Going thru a lot of transformation… any suggestions on audios that make receiving positive things from others, easier?

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#1

Someone “wrote me in their book” so to speak, and the journey out of their grasp is bringing up a lot of deep seated traumas for me. These traumas are likely the things that have allowed their attempts to work.

However I am finally seeing improvements after a back and forth fight between their dark attempts and God’s invitation to pull me out of it.

I have always given to people. In fact, it is a lot easier for me to give wisdom, give spiritual advice, give what people need, than it is for me to receive care, receive actual love, receive the resources I require to thrive and survive.

It’s dawned on me that I choose the people who I have to fight to be strong with, because they are dangerous, over the people who I can be soft with because they do not pose any danger to me. I do not want that. It goes against my desires however I recognize it as a pattern.

Someone just donated a few things that I needed and it’s brought me to the edge. It is SO hard to receive this. I did receive it and was overfilled with gratitude. But at the same time it triggers my child self. It triggers my fear. It triggers the thought that I don’t deserve it and they’ll look at me and think I don’t deserve it. It triggers fear of worse to come.

I need to overcome this, and I need to walk through this chasm to the other side. It’s really tough, although I have gone thru the journey of my pain time and time again, this one especially hurts.

Which audios can support this the best? I’m sure the childhood trauma, but any other ideas?

Thank you

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#3

Try The Black Sun.

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#4

Wow, that’s intense!

#5

Thank you, I’ll check it out

#6

Stack meaning—listen to the videos in each stage all at once? Or each video consecutively?

#8

Thank you, I read it…I understand that I should listen to one stage each week. But I did not see clarification of my question… Meaning, do I play the videos in stage 1 all at once in a listen, or do I listen to stage 1 in a playlist, one video at a time? :pray:

I often listen to the audios by opening multiple tabs and playing the songs at once.

#11

I would like to state to any others responding to this post:

I am not new to these things. I use multiple tabs because it works for me. Very well, actually. It’s been a great way for me to dig deeper into my practice.

Onward and forward ~