Lack of focus/passion/sense of self?

Ask for Advice
#1

Hey guys.

So, I PM’d a member here this morning about something loosely related to this topic, but I decided to bring it to the public forum.

Here’s what I wrote:

Today I wanted to reach out, considering the weird yet interesting space I’ve entered in this phase of my life and I could use some guidance.

Like many, I’ve been afflicted at every level (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.) and I wanted to know what you would personally recommend or advise given my situation. I believe everything starts on a subconscious level and have attempted to identify the source of my troubles through shadow work, meditation, and other forms of energy healing but I still feel like I’ve yet to scratch the surface.

It’s as if part of my consciousness is afraid to venture past a certain point. I say that because recently I had a dream of my childhood home - an occurrence that is all too familiar but in this particular dream, I could sense this palpable fear in myself - afraid to go “outside” of said home. How is one to evolve if they refuse to venture out of their comfort zone?

After this dream, it made me realize why certain aspects of my life hadn’t progressed. Not only stagnating but even regressing in some instances.

So what is it that I can do to liberate my consciousness? How do I free these restricted parts of my soul so they can heal beyond a surface level?

These are pretty heavy questions, or at least I feel like they are, but any advice you have is welcome.

Thanks in advance.

What I spoke of is something I’ve struggled with for a long time, especially since I’ve had my first spiritual awakening. This restrictiveness spiraled into depression, exacerbating my lack of focus (I’ve been sort of a jack of all trades type of person since I was a kid) and draining me of enthusiasm. Things I once enjoyed I either no longer enjoy them or hardly so and I just want to know…

How do I get back to “myself”?

I’ve listened to the chakra audios, energy blockage removal, de-inhabiter combo, curse removal, ego dissolution, devil rx, the soul restoration series, VOL, aura repair, shamanic medicine blend, internal alchemy album etc. to assist in my dilemma and while these fields do help, the effects doesn’t last very long.

What am I missing here?

6 Likes
#2

Hmmm
This is indeed an issue. I’m surprised the fields you listen to don’t seem to give you much effect. How long have you been listening to them if you don’t mind me asking?

Perhaps i misunderstood… Your spiritual awakening has made you feel restricted?

If you feel open enough to share it here, i think what would help is some details about the areas in your life that you feel stuck with.

In any case i can say that it is your ego that wishes to keep you in your current state simply to protect you from what is out there. But that’s the thing, what is out there is probably an adversary greatly exacerbated within your mind. In other words, thinking and dwelling on an issue, brooding it will make it seem unsurmountable.

Now it is possible that you had experienced numerous rejections in your childhood that gradually kept lowering your self esteem. Or it could have been a single isolated issue that spiraled out of control. That’s why the details really matter.

Crucible of the past suddenly comes to mind that you can listen to.

Other than that, your consciousness is the awareness. You can put your awareness on anything, so obviously your consciousness is already and will always be liberated. In fact it just ‘is’ because liberated would imply it was imprisoned before.

I would recommend some things to do though: you can declutter, physical space, mental if you can, but also digital devices, laptop, external hard drives etc. You should feel liberated afterwards.

You can also make a list of goals and habits. When you write it, don’t apply pressure on them. You know don’t say you gotta finish all goals by the end of next month otherwise you’ll feel terribly guilty. That’s not useful at all. Use this list as a reference point. It should simply indicate to you roughly which way you wish you were going. You can also write goals and habits that you wouldn’t dream of doing right now, but perhaps you’d feel really cool if you accomplished them or sth. This exercise should make you feel revved up.

The habits themselves are important too. But don’t try to punch in ten new habits every day starting from tomorrow. You’d feel utterly overwhelmed and no willpower in the world will get you through it.

Another thing you can do is acknowledge successes. You can do this mentally or even write it down. All too often we use our thoughts to beat ourselves up. You can try observing your thoughts for the next 24 hours and you’ll feel utterly shocked i promise. Also the neurons are in that way that you feel this is actually you. But your thoughts aren’t you. They simply perpetuate your current state. So when you acknowledge successes throughout the day, even tiny ones, think in the scale of arranging a bookshelf, calling an old friend, throwing a paper ball into a bin and celebrating it like you just scored a free throw in the last second of a basketball match to win the game - these examples are all kind of silly and may seem meaningless, but what you’re doing is you’re literally building a new foundation so to speak.

A simple walk in nature can re-energize you to a great extent. I would recommend you do it daily. This also helps with groundedness which you need.

That all said, you seem nicely introspective, you’re not afraid to look at yourself and ponder upon what is yet to be done and what is yet to come, so the positive outlook is already set in place.

It’s a complex issue and very possible to be resolved. I believe you’ll regain your enthusiasm in a surprisingly short period of time.

7 Likes
#3

Thank you for such an insightful response.

I’ve been listening to the de-inhabiter combo at least once or twice a week for months now. Curse removal less frequently. At least two or three times a month.

Been experimenting more with ego dissolution for the past few weeks. Even accidentally fell asleep to it one night and had an interesting “dream”. I think I astral projected?

The chakra audios, I use occasionally especially if I feel my energy body needs it. Soul restoration series + aura repair I don’t use as much as I probably should, given some of the people I work with and how taxing their energy can be.

Overall, I think you’re right about some of my problems being fear-based. I realized during one of my shadow work sessions that I have major control issues and perhaps that contributes to the lack of progress in certain areas of my life. Trying to hold onto what “was” instead of embracing what “is”.

Thank you for hipping me to those list exercises. Sounds like a way to bring some much-needed enjoyment into my life. I’ve been taking “the glass half-empty” approach - trying to make up for what I think I’m lacking so this’ll be a change of pace.

You’re spot on about my ego as well. Just the ego in general from what I’ve read about it. How this aspect of ourselves can sometimes hinder us from enacting changes we want to make if we allow it.

And that’s probably why I’ve reverted back to habits that didn’t serve me, because that’s what my ego was most comfortable with - however said habits were what caused me to feel stagnant in the first place.

But the suggestions you gave me are a good start I think. Again, thank you for your help.

3 Likes
#4

And how have you been listening to them? That would be another important bit of information for us to help you with.

This made me think of Regain Your Innocence, which might have been part of your “etc.” If not, I would certainly recommend it to you (absent any additional information you might share with us in response to @Nice2knowU’s excellent questions).

I think it’s important to remember that the subconscious’ job is to keep you alive and safe. It fulfills its important job with the spirit of a tenacious young child, which means that you really can’t strong-arm the subconscious mind. It’s got access to organ systems and resources to make your life uncomfortable if you try to strong-arm it somewhere it doesn’t want to go. And your question (that I’ve quoted here) is sort of doing that strong-arm thing, strong-arming yourself (or your subconscious self) “outside” of said home because your ego/conscious self thinks that’s The Way to evolve.

The nice thing is that you can evolve without going “outside” of said home. For example, a house has windows and I bet said home had windows, even in your dream. If you were dialoguing with your subconscious mind (hard to do by yourself unless you’re trained in certain techniques) you could remember that the subconscious mind has that spirit of a tenacious child, which means you could lovingly coax your tenacious child into another method of evolution that didn’t strong-arm it somewhere it wasn’t ready to go. You could, lovingly, treat it like a child and lovingly guide it past its fears and its misunderstandings. And, if you’ve ever played with a young child, you might know that sometimes this guiding requires a circuitous route.

Another bit of good news is that, thanks to these fields, we don’t even need to do this sort of direct work (although we can do it, if we want to).

The “trap” that I see a lot of people fall into when they use these fields to heal subconscious issues like you’re wanting is that they then look for obvious signs of their healing progress. The subconscious is not the realm of the obvious. It’s the realm of the oblique and the subtle. Because the signs of the subconscious would be in the realm of the oblique and the subtle, when these people then conclude that they aren’t making progress, even if they are and they hadn’t yet noticed the oblique, subtle signs where those signs are.

I’m going to (kindly) suggest that this is a description which really doesn’t serve you, because no one regresses. That would be “stepping into the same stream twice” which, thanks to the famous piece of wisdom, we know we can’t do.

And when you describe your experience (and I understand why you might do so) in a way that defies–say–the laws of the universe and that doesn’t capture what’s truly going on, then the rug really gets pulled out from under you and you think things are happening which cannot happen. So, it’s understandable then why you might feel a little lost and confused.

Are you re-creating aspects in your life which you had once lived before? That wouldn’t surprise me if that’s the case, because almost everyone I know has done some form of that at some point in their life. But they’re not “regressing” when they do that.

“Regressing” then implies you’ve wound the tape back up, erasing all that you’ve lived, learned and developed during the period between the last time you had created that aspect and this present time
that you have created this similar aspect. (Because this is different water now even though the stream bed might appear to be the same to you.) You’re a different person, who has had different experiences and knows different things and has developed different resources (like this forum and these tools), than you were the last time you were in your similar past experience. There’s no regression here.

I’m harping on this some because simply by recognizing how this time is not a regression, you can find the evolution that you’re wanting and, perhaps, the resources that you already have to move towards some place you want instead. And because when you look at your life in a way where “regression” is possible, you create a restrictiveness that’s inaccurate and unhelpful to you, like you were describing.

1 Like
#5

So, are you noticing (as I am) a–how shall I say this nicely?–a certain lack of consistent routine here? This is like the time when I decided I wanted to have a beach body by the time summer arrived in a month. I exercised once or two a week and I stuck my eating plan less frequently. Did I realize my beach body? Well, yes, eventually…by the time the next summer rolled around.

So, I’m going to recommend that you create a program for yourself and stick with it. You could start with the PONR stacks (there are various versions), JAAJ’s Self-Love Stack, something from the Ultimate List of Morphic Field Stacks or gather what’s been personally recommended to you in your various threads and assemble them into a stack using the guidelines found here. And then make a program to listen to them, as you do your other work.

3 Likes
#6

Stronger fields like VOL, I’ve been using sparingly. I’ve had it for at least 2-3 weeks but I’ve only used it on a few occasions, looping it 2 times per listen.

But fields like de-inhabiter combo, I listen to usually at night a few times weekly. Sometimes using the aura cleansing audio beforehand. I typically start most of my stacks with Ego Dissolution if I’m not incorporating aura cleansing.

With fields like Shamanic Medicine Blend, I’ve looped it for however long I feel guided. Usually 30 minutes to an hour then I transmute with Alchemical Internal Crucible a couple of times. Sometimes putting Emotional Release after the blend before transmuting with crucible.

Occasionally, I’ll use the Internal Alchemy series if my energy feels concentrated too much in certain areas. I try not to overload myself with too many fields a day and use the “appropriate” ones that would work together rather than against each other energetically.

Admittedly, I think I’ve fallen into that trap. The more I absorb what you guys are saying, the more I realize that I’ve adopted a flawed perception about my journey. One that’s caused a feeling of ingratitude toward what all I have accomplished, thinking it isn’t enough because I’m always comparing my results to others who seem to be doing better and making more strides.

Which caused these futile attempts to push my subconscious to those lengths before it was truly ready. WOW.

Very ego-driven in nature. Huh. This is all starting to make sense now.

Thank you.

That’s a better way to put it.

I keep encountering people of a similar ilk to others in my past who I thought I’d left behind for good reason but I presume it’s because of something unresolved from the previous relationships/encounters that’s causing this to happen. Something I’m doing consciously or subconsciously to attract these types of people after all these years.

Part of me just wanted it to be over already so I could stop having these unpleasant and rather triggering experiences, but you’re right - it’s not that simple. These things take time - time and patience and recent events led me to disregard both. Because I was just focused on getting what I wanted ultimately.

Your post was very enlightening.

Once again, I appreciate you guys bringing these things to my attention.

#7

I feel you. Have undergone similar stuffs. I just patiently wait for the end of the tunnel and light to shine, because nothing much I could do. One thing for sure, lower the trough, higher the crest. On hindsight, I’m always made to feel, all for good.

3 Likes