I have been told I'm a narcissist.. and ive finally realised it

Ask for Advice
#1

Hello everyone…

Im going to tyoe this message as sincere as possible as I don’t want to fall for any of the old lies I’ve been telling myself.

Cam anyone recommend fields to helps someone recover from being a narcissist. I’m doubting myself as to whether I can even feel genuine emotions. I certainly can’t trust my old emotional states which were so convincing.

I’m thinking the mandelbrot can do a good amount of the work… maybe even all of it alongside therapy… but im open to any suggestions. I’ve also got angelic intercession + and they can help as I receive guidance from them.

Please, no sympathy or positive feedback… I dont want to battle with anything right now as I ground myself in a new reality.

With appreciation (that at least feels real)

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#3

The best (free)

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#5

Try love, acceptance and gratitude fields. They are all in patreon.

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#6

I’m just rebuilding…but I accept what you say… ill continue on in a more authentic manor

@RobbyHa thankyou… of course there’s a fine line between analysing with mental acrobats and self discrimination, or negativity, incessant prodding and poking… and observing with wisdom the truth of each moment… I feel the matter is where I’m at most of the time, that stands alone as something i can take refuge in. It sounds deep but ive got to be deep in order to not be caught on the surface… thankyou

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#8

Not Medical advice.

Popularly understood, narcissism is an excess of self-esteem, but it’s better understood as an addiction to others validating your self-esteem This dependence on others creates the problematic behaviors.

Assuming this is an actual problem for you (first time people read through a DSM they can see easily see themselves in many of the diagnoses), you need to generate your self-esteem internally and cut-off your external supply, at least that obtained dishonestly. There’s plenty of fields: self-confidence, many of the revision fields (especially childhood and blueprint of the past) parental love, etc. There’s also a personal psychologist and emotional supporter. You would still need to break behavior patterns, but that would be easier to do with lower stakes. Probably a good idea to layoff the charisma type fields or anything that garners positive attention from others easily.

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#9

Jumping off of this, but there is a concept called external validation. This concept is what @Replay describes when mentioning validating self-esteem.

One of the problems with this dependence is it can lead to the difficulty of not handling criticism well. This difficulty can come across as not seeing where the other person is coming from.

In short, an empathy gap is a concern in narcissism created by this dependence. Fields that target Empathy would help as you, @Kindfulness1, work on self-esteem.

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#10

I would highly recommend self love and whole acceptance and ego dissolution field.
Narcissism is often by product of twisted beliefs regarding self love and acceptance and clouded ego. Hopefully it helps.

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#11

From a potential Narcissistic guy, I can only tell you this:
Whats the problem?
Be narcissistic, my friend.

However, as it has already been said, External observation isn’t always the most reliable source, since people have a certain idea in their head about you, but they don’t actually know you.

Maybe you are not narcissistic.

Well, as for me, I would be proud to be called a narcissist, lol.

I just love some labels (now, call me fat :joy: and we have a problem)…

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#12

I think the OP is more worried about the harms a narcissist can impose on others rather than an outsized self-image, which can be a problem or a solution depending on the context.

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#13

I agree
Coming from place of self awareness and aligning ones actions with desired belief systems is what matters
Remember its only actions which counts.
Thoughts, emotions, feelings are all mind doings…

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#14

Don’t get too caught up with the title ‘narcissist’. focus on uncovering the unconscious causes for your narcissistic traits and seek to make a change.

This is important. If you want to, read into jungian psychology. nothing advanced, a general understanding of the shadow, the ego, projection and ‘the self’ will go a long way in your journey

for fields, I recommend The Emotional Dampener and Self Love Transcendance

this is a good vid also

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#15

Thankyou for your input

Can I just expand on something you said regarding action is what counts… that in some degree is true but according to The Buddhas Dharma, action is defined by intention, which is a mental.action…

An example, walk across some grass is perfectly 100% innocent, despite the fact you’re killing insects… however, if you intentionally walk sinply to kill the animals it’s bad karma (intention) and will yield bad karmic fruit…

This is purely a buddhist practisioners perspective and part of my own realisations/understanding of The Suttas…

Hope this makes sense?

What you say is right in many ways, we don’t want to give to much thought to resitting negative thoughts, they come and go without much effort… but if we are fuelling them.qith intentional thinking it’s different :slight_smile:
Just my 2 cents…

With love x

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#16

Thanks for sharing your views.

This is something I was always confused for long regarding what is important action or intention.
For e.g if we are sweet and kind to someone on their face but we do not actually like them. What matters in such case. Is it good will or manipulation because other person is happy with me.

After thinking a lot I realised and finalised 2 points for myself. Pls allow me to share without offending anyone.

  1. We have 60k thoughts every day, and I am sure not all are positive or even neutral. This is where act of choosing words, frame, tone, expressions, body language, action etc. comes because the way we construct our actions creates our reality and slowly identity.

If I have bad intentions, but my deeds are noble, I am sure I will receive good back…Now due to my bad intentions it is possible that I do not perceive it as good or desired outcome. Here one of the laws of universe comes into play. What you give out is what you receive.

  1. When action is based on love, it is divinely inspired. Hence its not only our intention, its divinely guidance.

I think its all mystery about absolute truth. What matters is what feels good to our soul and give us peace. Actions are tangible and Intentions can be direction. But we also have divine GPS guiding us.

Love and Gratitude
S

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#17

One thing though,
This term narcissist has been thrown around very generously in recent years, in my opinion, up to a point where anything even remotely selfish is labelled as narcissistic. In this way it can be weaponized by telling an otherwise kind person that they’re a narcissist when they act selfishly once in a blue moon. Dangerous imo.

You can view narcissism as a personality style. It’s not like you suddenly are one and then the next day you aren’t any more. Think of it like 95-100% of the time that person is that way.

Hence if you “have been told by someone you’re a narcissist” that doesn’t really sound convincing to me at all tbh. That person, whoever it is, would likely require to have known you for at least a couple years, and stayed with or near you during the time, to be able to make such an accurate assessment.

So if you say, you realised this, that would mean you have noticed yourself acting only for yourself for years on end, most likely to the detriment of others, and with utter disregard to others.

Frankly, I don’t believe that.
But of course, you’ll know it best in your heart.

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#18

everyone is a narcissist.

which means that everybody lacks unconditional love most of the time and builds a separated ego from scratch, the best they can, to compensate for that lack of unconditional love in an artificial way (we outsource it into conditional love forms to fill the lack).

some people are narcissistically introverted (they cause damage to themselves), others are narcissistically extroverted (they cause damage to others).

i think the best fields to deal with that are crucible of stored trauma, social bonder, blueprint of the past, shamanic medicine blend, triangle of power, probably.

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#19

Btw, how so?

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#20

(i got carried away with this)
everyone is narcissistic, in some ways, which is healthy. We all prioritise ourself at the expense of another person on occasion, because we are not responsible for stabilising someone elses wellbeing. We are responsible for not creating unnecessary stress for other people, but we are also responsible for our own wellbeing. Sometimes, we can all admit, we’ve caused unnecessary stress for other people because of a sense of entitlement

an example could be, a father asks his teenage daughter if he wants to go see a movie at the cinema and the kid says no, so the parent complains, saying she is being unfair for not wanting to go see a movie with him. unbeknownst to him, her boyfriend broke up with him that day and she didn’t feel like talking or going out. The father realises his entitlement and apologises and comforts her.

Narcissism, as in, ‘NPD’ — narcissistic personality disorder, is a term used to refer to people who have a bloated sense of self importance, to the point where it is unhealthy for themself and other people and it is pervasive across every area of life (with family, friends, partner, at work etc). A person who is said to have NPD will struggle to have that empathetic, reflective stage and will instead use methods of manipulation or deflection

#21

Thankyou @toby

Infact thankyou everyone for helping me (and others likely) understand this…

I’m 100% sure I understand compassion… sorry, I am compassionate… I feel the heart move when I see others in pain SOMETIMES… other times I’ve created this fakeness 100% unrecognisable…thanks to my teacher I’ve been exposed.and now I can build up on sincerity, real.compassion and real gracious love…

The mandelbrot is helping significantly…im using the heart and solar plexus ones ar the moment and would highly recommend these audios to anyone… in fact, I think they’re the only “self help” types ones we need:)

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#22

Alchemical blueprint of the past on gumroad by sapienmed

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#23

during infancy a kid moves from biological animalistic needs to human artificial forms of satisfaction.

in other words, a kid learns to manipulate his own energy in ways to satisfy himself through auric gaps. like sucking stuff, his finger or objects.

this is narcissistic in nature because it seeks to aliviate a form of anxiety or angst (gaps within his aura) through tension release (satisfaction that seeks to obturate gaps but only perpetuates them).

later on, this narcissitic movement of energy becomes more organized through personality traits, like always complaining about political stuff, or always seeking to have sex with tons of strangers, or intellectual achievements.

this secondary form of narcissism is ego-based and not directly satisfied through the body, but through abstract activities.

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