That is an excellent way to see life, I believe. What you think about, you bring about.
Seems to me that something needs to work on the inside first, then to see it on the outside. Aside from the above mentioned suggested fields, I’m not sure if you’re looking for paid fields, but https://forum.enlightenedstates.com/t/mandelbrot-symphony/53665 might help with the blockages, you may read the reviews there.
As well as https://forum.enlightenedstates.com/t/resilience-the-antifragile/57593 if you haven’t listened to it already.