Spirituality and Sex - Respectful and Insightful Discussions Please

The Social Lounge Life
#1

we’re a group of souls with an infinite amount of perspectives.

i invite everyone to be open to their duality and choose to see the other as a part of yourself to invite loving interactions in this thread.

ask each other questions.

respect each other’s points of view and don’t force anyone to change their mind.

why do you do or not do masturbation?

why do you do or not do being with one soul for the rest of your life?

why do you do or not do being free to choose whoever you wish to have sex with?

why are you for or against the pornography industry?

i’m playing with words so if my grammar is in/correct that’s on purpose. one way i can ask these questions is to word it however i see fit.

please be careful with your words and be as honest and transparent as possible. what you say here will be seen by others for them to relate and connect with you.

if it helps, place yourself back in elementary while a teacher is supervising you. do your best to make friends with everyone in the classroom!

:rose:

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#2

I don’t - or rather try no to - masturbate, because I feel that my sexual energy and the nutrients of my semen should be reporposed for something other than ejecting it into the void. Also, in my opinion it is a transgression of nature, because if any other creature was “horny”, they wouldn’t consider mastrubation as the first cure. They would instead use that horniness as a motivation to find a sexual partner to unite with and reproduce offspring. (I did research whether animals masturbate and while yes some do, it isn’t very common, and those who do don’t do it nearly as often as humans)

It is my goal to do so, because one of the things I lack and desire in my life most at this moment is companionship, in a romantic and sexual form (but mostly romantic)

I choose to choose. Because I think everyone should have the freedom to decide who their right partner is, and who is best suited for them. If people only settled with what was given to them, rather than seek out what they wanted, they would lead a rather mundane and empty life.

I am against it, because if masturbation isn’t a regression of nature, than porn certainly is. Also, word on the block is that porn is “cursed” with negative entities and draining cords that attach to you.

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#3

I won’t lie, i find myself having excessive energy over there but i try my best not to masturbate, but if i come close, I’ll try to shift to penis exercises instead. I don’t wanna release anything though as it could start a bad habit cycle that leaves one feeling rather lethargic.

It would be ideal i guess. But then there’s free will. I think one person can vibe with many people tho, so it’s fine

They would have to want it too. It differs for men and women. I think it was the dating book by mark Manson in which there was a question to men, if they stood in a shopping mall right now and had a look around, with how many women would they want sex with if it’s safe, consented and private, without any harm and beneficial to either. And the result was sth like 90%. But women are probably close to 0%

I guess it’s probably ok from time to time, but it’s the same danger of entering a bad habit cycle, plus there are many many weird categories to watch

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#4

I don’t.

First because it was linked with PMO (which wasn’t proving quite healthy). Secondly, because I felt like I was going anywhere. Thirdly, it was a means to deal with my creativity. I had too much energy build up by default, and that behavior was just to try and “settle it”, rather than exploring it.

After i stopped with it completely, my life really did change lots. I got back into my “gifts”, a vision of who I wanted to be and what I can do popped up. Also, I was destined to meet you guys years later ahah :grin: that is the most important one.

(this is too long already… Next question)

I actually “crave” a partner in a sense. I mean, two brains are better than one. If you can find someone special, with whom you can establish a meaningful relationship, I believe it is worth exploring.

I value honesty, trust, intelligence, those are the traits that usually caught my eye. Oh, and people’s eyes. Since I went on Celibacy I always look into people’s souls through the eyes to grasp who they’ve been, who they are, and occasionally a few glimpses of who they’ll become (I’m not that psychically gifted yet… And been off the IPF for a while)

I didn’t quite understand the question. Means choosing or not the person to have sex with? How so? @psynergy
I’d rather choose in my life rather than anything else, and I’m inclined to believe that we may have chosen way more than we realise.

You happen to know my stance regarding this, my friend :blush:
Anyway, in my personal case, I was a way lesser person than I am today. Goals wise, accomplishments wise, vision wise, relationships wise… And most importantly, I looked older and way less energetic, when I was into the industry, rather than off of it.

I believe I interpreted all the questions correctly, if not, let me know.

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#5

If I did, it would be because I wanted to.

Meaning getting married or forever type love ?

I need a connection with someone to have sex with them. Otherwise it’s just playing billard with my genitals.
I like deeper relationships and building on them, the ROI increases overtime.
Having a partner (not just a fling) is awesome and starting a family is a must as far as I’m concerned (meaning, I like children, I want to raise my own biological offsprings, get grand children and eventually transfer my knowledge and wealth to them, keep growing that long chain of Weiss generations) having a long term partner makes that easier though it’s not an obligation

Free to do it, but not obligated. I can keep it in my pants, being horny or sexually attracted is not enough IMO. Sex is not « just sex », not just like taking out the trash or something you do with friends IMO :man_shrugging: I’m not a chimp, at that point I’m emotionally invested in the girl and I want to keep her around for other non-sexual activities. Sex is just one part of a relationship, the rest takes time to develop. Relationships takes time, it’s like good wine.

I’m an adult, sex is something people do, this is entertainment, kabuki. It’s not like it’s not fun to watch.
I could say inside the Porn industry, their portrayal of sex is too cold, not sensual enough. Most of the time, it’s not believable enough, if the actors could have more chemistry or at least pretend that they love each other, one man and a women having a mental connection… but I guess they’d go crazy… still, the scenarios are creepy. Anyway, not against adult entertainment itself.

Spécial word, about the energetic stuff. I’m not losing myself in it, I know it’s not «real ». I have cord cutters, grounding, ojas, brain regeneration and I’d use those anyway.

Hey, in my opinion, it’s better to jack off 10 min sometime then spend hours everyday obsessing about not jacking off. Rub one out and move on with your life.
I also don’t feel anything unusually alpha or attractive from people doing nofap.

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#6

Okkay i’ll join in but i have a feeling it will be a bit nonchalant :smiley:

I don’t really care, I don’t think it’s like… a major thing in life. Kind of like “Why do you wear white socks and not black today?”
I don’t really do it though because when I don’t have a partner after a few weeks I think less and less about sex. And then when I do have a partner then i think about it more and more (up to a point i guess) lol.

I don’t really have n opinion on this. I used to certainly not want to be married etc. when i was a kid, i’m starting to change my mind… Now i don’t have a strong stance. it depends on the partner as well, i don’t want to start a family for the sake of it or to not be alone or because i’m getting older.

Maybe it’s my english because people answered, but i don’t understand this question :sweat_smile:

I don’t think there is anything wrong or sinful in watching porn, but i am against the industry.
There is a small minority of actors/actresses that actually just like this job for whatever reason. Then the majority just carries a lot of trauma and do it as a last resort out of desperation or because they were naive and made some stupid decisions.
Usually the people who profit are not the ones doing the shitty jobs - they’re taken advantage of and thrown away, left without dignity and prospects and it’s often a downward slide from there. Of course there is a more “glamorous” side with famous actors/actresses but that’s a small part of the industry.
Plus there is also a bunch of borderline illegal stuff on the sidelines of the industry and the legal stuff works to hide it to a degree, but that’s a topic on its own.

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#7

Amen

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#8

I honestly think the real question here is “do you want children ?”
If you don’t, why worry about that. So much pressure and uncertainty. Doesn’t make sense. Same with marriage, if you don’t want to have children, why get married ? To have fancy party ?
It’s a legal contract, it’s no joke. It’s an union, you mix your properties, you get obligations etc… If you just want love, sex and hug someone gazing at the sunset while sipping wine. Don’t chain yourself.
If people want to stay with you, they will. If you want to stay with them, you will.
If we haven’t been together for a while, have no plans to start anything more than a romantic adventure. I don’t want to hear about the next 2 years, it’ll happen if it happens.

But if you want to launch a venture with someone else to create life and share the responsibility for a real living person who depends on you. It makes sense if that person sticks around and anticipate longer than next year’s vacation. Even more so if you got a LOT of assets. If you’re gonna share your property and transfer it to them, if you want the trust of blood, set up a financial trust, share your coat of arm and motto… be a family. Then it makes sense to look for more than GF/BF IMO.

If people have no skin in the game, they can’t ask big things from you. You don’t have to help out their family or deal with their (big) personal issues beyond what you’re comfortable doing. No need to commit more than you need to.

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#10

thank you everyone for those who have participated and to those who have read the comments!

this question was more of a counterpart of the previous question:

  • why do you do or not do being with one soul for the rest of your life?

a better question i could ask is:

  • do you see yourself as more monogamous, polyamorous, or somewhere in-between?

i bring this up as i know that many here are outspoken on having a deep connection with as few souls at a time as possible. but this is the real world where all perspectives are free to be expressed. are there forum goers who have experiences with being in more than one romantic and/or sexual relationship at one time?

as someone who has been on both sides of the fence of this spiritual sex topic, i feel like both can be healing and both can be damaging. in my personal experience, the Buddhist’s teaching of taking the Middle Way has been my guiding light towards my learning and growing in my own sexuality.

as far as i’ve read in our discussion, am i understanding correctly that for many of us view sex as connection and not about feeling good? or is it a bit of both?

here are a few more questions to continue the discussion:

  • what challenges in sex and/or your sexuality have you overcome?

  • has your sexuality changed from the beginning to now?

  • how do you learn about sexuality? through personal experience? books? media? forums? etc?

i’d like to thank everyone for continuing to uphold the loving and thought-provoking energy of this thread!

let’s keep the discussion flowing!

:rose:

bonus question:

do you identify with a sexual label?

  • bisexual
  • heterosexual
  • homosexual
  • pansexual

just naming a few common ones, but there’s definitely tooons out there.

feel free to share!

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#11

The porn industry is the cocaine of the 21st century. But this time it is free, accessible everywhere and social accepted. One of most dangerous drugs ever created.

If anyone still believes that “porn is okay” then they should become aware of the energetic stuff that happens when one uses this drug:

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#12

  • may i ask if this is because of your personal experiences with porn?

  • may i ask if this is a source you fully trust?

  • how does it make you feel when watching this video?

these questions are optional so please share what you’re comfortable sharing.

as i began this topic, i feel like it is my responsibility to also play devil’s advocate so that the thread in its entirety doesn’t become an echo chamber of everyone just agreeing with everyone else.

my intention is to only keep the discussion open and for every viewer and reader to feel safe enough to read and post in this thread.

please don’t mind me as i re-iterate myself to maintain harmony and understanding during these interactions.

:rose:

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#13

First, I’d like to preface by saying that I don’t really have taboos and am very comfortable discussing such topics but it’s not always comfortable for others to have a woman do so. If that’s you, you have been warned :P

MASTURBATION (never wrote this in all caps before!)

To me masturbation (and sex) are just as natural as any other bodily function. I see it a bit like hunger, if one eats quality food to be satiated when hungry it’s healthy. But not when constantly wanting or thinking about food, even when full.

It’s possible that it’s different because I am a woman, as it doesn’t seem to deplete me, to the contrary. I tried abstaining and transmuting the energy but didn’t find it more useful than connecting to source energy during meditation, actually it seemed to dull sexual energy more than anything after a while.

SOUL/CHOICE

I used to joke that my perfect arrangement would be to live next door to my boyfriend. I’m an extrovert-introvert in so far as I am very social but I need to recharge my batteries alone, in silence. Also, freedom is very important to me but so are accountability and honesty and I didn’t want to disappoint or hurt anyone, as I was very aware that what’s usually required from a relationship are things I wouldn’t be happy living with. Lastly, I discovered early on that monogamy was not for me and not a compromise I would ever want to make again. To me sex is not complicated, it’s just a wonderful activity that you do with people you have affinities with. As such, I was happy with the notion that I’d spend my life with meaningful connections but not a spouse per say. However, 8 years ago my best friend and I fell in love and to use gaming terms, our character sheets fit so very nicely that I get to have my cake and eat it too haha. With honesty (including self-honesty), respect and care about the other person’s happiness, life at two turned out to be oh so fulfilling, exiting and delicious. The compromises never feel like an impediment to my freedom.

So I am spending my life with one soul in an open relationship. I personally am attracted by someone’s personality and it’s that that makes me find them beautiful and not really how they look (someone good looking I haven’t talked to is just like looking at a painting). So I guess I have one love of my life and many other people I have love for haha.

PORNOGRAPHY

For me, the issue with pornography is not the concept per say, as I find there is nothing shameful or wrong with any form of consensual sex, be it private or filmed. I just think that an industry can only be as healthy as society’s attitude towards what it encompasses (in this case sex) and I personally find our relationship with sex generally very unhealthy. The notions of sin, as well as the saint/whore complex around women are so archaic, filled with fear-based lies and so very damaging that so long as this is not resolved, it will be difficult to have any form of meaningful and fulfilling careers (I include sex workers in this).

As for myself, I used to love porn and I sure would love to love it still. But through my events’ production company I came to help for a few years with an AVN after party and it opened my eyes. It was just like the meat industry (pun not intended), once I knew the seedy underbelly of it, I couldn’t really enjoy it anymore. I have had to live a period of grief for both, hahaha.

So I am not against pornography itself, I am rather for the evolution of our perceptions and attitudes towards sex.

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#14

you beautiful soul!

thank you for expressing yourself and as much as i am going to do my best to be neutral, your words are quite refreshing to read and filled my heart!

i really do feel that masculine and feminine views of sex can sometimes be on both sides and sometimes opposite sides of this topic!

this has been my experience and i’ve definitely tried months before i realized allowing myself to ‘eat’ improved my life as a whole.

it’s great that for others, abstaining from masturbation makes them feel confident. however, i have been given more and more positive and ideal attention from everyone when i listen to my body and it’s needs.

i have less and less thoughts about sex because i allow myself to put all of the sexual energy in a safe time and safe setting for exploration. my creativity has been up and up.

maybe others lead with their mind and logic, but i listen to my body and each cell has a say in the direction we take. when i listen to each cell of my being, i feel even more myself than what anyone else can tell me i should be doing to feel how good i feel now.

exactly! i have definitely seen videos where it is shady at best whether consent was communicated. there are a lot of before and after experiences everyone goes through in the making of porn.

there have definitely been videos full of love that i was grateful to be a part of. this probably labels me as a voyeur, but i do adore all forms of film!

it also really helps confidence and performance. like aspiring actors/actresses studying their role and watching what needs to be watched. thinking what needs to be thought.

wouldn’t you watch a cooking video to be a better cook?

so what do you watch to be a better lover?

:rose:

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#15

Yeah I’m also a woman, I 100% agree.

I think my comment in the other topic of excess Jing not making me “too horny” is also related to this, as a woman you don’t lose Jing through orgasm so it’s not a way to release excess Jing 🤷

That’s an overly nice way of saying what you’re pointing at here…

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#16

I do only when I have no choice anymore, when too much energy accumulates, because I’m not comfortable with M. so about once a Month/ 2 months. I also know Sammy said that M depletes your Jing energy, to what extent, I don’t know, but it’s always a nice side benefit. My opinion on it is that, just like everything, it’s not problemo as long as you do it in moderate amount

I think it’s just an unhealthy industry for people’s mental health. but probably depends on the individual

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#17

I think listening to the body’s innate wisdom is one of the great gift we can give ourselves. But it requires discernment. I understand why in this day and age people usually don’t trust it. We have introduced our bodies to so many things that are not usually accessible in that quantity in nature (like refined sugar, or pornography to stay on topic) but without tools to connect to inner wisdom we tend to be unhappy, disconnected and will start cravings things that lead further to our unhappiness. Things like sugar and pornography wouldn’t lead to the problems they lead to if people were happy and whole. But we’re not taught to truly listen within and too often will do motivated reasoning to accommodate what the ego wants and mistake that for what’s good for us (yes I’m looking at you, me hahahhaha).

Anyway, I went on a tangent because it’s an interesting subject, but I completely agree, when you listen to your cells’ wisdom, you can’t be lead astray. It keeps being said to the point that it loses it’s profound truth, but everyone is different and well, that’s why it’s important to listen with discernment haha.

I think it can do as much damage as it can help. Like assuming that some technique that seems really good on film will actually please in bed. Also, men will naturally tend to choose movies that appeal to them so there’s a risk of it being a personal echo chamber. We have it easy on that front (women I mean) since guys usually enjoy fairly similar things so it’s difficult to be truly wrong. But while there may be a few common denominators, every woman is different, so i think the best bet to become a better lover is talking with the woman you are having sex with. I say as joke that if you want good sex, it’s mandatory to sacrifice one for science (sexual encounter, not woman!) :stuck_out_tongue:

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#18

What topic is that, now I’m curious! Jing and too horny didn’t work in the search (I’m kidding I didn’t do that)

Edited to add: nevermind! Couldn’t help myself and typed those words because funny and I did find it!

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#19

yea only males. M is beneficial to women according to experienced members on this forum

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#20

Yes! Feel so lucky to be a woman…!
Just get it on whenever. :wink:

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#21

Corruption doesn’t began with the individual it starts with the environment. I have a strong sense of justice but even I have enough empathy to forgive ted bundy. There was a video of him suggested that he was also a victim of pornography. Pornography lead to an ongoing cycle of finding that same hit that would fulfilled the individual desire which the victim will dig himself deeper and deeper while depraving him of all his senses. Pleasures dull the senses and intoxicate the flesh. I am sadden and it pains me to see all these lost souls who have to suffer the same pain as I did. This hedonistic society where pornography is a norm is lucky enough to survive. If it was in ancient japan samurais would have execute all the muderer family tree even the infants. Salvation to this impure world.

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