idea that came to mind. But I’m realistic and people in really dark states tend to not have the mental resilience to push through in the way I mention. I think a marriage counselor would be very necessary to have a middling neutral voice in the picture.
Truthfully, I believe the best thing to do is leave if you can. I know that certain countries and cultures make that very difficult or even impossible in some cases. That is why having a support group of some sort is very helpful. Being able to leave and live with someone else or women suffrage group for a short time would be the right way to move forward I believe. It’s just so much easier said than done. That much I know. You’re conflicted. You want to leave but feel that you can’t. I am sorry for your situation as I can only imagine how difficult it is. It will be a difficult road ahead. But the time to act is as soon as possible. Your mental health and wellbeing is at stake and let’s do what we can to protect and nurture that.
You have people here. And we’re willing to help in whatever way we can. If there are groups in your town, contact them. If you’re still willing to help him, give it a shot. Really try to work things out in your own way. But if he continues projecting that pattern of his, you should do whatever you must to leave.
As always, these are simply my suggestions. Do what you feel is best for you @Ali
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Wow thank you for this. I could use this as well.