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I just realized Iāve been praying as two halves (masculine and feminine), them being golden and silver. And never realized the connection with mstate gold and silver. Maybe whatever Iām seeking with my two halves I could get with that field.
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There is a certain amount of Jealousy/Envy in my heart/mind, whenever I see someone being better than me or doing better or having more success, etc.
Before, I was only envious of rich people lol, but now Iāve expanded, I donāt care about them (much lol), but I do care about how someone has a finer mind or a better charisma, more success than me, etc.
Now, dont get me wrong, I do NOT dwell on these lower vibes, but I do acknowledge their existance.
Thereās still a part of me who sees success, power or knowledge as being thresholds in this worldā¦
Although I do see the soul behind the curtain, I acknowledge the Divine within others behind the masks, still, Iām stuck in the Ego loop.
I donāt even know how my Ego works.
I have an old friend (not from the forum) who thinks that Iām full of myselfā¦ And maybe I am,
YET, this game of superiority and inferiority, yeah itās an ego trap for sure, but I wonder, do I feel more superior or inferior (?), than/compared to others ā¦
Whats the driving mechanism (?)ā¦
Maybe Survival, and the rest are details lol.
If youāre asking me what I wantā¦
There quite the wishes, I do want to achieve success on multiple fronts and I think I havenāt even seen my potential, nah, on the contrary, I only am aware of a little bit of what I am and what I can doā¦
Iāve seen too little of me, way too little earthly/material success.
Of course, I feel Iām much smarter and overall wiser than before, also healthier too, thanks to fields and other things.
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Maybe itās because I identify too much with my story.
I know that
Anyway, so there is no end of the world scenario, as each life/incarnation is a stepping stone, a story to make My True Self even Better.
Anyway, enough complaining and drama lolā¦
No one cares anyway.
Each person has their own troubles to solve and aspirations to fulfill.
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Cya later.
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Cows have been appearing in my life lately LOL. what is cow message?
Someone close to me painted a cow recently because theyāre obsessed with cows. I purchased a cow accessory for her birthday this weekend. My coworker has been wearing cow print for the past two days, and weāve discussed the joy of cow. and now your honorary cow post Rocket. 
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Perhaps Hathor is calling out to you
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Idk, but you have to pay attention to more details, like color(s), circumstances (any words or things being mentioned besides the cow).
From a dictionary of dreams I found out like how the cow looks is crucial, although Idk if this applies to you (you didnāt mention dreaming about them).
Usually it has to do with mother, motherhood, feminine energy or stuff, etc.
In the Dream, if the cow is sick, it means bad things, if sheās fat, itās a good thing, it can mean prosperity, well-being, abundance.
White color is good, red one is fury or madness, etc.
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I just feel empty on the inside.
If I were to describe the vibe of my life, itād be this music piece in a nutshell lolā¦
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Hmmmmm! Thank you!
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Interesting! I will pay closer attention. Thinking back, most of these conversations were about just loving cows . The painting was of a cow with a crown on her head. Iāll see if there are any emerging topics surrounding the cow mentions to get a better understanding
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A trusted psychic could illuminate more than I could though, if you want to explore it deeper
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Thanks, I suppose this means I should look deeper into it myself, since Iām usually the person people call about these things. Hehe.
Letās see whatās spokenā¦.
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Emptiness can also mean there is unlimited potential, to fill your inner world with whatever you want.
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An incoming message about receiving the blessings of nourishment of a basic material path. Lots of āmilkā being mentioned, ie the foundational building blocks to deep nourishment. Iām being reminded I did ask and pray for a strong foundation and continued nourishment in my foundation, and that lately Iāve been drinking a lot of milk which I havenāt considered until now. A very peaceful and serene offering, which is very nice. Hathor, goddess of abundance? Thatās how Iām seeing her coming to me. With abundance and flourishing fields from seeds sown.
Thank you for ultimately reminding me to look into it myself
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Could my essence symbol in dreams be a person? Could I decide what that symbol should be and impose it? I find it difficult to figure this symbol thing outā¦guess it doesnāt follow common logic. May be like oneās ātrue nameā.
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I totally donāt get that 
But I guess I suffer it 
Aye man gotcha now. Thanks for explaining ^^
Yeahā¦in Dodson levels there is a level that doesnāt go beyond the mind. With natural authority. Literally the ivory tower levelā¦I wanted to cap there xD
These are some pointers about that energy bracket in general, not the specific ānatural autorityā:
This level does not necessarily feel the urge to make progress or move up the scale. Should he nevertheless wish to progress he can do so with creative work, meditation, learning the various arts and sciences of life and moving from mere interest in life to love of life.
Despite the high level of focus, the low 400s lack emotional highs gained through appreciation, love, imagination which are to be found in the high 400s and 500s. The weakness of the low 400s is Relativism and Postmodernism. The āIām OK, youāre OKā and āAll viewpoints are equalā attitude, as pleasant and open minded as it is, can prevent one from taking higher responsibilities, going into subjects in depth or perceiving Divine Absolutes.
I realize how ironic it is to post this as Iām falling into the collecting info trap.
Yeah Iāve done that tooā¦didnāt end wellā¦I was hoping there was some spiritual scapegoat cause biologically/psychologically weād be fucked.