How to forgive?

A long time ago, one person hurt me greatly. I still carry the pain from the event in me. I tried to speak with them about the problem, but they don’t understand why am I hurting and see no wrongdoing.
First, I thought that if they would realise the pain they caused me, and apologise, it would heal my trauma.
But now I’m not too sure. I don’t think they will be able to understand my pain.
How can I forgive them?

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Get selfish, if you don’t forgive others only you will suffer both mentally and physically, the other person will be happy. The following will help.

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It is interesting to see that we as humans always seem to strive for a state of equilibrium or absolute fairness in any given situation. Or thinking in terms of predictable cause and effect, if you say this to me, I should respond in a certain way; if you do that to me, I should do that to you, too. But more often than not, at least in our physical 3D world, there exists countless unfairness, things being unequal, people being mean and getting away with it, even on a grand scale.

What do we do about it? Should we respond in the same way as what they did to us? Or does that then make us not the same as them, hence we move from the role as a victim to the role of a person inflicting damage, the same damage that has been done to us? If that would be the case, humanity would have wiped itself out probably not once, but numerous times. Check the history books on how close that was to happen.

Now consider there are about 8 billion souls on Earth right now, and who knows how many billions still floating around from the past. Each soul currently has a valid subjective experience of reality, to each there is an individual truth of experience that is undeniably true and a constant to them. It is their own unique way of experiencing life, just as yours is yours. All of them are true and valid. Notice the absence of any judgment here.

Now if you look at the sheer number of 8 billion, add to it how they all interweave, you can almost certainly expect a massive amount of unfairness appearing, simply due to the fact that people will adhere to their own individual truth as being superior to another one’s. Granted, not everybody will act in this way, but the observation here is simply that this is a fertile ground for clashes of individually subjective realities to occur.

How does this tie into forgiveness? Well, if you acknowledge and try to understand the above premise, you are very quickly to realize that it is rather futile to attempt to forgive someone else with the idea in mind that they ought to apologise to you, in order for you to overcome your trauma. Because in such a scenario, you already gave away your power to them, thereby remaining to the role as a victim. But it was never the case that they should be your savior. Rather, it is increasingly likely that they won’t bother nor care, as this aligns with their subjective truth of perceiving reality. Remember it is much easier to point fingers at someone else, than to be honest to yourself.

You can, at this moment, release the pain and burden you carry by forgiving yourself. It was never the case of forgiving others. You go and forgive yourself, there is no special technique to apply. Simply forgive yourself and be sincere and honest with yourself. Think about how you maneuvered yourself into this situation, think about how much of a different person you are today, due to this experience. Consider the fact that you gave away your power to another person and that that isn’t right at all. Reclaim your power and do this for yourself.

Also, ponder on the implications. You are now free, you are in control of the situation and of any future situations. You have regained your inner power; there is no other person that can impose anything on you, because you understand what forgiveness is. That’s really huge, and extremely useful in everyday life.

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Ask Jesus and Metatron.

Metatron is the Archangel of Karma. He will show you the reasons and timelines so you can see it impassively.

Jesus is Forgiveness Personified. I suggest pronouncing his name Yah-huh-shu-uh as it carries the kabbalistic significance and is how he would have pronounced his own name (I think).

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Thank you. Would I need a specific field for that or directing my attention to them in my mind would be enough?

Speaking their name is enough. A divine name is a perfect calling card.

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Imagination is more important than knowledge. Take a step into the ideal you wish to have.

I used to feel this way too.

But this should help. Imagine you’re walking down the street and you see a person hunched over, shivering, half naked, covered in dirt, rocking back and forth, muttering to themselves. Imagine they say something to you that would “normally” hurt you, but coming from this person, it doesn’t - because clearly, they have a lot on their plate.

Now how do we really know whether or not the people who hurt us feel this exact way on the inside?

Perhaps you’re in a better place than them, and don’t know it.

People don’t always act according to their prescribed roles, because they’re people, and life is much more complicated than we are taught it is.

Note: This is not an excuse to stay in an abusive situation, always remove yourself if you’re repeatedly being treated in a way that is harmful to your health in any way

:green_heart:

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Thank you Jen… My ego wasn’t letting me see past my own pain. But this helped to put things into perspective. :white_heart:

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Frgiveness is understanding. It’s not an act, it’s not an emitance, it’s not anything other than knowing. You either forgive or you don’t, just like you love or you don’t.

It’s not a procedure or something you force yourself to do. You can only do it when you understand, therefore it’s not even forgiveness…that’s a word.

Understand there’s other things involved… subliminal messages, a consciousness directly plugged into my mind That wants you to feel separated and shameful.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or who you are. See, If part of my body gets sick and it’s being played out as cells
attacking each other in the worse brutal ways inside my body. Cancer and allergies would go hand and hand based upon that, autoimmune disorders…

What do you gonna do, punish it? or you just want it to heal
so you can go on with your life? Which is it?

“Well I’d like to heal but you know what, I think I’m gonna turn you into a cancer cell and punish you.”
“Because you became disconnected and started attacking other parts of me, you mister “the group of cells” and you “Ms group of cells” or whoever you are and I wanna punish you now”

no you’re not gonna do that. So what makes you think,
that the creator’s gonna do that to you? If you knew how appalling the attack on your own body in an autoimmune disorder was inside your own body, or cancer, how the consciousness is being played out, the torture, older cells destroying newer cells.

On that level they can’t understand it,
that’s the anger inside the tumor itself. It’s only when you connect to all perceptions at once, being part of them, being part of you, being part of something larger, and everything at once, when you spontaneously heal. What makes you think it’s any different here? in an infinite scale? You need to be able to forgive obviously, the people doing the most horrendous things. Now forgiveness doesn’t mean
you allow them to continue, cause love will always do and guide you to do what it believes is right.

You can’t not lie. Lying is no different than telling the truth. If you intend on doing that, if you intend to do it. When you’re connected to love, you just will tell the truth It’s more about not what you do, but the intent of what you do, which you cannot constrain to rules and guidelines. What is right in one situation with one person may not be right for that person if they’re in a different emotional state, a week from the first time. You cannot remember what is right and wrong. Life offers an infinite possibility of interaction you cannot retain it.

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