Hello friends,
I just realised I haven’t posted an introduction thread, even though I’ve posted a few times over the forum 
Anyway, remedying it now…
So my spiritual journey started when I was 3 years old. I sat in the car and kept wondering, “Who am I?” I continued wondering about the answer and as I grew to about 7 years old, I continuously entered lucid dreaming to the point where I had trouble differentiating reality and dreams. I slammed into walls, thinking it was a dream when it was reality. I jumped onto the tables as a child, disrupting the class because I thought it was a dream. I did all kinds of hilarious and crazy things because I had trouble differentiating it.
One day around 7 years of age, I was watching the raindrops trickle across the car window and it suddenly dawned on me that everything in the world was “colourless”. An atom doesn’t have a colour. Suddenly I entered a strange state where time seemed to become infinite. Since then I slipped into a dark night of the soul, becoming extremely depressed. I dropped games, television shows, etc. It was quite significant as a child, because a normal child would be doing all sorts of things. I literally dropped into a state where everything became absolutely meaningless. I would enter automatic meditations, like my breath stopping suddenly and diving into light.
This all continued until of course, puberty struck and I got into the whole toxic culture of porn and masturbation. I realised that if I masturbated, I could voluntarily “numb myself” from these phenomena. For example, I meditated and left my body in an astral body once. I even went to a relative’s home through remote-viewing and confirmed with her the arrangement of her furniture. Those series of nights, I experienced all sorts of crazy visuals, bolts of lightning blasting through my body, entering partial or full-body orgasms, seeing a sea of faces, and also experiencing an intense fear of death and annihilation. I then couldn’t take it as I did not know what these things meant. So I masturbated and realised that it was a way I could use to stop experiencing these things.
Fast forward, I meditated and suddenly realised that I was cultivating states and possibly some powers, but not cultivating insight/wisdom. This is when I turned to Zen and my teacher. Around the same time, I became close to a spiritual friend who was very experienced in Taoism. The pieces started to fit together. I realised that reaching higher, grounding also had to become firmer, like the roots of a tree have to dig deep in order for the branches to spread wider. Since young, I’ve always had the idea of going to a mountain to live forever. But growing up, I realised that it was not only unfeasible, it was a bit naive. My friend also helped me realise that I had to learn how to live in this world and also excel in the physical world.
I went into the world of hypnosis, subliminals, and then eventually stumbled on morphic field audios. I did have experience with energy transmissions through audios that were shown to me by my spiritual friend, but I’ve never actually heard of audios that carried energies to affect matter. This was really interesting to me, and here I am. Then I see insanely valuable audios like the Meditation audio, Vibration series, Soul Restoration series, Kundalini, etc. Then captain indulged my request for a Hakuin Healing Egg audio. That was really it, I’m here to stay. 
I’m really happy to find like-minded people over here. The subliminal community felt like I was talking to a bunch of underaged, overactive teenagers. Or maybe I’m just an old soul deep inside. I enjoy tea, mountains, lakes and being in nature. Again, nice to meet you guys!
Warmly.
whatever you wanna call it… I still feel as if coming home.
. nonetheless, Where were all of you when I was 6 years old?! 
