A couple of reasons. I write this mainly so that people do not emulate my craziness 
After around 30 years of Tantra, Neigong and Energy work, some involving very drastic practices like getting hit by Lightning, I have gotten to a point where I can handle these energies. I still need to put in at least 4-hours of “work” every day to keep the energy stable and not get overwhelmed as Dream’s fields are very powerful. As much as I like to take credit for all my effort and practices, deep within, I know it is the Goddess who takes over and indulges my craziness and takes care of me out of her unconditional love and compassion. So yeah, haha it is all Her and not this ignorant me. 