Pixel - Act with wisdom, but act

So I’m not sure, but I think fields may have saved my life twice in the past 24 hours. I say I’m not sure because in one instance, I can’t be CERTAIN it was fields other than prior experience. In the other instance, I’m certain it was the field, but I’m not certain the experience saved my life.

So, instance 1, last night. I’d read on the forums that it was a good idea to read into the audio descriptions to figure out HOW the field was producing a result and then determine if you had or knew of “off-label” uses for that same mechanism. As a prime example, there’s a field for sclerosis that works by solving brain/spine scar tissue.

So I see the Alzheimer’s field and notice it essentially gets rid of plaque in the brain. COOL! So I played it, and almost immediately I found myself feeling like someone was pulling a thread out of my chest. There were no unpleasant sensations so I continued to listen to the file. After it was done, I searched the scientific name for the plaque and “heart”. Yeah, turns out it’s one of the causes of those “omg, he was so young and in great health, and just dropped dead from a heart-attack” stories you hear. So, the field might’ve kept me from a future heart-attack.

Instance 2 was FAR more obvious. I was picking up my nephews from school. We’re in Florida and the weather was VERY Floridian today (I half expected it to inject an alligator with PCP’d Tiger Blood and then wrestle it while dressed in a Tutu… yes, that level of Floridian) and has been raining heavily and windy since before dawn. The roads are VERY wet as a result and there’s bits of debris sort of all over. On the route to/from their school, there’s a straight country road with a county dump and some nurseries on it. There’s a dump-truck in the lane next to me and some sedan wasn’t told “Wait your turn” enough as a child because they’re in MY lane as oncoming traffic.

Now, passing is a thing and more power to you if you’ve got somewhere to be and the conditions are ripe for overtaking legally. However, the road’s are soaked and slicked. There’s debris everywhere. We’re both doing the speed limit-ish (45-50) by the time they’re in my lane, and 20 feet is not enough room to go from sub-20 mph to 50, pass the dump truck, and get back in their own lane before they hit me in a head-on collision.

I actually had Ego Dissolution going on in the car and just… flowed. My nephews and I noticed at the same time. No fear (not normal), no panic (not normal), no anger (not normal), and no hesitation (DEFINITELY a new development) just “Oh, that car’s in my lane, but that’s okay, they’re not going to hit me” and this subtle steering correction while actually speeding up to make it in time, but again, no panic, no rush. Just this knowing that I’m fine, we’re fine, and if I just flow, we’ll stay fine. Our cars miss each other by a foot or two and my nephews sort of snap back to real-time reality “did that just almost happen?”. Yes, yes it did.

So yeah, 24 hours, and one of them I’m convinced the more I think about it, would have ended with 1-6 people in the hospital at best had I not forgotten to turn off a playlist while on a routine drive in bad weather.

EDIT 4/11: Just remembered, I had my Confidence, Dominance, and Authority fielded object in my pocket at the time.

EDIT 4/12: Repeated most of the steps again today and think I have a better handle on what happened. I’m driving in conscious alpha. Or at least I’m slipping into it, remaining aware as I do (and lemme say, so fuckin’ cool, been trying for this shit for years). Dunno if it’s the fielded item or audio (only tested with Ego Diss and Plasma Flower Node so far).

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I am reminded of the wise words of my First Mother: “Everyone cheats. If you aren’t cheating, you aren’t playing the game hard enough. But if you cheat, you should be good enough not to get caught.” Dad just liked to say: “Cheat with both hands, and run like hell if they find out.” I think both philosophies have their place.

I love when little synchronicities prop up. I’m reading a fun amateur fiction novel and this came from it. As the quoted character says, I think the philosophy has its place.

So today is apparently a day for all the feels.

Swear to god my brain needs to get on board sometimes.

I know I’m bored. I recognize that the only reason I’m particularly bored at 9 PM on a Sunday is because I’m no longer in the relationship I was in. Sure, I can sit with that for a while and process it. But that is no reason for you to go on a HEAVILY EDITED nostalgia trip.

Ugh, and the near instant response is like a whiny child with an epic “but Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!” Well, at least I know where the feels today are coming from. Gonna go do some more cord cutting, maybe it’ll stick this time :unamused:

It can be frustrating when I believe, at the tail end of a dream, I’ve been given important information, and note I need to look into it when I wake, and the next 5 minutes distorts the word or concept enough that I know what I’m remembering is close but not the same.

I was shown a collection of orbits on a circular stone dial with a bunch of points on it. When I spun it, all of them, for the most part, orbited in an elliptical counter-clockwise pattern (widdershins, love that word). One of them, just one, however, had a very tight circular counter-clockwise orbit. When viewed as part of the whole, it got lost in the noise, but once you saw it, you couldn’t see anything else. A voice said it was Jovaris or Jodaris, something similar, but on a list it only showed “Nadarus” (or something similar). I vowed, in the dream to look it up when I awoke (Stage 1 Lucid Dreaming is pretty common these days, I’m more and more often aware I’m dreaming, but I’m not driving).

Nadrus, Nadarus, Nadarius, Nidarius, etc. None of them, aside from the latter few being associated with Norse churches, brought up anything. And I could tell by the time I was searching that I had the name slightly wrong.

I’m not experiencing a crisis like I need the information now, but very much a “it’ll come back, pay better attention next time”.

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The energy right now is rather insane. I’m being hit with temptations I haven’t felt in months, some for years. It’s like Saturn is gut checking every lesson I’ve ever learned but it’s putting on the heat to make “extra especially certainly sure” I’m sure.

It’s been relentless enough I went all in on an addiction/self-sabotage/dopamine stack today to the point of near overload because of how much just seemed to be pressing my buttons.

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So I think I did something profoundly stupid, though I’m not sure what, but I’m pretty sure I’ve come out the other side mostly unscathed.

I was working on stacks last night and kept getting more and more head pressure and just could not figure out, even after running Autism, how to get it to actually deflate. I was hopped up on energy and found it nearly impossible to go to sleep between that and, I won’t say pain but increasing discomfort for sure.

I fell asleep at some point, and only really got a power nap in. When I awoke, it was worse. I was verging on “ok, there’s no more room left in my head” territory. I drove my nephews to school in silence, trying to calm my inner fears and simultaneously work with my servitors to figure out a way to address it, I felt led to ground it out. The entire process seemed like I was re-digging a river bed out and it just didn’t want to flow. Finally, a bit leaked through, and then it started to (and I just realized as I’m writing this that this sounds a lot like opening a meridian point in cultivation novels, wtf?) speed up.

By the time my 10 minute drive home was over, I had a eureka moment, all of this pressure felt like it was coming from my well-of-dreams/jade pillow in TCM. I did a stirring motion to get it open a bit and give the energy somewhere to go. Oh, it went alright. Within minutes I felt like I was on a roller coaster; I could feel energy just POURING through me to a point of discomfort and I was simply along for the ride. I do regular energy work practices and while I’ve felt energy coming in, this was a river down my core channel, and then equally large tributaries down each leg.

I walked out back and went barefoot and stayed like that, breathing deep, calming breaths, for about an hour before it finally let up. By the time it was finally over, so much energy had come through that I was exhausted, my hips ached, and right now the only sign it even happened is a minor sense of weakness in my body and what feels like a sore muscle just to the right of my spine in line with the upper-third of my shoulder blade.

If anyone has any idea what might have caused all this, please let me know.


I’m playing with the idea that while I likely played with fire that ended me up in that situation, I was being rewarded, warned, and tested all at once. I’ve historically been very pain/discomfort/fear adverse; it’s something I genuinely feel like I’m on the back half of now. The experience was as awesome as it was terrifying in the moment. My inner fear was panicking and distinctly a separate voice throughout the process, constantly telling me to just call on whatever (literally whoever would answer) to fix it, or to stop using fields, or to give up energy work, etc.

This was within 24 hours of me realizing and deciding to walk in the direction of building a significant portion of my life around energy work and fields as a whole. I was super proud of myself that I wasn’t afraid and that it didn’t take a crisis to get me to make a decision. Oh, but it did. Because when I woke from my nap, worried that I’d had overgrowth (ala Brain Guild), or I’d damaged my nervous system beyond repair, I realized I still wanted to proceed. I just need to figure out what happened, how it happened, and if it’s relevant, why (I find that why isn’t nearly as relevant as we try to make it. It can be supremely important, but more often than not, it’s not as essential as I try to believe it is).

It may have been a fear test; my higher self saying “Ok, this is what you wanted, remember that” and handing me something that would historically have made me back off. But here I am, feet grounded, listening to JAAJ’s Daily Self Love stack and occasionally throwing in some Shungite Shake to ease myself. Not because I’m trying to push, no, after my daily stack I’m done for the day. But because as terrifying as it was, I also had more connections, and have helped more people important to me since I started my journey. Doubly so since I started on the journey of self-love (I looked in the mirror last night and smiled at myself, fucked up teeth and all, and thought it was just amazing the amount of progress I’ve made in a year and a half).

I can’t say I won’t ever stop, not yet, but I’m far more interested in digging further in than contemplating fear and failure. That’s enough for now I think.

Much love and gratitude to anyone who can help me shed light on what happened, not even so I can avoid it, but so I can add that data point to my experience.

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It might have been Kundalini?
It can be mind shattering.
Idk.

Or too much energy work, too many fields maybe, an overload…

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I wondered, but it seems like such a cop-out; it seems everything’s freaking Kundalini these days. Also, the energy was atop and in my head, flowing down, not coming up from the base of my spine.

When I was first grounding it out and “digging out the channel”, it actually halted at the base of my spine and REFUSED to connect to my Root for a handful of minutes. Once I bridged that last gap, that’s when the river rush started.

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It might’ve been a combination. I went well past my daily field limit without realizing it because I was trying to build stacks for audios I haven’t really tested/categorized yet, so I was in full ADHD hyperfocus research mode. I literally JUST finished Round 1 of the Energy Awareness Course, and I had an all over body cleanse during my Dao Yin practice that night.

I think it centers on my occipital lobe chakra (well of dreams) because once I finally opened that up the tiniest bit, all the energy started draining.

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Muwahahahaaha! So. I mentioned my experience yesterday came with a side of overwhelm and I spent the day kind of gently mentally poking my nerves to figure out how bad it was. I still have no real idea but it felt I was around a 5 from 1-10.

And I wasn’t all that happy about that but I decided “this is the way things are, I’m being asked to wait again” and I got back “no you’re not, you have everything you need to open the door, it’s just closed”. Well wait a damn minute, wtf? I have fields and, well my Daoyin but no that’s a slow build, hmm, star reiki, no, and then it hit me, my whole journey to fields has been centered around audio and energetic based healing and TCM.

Well, I’m not deep enough on the TCM side to prod at my nerves, so I looked into the audio/energetic healing side. Light Language. I’d found a fair few practitioners of Light Language, that if nothing else about the modality, they were using their voice to genuinely channel their intent beyond conversation. So I fired up one of the creator’s with the largest library, found their body healing series which addresses the nervous system and grabbed a few others from them, put it in a playlist with grounding and auric repair… and I gotta tell you, I’m not at a 100%, but I felt real-time relief and woke up today down to a 2-3. Enough of a reduction that no, I’m not being asked to wait, just proceed with lots of resting.

So VLC finally pissed me off enough that I decided to move to Glazba on iPhone. I still don’t know which replacement would be best on PC.

That being said, in my Joe Pesci-esque from Home Alone rant, I deleted all the files in the VLC folder to make space on the phone to just re-download to Glazba. And the playlists. ALL. disappeared. As they should. But now I’m hunting down posts in the forum “where’s that pre-stack, omg where’s that brain stack” and since I didn’t perform “best practices” when I first found them… :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

I decided yesterday to start on some workout stacks. Nothing crazy, I’m coming from being obese and though I’ve lost a lot of weight and size, I’d like to see the best version of myself in the mirror after a shower.

That being said, holy hell can I overdo some stacks. 5 hours for my first revision. 5 hours and MOST of it was all the grounding and healing and make sure there’s enough stem cells, and oh, that’ll probably help and :exploding_head:

On the plus side, aside from the Soleus workout really pointing out an energy blockage in the outside of my right calf - which we both know I originally thought was a blood clot sigh, more amygdala work coming up - the workout went fairly well. My refractory is going to end up being way better with all the deep healing fields for post-workout. More than that, I’m just doing the generalized systems (cardio, automated workout) to kind of raise the floor so to speak. By that, I mean I’ve had the thought that all of us are more or less a triangle of Mind, Body, Spirit and we’re generally oriented towards one or two specialties. I’m more likely Mind and Body than Mind and Spirit, but I’ve let my body fall severely behind. At this point, I think I’ve done enough general healing to actually start to actively work on body and elevate it further.

Wish me luck.

sings

I don’t wanna, but I could
I don’t wanna, but I should
I don’t wanna, I definitely could
I don’t wanna, that’s why I probably should

Important song for habit forming. serious face Verrrrrrry important.