Thanks for your advices !
Thank you for taking your time to share with us your though and knowledge, I appreciate that and read everything with great interest, yes indeed, men can do a lot of harms, my post can also be taken in the opposite way, for women that have a hard time finding a man that aren’t there just to have s*x with them and not seeing them as persons with personalities, a history, hobbies, ambition and everything that follows.
I too saw a lot of egoism from them that cheated in front of ME without any remorse and doing it, over and over again, one of the goal of this topic, is not to judge someone by their DNA and gender, but to judge people for who they are, so they can be a man or a woman it doesn’t matter. It’s not the typical “Man vs woman” post where we are arguing about how “women are evil”, but you know.
I have a very hard time with mutual understanding, it’s hard for me to trust people, even my family since I am a kid, I learnt to be silent because apparently, I was too curious, “thinking too much”, I was mocked because of being very empathic and sensible. Too “weird” for people, so I started inhibiting myself to be accepted from others. Many times, I cursed who I was. Today, I love who I am but it doesn’t change the dynamic with other people.
Once I open my mouth being myself, it’s as if they automatically understand, something is “wrong” . What exactly, I would like to know. So generally, I behave as I learnt to be the best in each situation.
Learning is so pleasing, there is always to learn from others indeed, each experience is a gold mine, from the young kid to the oldest person.
I have long terms friends, we can talk about everything, finance, bank, maths, physics, actuality, economy, doing a marathon together or climbing a mountain. I’m really lucky to have met them, they are categorized as “extravagant”, talking to them is easy but talking to others is a different story, they disappoint me and I’m disappointing them too , it’s as if by just a look we understand we have nothing to do together or just limit ourselves to do small talks.
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Maybe that’s okay.
I think it’s unrealistic to expect to get along amazingly with every person, to expect to understand everyone, or to expect everyone to understand us.
It’s a beautiful thought, but I think it adds unnecessary pain
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Today it’s way better than when I was a teenager, it’s chilling mode now, we can’t force friendship. Even if we don’t synergize with everyone, it doesn’t mean we can’t talk with respect or help each other !
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Once I started to think of building myself first and not building others by “altruism”, life was less stressful, as a kid I thought I was a hero and my mission was to help and bring happiness to everyone around me. With time I understood the world wasn’t this good, people were using my kindness to their own benefits.
I lived a lot of things that changed me a lot, day by day, I started to become really bad at some point, not even recognizing myself anymore, absorbing negative energies from energy all day was too weary, listening to them, giving them energy and time, trying to find solutions for all their problems even if I had things really important to do, just to see that they didn’t give a f*ck when I had problems.
One day, I said “stop” and today I don’t consider myself “good” or “bad”, but more balanced as an individual, not letting people eating my good vibrations and put boundaries as soon as there is something that disturbs me. Still helping people, if I want to and doing it for myself, not by fearing disappointing them.
I can only agree with what you’ve said, thanks for your sharing.
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Not sure why quote method not working on mobile for the forum. Used to be able to highlight and press quote
Or am i missing something?
So not going to properly quote
"
kinda sucks today man, some really attractive friends are having difficulty with dating, women seem to be very picky now, that’s why I generally say to not take it personally, you didn’t do anything wrong to be in this position, it’s society.
Yeah my girls litterly told me they only fuck with the ceos, I took it tongue and cheek on f course but still can’t be a scrub
knowledge
Actually the knowledge belongs to the writer. 
May be I’m just a good reader.
There’s no need that you start even a small talk with people around you. Sometimes they are not ready to do so. However you can learn some skills so if you see a proper person by any chance, you won’t lose this opportunity.
Keep it in mind that people have their own lives, problems and priorities. Even each relationship/ friendship has an expire date. In some cases the expire date is set by death. In some other cases with misunderstanding/being very busy/ etc. Let people follow their exit strategies, whenever they choose to do so.
I have a very hard time with mutual understanding, it’s hard for me to trust people, even my family since I am a kid, I learnt to be silent because apparently, I was too curious, “thinking too much”, I was mocked because of being very empathic and sensible. Too “weird” for people, so I started inhibiting myself to be accepted from others. Many times, I cursed who I was. Today, I love who I am but it doesn’t change the dynamic with other people.
My dad has people pleasing syndrome. He had lost his mom at the very young age, and my grandfather was so careless about his children. Maybe my grandfather had another disease or syndrome, such as Potato syndrome! haha! poor potato! 
Anyway, my father was careless about his own family in another way. Sometimes parents make terrible mistakes by ignoring their kids. Anyway today we have means in order to fix different parts of our lives. Even though you love yourself today, try to listen to some fields related to love, traumas,different archetypes, etc. Sometimes the main problem is invisible to us. Give yourself 6 months, listen to some fields, then come back and leave another message here. Share with us what changes you’ve experienced.
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If it doesn’t work for you, copy the message, then type this symbol > twice. Then paste the selected message in front of it. In order to add your own idea, press enter key twice.
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@anon34550888 Thanks, that’s what’ll do, it may be unnecessary suffering and thoughts. It was nice to talk with all of you and exchange ideas. Hope everything turns right for your family and also yourself in life.
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I’ve used to have 5 open relationships before getting into a serious relationship, so I know 1 or 2 things about this.
I used to struggle a lot with women, then I became obsessed with pickup and self-development but it didn’t help.
Then I discovered that it’s all about sexual energy.
The more repressed your sexual energy is (because of cultural norms/morality, as Freud discovered), the more you will struggle with women and confidence or anxiety in general.
You’ve to learn how to move your sexual energy freely and project it freely with no blockages or obstacles.
Once you’re able to do that, just put yourself in social situations, become more social and open to social contexts and you will naturally attract tons of women.
There’s a really nice book named: “The Art and Science of Sexual Energy” which explains how sexual energy and sexual magnetism can be unlocked for everyday life and also for spiritual practices.
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I just looked up the book you recommended on Amazon and it’s got some really bad reviews saying that the book is just a sales plug for the authors courses… pretty sure there is probably better books for this subject matter although I don’t know which… I know Mantak Chia is highly recommended and has some good books for cultivating sexual energy
Do you know the best audios to achieve this? I’m guessing the soul restoration audios? Any others?
Lol so you are interested in a book to the point of looking up the reviews and as soon as you see bad reviews then the book is bad?
It’s had 9 reviews with 45% of them being rated 1/5. Does that not send off alarm bells to you? It certainly does me. Why don’t you go and buy it, then you can let me know how good it is 
Reviews are usually not that good of a parameter for this stuff. Mainly because people are still stucked in common sense advice.
Most men will take and upvote a “pickup lines” book over a book focused on esoteric themes and energy to attract women. It’s because they’re in the “matrix”, in which they think that to attract a chick you must say or do “something clever” (as society had been showing them over and over again through TV shows, advertising, etc), therefore when they read stuff that contradicts their self-evident preconceptions of the world and relationships they get upset and downvote books that do not agree with their own set of unconscious beliefs.
Most of the “best selling and upvoted Amazon books” are self-help useless trash that focuses on developing morals and ideals that end up being counter-productive to goals and they create more unconscious blockages and barriers for everyday life in which you are slave to (they create more morals about what’s good and bad on top of the ones that you already have and are obstucting you).
So, I would recomend you to not focus on what most people and mainstream media want because you will end up being the same as them (stucked and not being able to reach your goals).
The book is good, and I’ve read A LOT of stuff, probably 95% of self-help books and psychology books out there that are supposed to be “the best” and focus on behavioral techniques that do not have any impact on the long term.
Yes, the author has his own business around esoteric charisma and esoteric attraction but that shouldn’t be a problem, you can choose if you want to get involved or not. By the way, he also have tons of free courses you can get engaged with and start to see results by yourself.
This is one of his informational videos, and he had been my personal coach for a few years now:
I resonate with this quite a lot. It manifests as going around and wanting to really get along with everyone, and when I get some kind of negative response from someone it can be really disappointing. I’ve also had this experience of just not getting along with some people and being baffled at what it was about me that was making other people behave negatively towards me, while others were really friendly towards me. It became a kind of obsession, to change myself or improve myself or psychoanalyse myself to figure out exactly what it was about me that was causing certain people to not take too favourably to me. But at a certain point I realized that this behaviour of mine wasn’t natural, it was a kind of people pleasing and validation seeking behaviour that developed in my childhood. The actual reality was, I needed to stop defining my self worth, based on other people’s impressions and reactions to me. And this is what have me a greater sense of free and peace…and of course a massive reduction in anxiety as I wasn’t overthinking other people’s relation to me.
Maybe this resonates with you but there’s a large part of me which believes that if I somehow became a perfect enlightened person then I wouldn’t experience conflict with anyone in this world and that everyone would be nice and friendly to me. But then you realise that the reality is, even if you’re such a person, some people are just going to be angry, or negative or grouchy with you for no rational reason at all, for reasons that have nothing to do with you. So in essence it’s more about them than you.
Hope this helps :) Definitely still working on this area but each bit helps. I’ve found this person’s videos very useful.
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Gonna watch it later; also, I have not read this thread (actually women usually find me attractive, But I have issues, physical and other stuff, so I need to improve my life, in some aspects/areas, then I will focus on relationships).
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Is there fields for stop bein a people pleaser ?
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