random thoughts
Be a man
Be a woman
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Be
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Is there a way to externalize the shadow and exploit it?
Iām going to explain a bit. The way I understand it, my shadow could have a lot of knowledge about how to manipulate people (e.g.), and with the right approach, I could just get to leverage that to my advantage.
On the other hand, I see embracing the shadow as all that self-love stuff where there is not a single chance Iād ever manipulate anyone.
I could attract chances and even end up in the right circumstances. But itās still inferior to the power the shadow could wield.
Or do I understand all this wrong?
Xanax
Sexual energy is so fucking OP. Iāve been clean from PMO for like October 25+ or something then I noticed itās NNN so I thought, why not take up the challenge?
Fast forward to now, I spam Ojas and microcosmic every day just to not fall into temptation lmao. Usually, I relieve myself (if itās really too much) by masturbating but even that is not allowed. Iām also using Testosterone fields, androgen, stoic masculine from QI, Goat, and Quantum Love. Basically, fields that would directly and indirectly make you a horndog, also Iām 20 so Iām at my most horny age.
The benefits? Like I said, its fucking OP, I just finished a project from school for 7 hours straight. I had flu-like symptoms and a headache but even that didnāt hold me back ( I can feel them but itās too weak lol). This transmuted energy is like unlimited, itās basically cheating at this point.
Iām playing with fire here lol, using fields that would increase sexual energy and transmuting it for schoolwork and other stuff. Hope I donāt fail and also I hope even after December porn would be no more in my life. I really need to get my shit together, if I fail at this small stuff then I donāt think Iām worthy of what Iām trying to manifest. So yeah, bring it on.
(Actually, I ran out of schoolwork because I finished all that to distract myself (and use the transmuted energy) so Iām prolly in trouble tomorrow jk lol.
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I swear if I open videos like 5 or 6 times in youtube there is no ads. They just want you to stay on the screen for 10 wasted seconds or smth.
Still less time than watching the 2 obligatory ads xD
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Compliance conditioning. They count on you eventually accepting their paradigm subconsciously. I just go for Premium and forget about ads. I can use ad blockers, sure. But itās still the same idea. Their platform, their rules. Iād rather make the conscious choice rather than feed them the negative energy from my disdain towards ads.
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The shadow has all the abilities you rejected as well as all the aspects of yourself you denied. There is no completeness without integration.
So sure, it can have that ability. It can have other stuff too.
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when you open your third eye, you will see that the problem is in you and not in the world around you
I went for pro too. I prefer this over having to update filters etc all the time. + Wd get to download videos and play in background when using phone
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I am not a fan of ads, so I also use pro. Makes for a nicer experience all-around.
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I understand this. But thenā¦how are there people with no self-love, no inner balance of any kind, traumatized, etc; with high skills, that they use consciously?
Have they integrated their shadow somehow? Only a part of it? What they do consciously isnāt really what matters but what their shadow makes them do?
I see the shadow work as part of self-love if not self-love itself. The people that have gone through that journey seem to be pretty fine compared to common or āsocially powerfulā people.
So, the skills of psychos, narcissists, etc, comes only from their knowledge? They donāt have like a fragmented personality or externalized shadow they leverage?
So, say I stop myself from doing certain things (such as manipulating others). But I also have ārationalā justifications to make an exception in a certain case and want to do it. Thatās why what I wanted was something like āhey shadow letās do thisā. If I integrate my shadow, Iād just go and do it in this case?
I just canāt imagine myself doing ābadā things once I integrate my shadow. Even if this concept of bad may have been what created it.
Am I creating the shadow just to have occasional justifications?
Man this is confusing.
@anon51920386 I appreciate the advice. I will try to do it writing things down and reflect more on them. Iāve done both, but separately. I definitely need to write things down this time.
Please, excuse my lazy writingā¦not a good day for my brain.
Actually, youāre the only person Iāve seen mentioning doing other things with their shadow besides integrating, clearing or releasing. I totally blame you for this flight of fancy 
So Iād appreciate it if you shared more shadow intel.
Who do you honestly ask for help?
Aliens.
I donāt believe in them