it took me some time to realize that my endocrine system was systematically abused by myself during childhood and adolescence.
this is bad, because, as i’ve readed here and experienced myself, the endocrine system is at the root core of the chakra system and also caused some form of bipolar disorder.
i’ve used to abuse from my sphincters for mere unconscious satisfaction until i was 18 probably.
i stopped at 18 partially, but my endocrine system was already messed up by then, which caused all sorts of anxieties and problems in all my chakras.
luckly i’m able to see this now and endocrine system field plus “PTSD help” from patreon had been of great help to deal with this:
also, thank you @DR_MANHATTAN for making me realize the importance of the thyroid/endocrine system and its relationship to anxiety.
i’ve been using brain fields but forgot completely about this.
and now i’m experiencing a deeper voice and less anxiety in public.
i’ll focus on endocrine system + brain fields for a while.
i’ve been focused too much on abstract and conceptual fields, which are great but cannot seem to tackle these long-lasting issues i had been having from childhood.
i cannot enjoy having an attractive personality and charisma if my whole body rushes and adrenals get me super anxious every time i’m performing an specific task.
since i’ve started rising vibe high through many weeks of semen retention and audios, i noticed that my father came a long a lot and intercepted me in a vacuum many times without announcing himself.
last time he messed up my root chakra but it got solved by wearing a shield on my pocket.
this time he messed my sacral chakra while i was distracted trying to make a playlist for my grandfather in recovery.
i felt a huge hole in my lumbar area and a tremendous spike of pleasure pain going crazy through all my kundalini. a huge damage. then i became very drained and weak for many hours.
i don’t know how he does it honestly because no one else has this ability to destroy my aura this way.
this stuff sucks, i’m considering heavily to let go of my family and live somewhere else.
i try hard to help them but what i get back is attempts to low my vibration as low as it can get.
he already did it with my brother, making him mentally ill. now he seems like he’s going after me.
i’m starting to use fk audios again, which seem to create huge retribution and damage towards people wanting to ruin me.
this at least keeps me more safe during daily life.
i’ve noticed that this thing he does on my energy body then allows him to break my personal space, give me orders and also touch my body and manipulate it as an object.
i’ve noticed that this is something that also happens with parents of psychotic people, they seem to manipulate the bodies of their sons as objects too.
it’s a mind control that weakens you and reduces your subjectivity to an object of other people’s will.