Hello, I’ve opened several topics on the forum about my physical and mental problems until now and a lot of kind and good hearted people helped me. Especially Uial helped me with all my problems, I constantly bothered him about the problems I have and he has always been thoughtful. He suggested stacks every time and was nice to me.
I am 21 years old and have been in a void for my whole life. My childhood passed with trauma, humiliation and beatings. I was brought up very badly. I became an insecure, asocial, depressive, confined person. I was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder when I was 13-14 years old. Since then, I have used antidepressants but I saw no effect other than making me like a robot and numb. Antidepressants have impaired many of my bodily functions, most importantly hormones and the nervous system and anxiety, depression, panic attacks… I feel worse than have ever felt in recent months. I feel alone, hopeless, sick. I have done nothing to live this life. I feel really bad financially, spiritually and physically. All I want is to live and love. I have never experienced father’s love, mother’s love, brother’s love. I sent e-mails to many charity organizations to help me but they didn’t even reply. The reason I opened this topic is to ask help from good people. I want to get rid of the house i live in, I want to live, I want to experience love, I want to be safe and not alone and want to heal and to be with good people. I need all your support brothers and sisters. I want to reset my life to start all over again, but I have no strength. I’m thinking of suicide and I’m scared at the same time because I don’t know what will happen, maybe I’ll live the same horrible life again with reincarnation, maybe I’ll go to hell because I committed suicide. Maybe there is no other world, I don’t know. I need someone who can take my hand and lift me up and put me into life and take care of me. I need any suggestions and help you may also suggest, as you know, helping charity organizations that help young people like me.
Please understand my situation brothers,sisters. I am so desperate and hopeless. I need to fix my life. Stress and loneliness are slowly killing me. Please save me from this dark hole