Also I have affinity for John Harvey Kellogg he invented kelogg cereal which was orginally intended to prevent masturbation.
Sorry psyenergy for contributing to derailing this thread but…
It’s beyond me how someone could write this down and not see how contrary they are.
Anyway I see the pain in your post so I’ll just leave it at that.
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This the same ancient japan samurais who were engaging in so much homosexuality that it was lowering the birth rate to extinction levels? (No reflection on homosexuality)
You know that’s the reason they blur penises in japanese pornography, right?
For fear of it leading to the “homosexuality” seen in feudal Japan times, in a country that has a historically low birth rate.
(I swore I wasn’t going to enter this thread…)
But per usual, I see it’s getting off track quite fast.
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I apologize if what I wrote might be triggering. Im not saying the samurais were saint, corruption will always be a problem worldwide through all times and location in this material realm. I’m just showing how they took extreme measure to safeguard purity. Im trying to encompass how much I feel regarding pornography but in end its up to the individual to do what they want I respect their freewill .
Yeah, no. Executing “all members of the family tree” isn’t purity.
It’s a zealot, pathological behavior over the “feared” topic of pornography.
Whenever one has to resort to “kill all the miscreants” in any ideology, it’s time to rethink one’s views about “how bad this thing actually is”.
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I can understand that pornography has had such a dire impact on your mind, you have developed a strong hate for it. You find it to be impure and intoxicating to the soul. I might even assume you consider it to be evil.
In my perspective, pornography is a tool. It is a thing. Just like any drug, it invokes pleasure. You watch people getting it on or doing your favorite kink, until your sexual energy erupts and gushes up and around your body as you bring yourself to orgasm. Boom… It’s a high. Short lived but a high nonetheless.
And still… it is just a thing. It isn’t evil. It isn’t good. It’s just something that can create a reaction within us. And it’s not always the same for everyone. It’s subjective. To some, porn is disgusting. There are also some people who can look at porn and it have no effect on them at all. It just… is.
Kind of like a bear walking by two bears having sex. Just something to look at for a moment then continue walking off to find some honey lol.
Problem with pornography is that once we hit puberty, our body is firing off a new need that pulses for fulfilment. Sexual need. Our whole lives up to that point, all we truly needed was to eat, sleep and play. Then all of the sudden, the same girls we would play tag with, transformed before our eyes into girls we wanted to play with naked. With your logic then, our bodies are ‘impure’. Because all of the sudden, our bodies would produce pornographic thoughts all the time. It’s just nature though.
Now, in this day and age… we don’t need to rely on our thoughts to get off. So as long as you have access to the internet, there is a ton of free porn to masturbate to and temporarily fulfil that sexual need. And it is very hard to resist. Sex is hard to come by (no pun intended) when you’re young so porn quickly satisfies the insane lust we have at that age.
And sex seems to be hard to come by in general these days… for many people at all ages and porn seems to be what grants them artificial fulfilment to that need. For some, to the point that it becomes mentally unhealthy for a number of reasons such as loss of confidence & willpower, depression, demented thoughts about sexuality, ext…
And many of those people suffering from the effects of porn addiction, blame porn for it.
Try not to be one of those people man. I agree that porn is too easily available and is extremely easy to become addicted to. Especially since most of us start watching it when we are very young and don’t know anything. I certainly was one of those people.
But porn wasn’t forced on me. It’s something I chose to watch. It’s something I chose to masturbate to everyday (and get caught cause the computer was in the damn living room). What I’m saying is… take some responsibility.
Let go of your hatred and blaming of the impurities of the world. That’s all perceptive. You make the world what it is by how you perceive it and if you perceive it to be impure, you will experience impurity everywhere you turn.
And that sounds sort of miserable. Holding on to hatred of something like porn creates a strong aversion to it whenever you hear of it. So it is a constant conflict within yourself… so much so, that part of you believes samurais were right in wiping off families to clean impurities. That’s a dark train of thought to ride on my friend.
So maybe, take that train on a lighter direction. But of course, think what you think. I’m just suggesting a new perspective that might help drop some of that weight off your mind.
PS: In my opinion, Ted Bundy is one of those people who can’t take responsibility for his actions. Blaming porn for what he became. Of course, it had some sort of effect but he failed to express that tormenting those women to death was his true pornography. He was making excuses for things he chose to do.
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yeah i just have souls connected to me who has experienced this behaviour so i do my best to use euphemisms.
i want to be able to talk about this to help others and not trigger anyone.
as a child, i grew up with so many restrictions to the point that i had to be sneaky about everything to actually feel alive.
i know this is not the case for everyone, but now that i have full control of all my actions, it is so refreshing to find new and healthy ways of enjoying my time here.
i wholeheartedly agree. there is a balance between watching performers and assuming everyone is into what you watched, and listening to your partner’s mind, body, and soul.
i’ve noticed that i didn’t really enjoy watching a man and a woman having sex because it felt so disconnected and extreme. i’ve only seen women having sex with other women in shows and they portray it with such love and understanding.
i’ve mostly watched men having sex with other men and yes they also have their ‘dark’ sides, but the connections being made is so true and fun. everyone is genuinely having a good time. you can see it before, during, and after the fact.
that’s alright my friend!
bound to happen. may i ask for everyone to help get the thread back on track with love and respect for all.
well today i learned!
thank you for your engagement. everyone is welcome in this thread as long as we get back on topic!
thank you for your contribution @SammyG
one of the reasons why i created this thread is to allow others (including myself) more information on sex and spirituality to help their growth in becoming who they always desired to be.
more information, means more choice, means more empowerment!
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Thank you for your input Sammy.
However, on this particular point I disagree with you:
The reason for that is that in order to say “no” to a drug/superstimulus you need your prefrontal cortex to be fully developed, which happens at the ages between 21-25.
The average kid today discovers porn between the ages of 10-12, which is far before their prefrontal cortexes have been fully developed to have a clear veto right against what the repilian brain says.
Those website that allow free access to porn sites without age verification use this principle to get kids hooked on porn and so that many then continue their excessive porn habits into their adult life and even forever.
Until the prefrontal cortex has fully developed the average teenager has been looking at porn for 10 years! In those 10 years many teens get mentally f*cked up by this.
It the same as in famous rat dopamine experiment: The rat chases the dopamine hit and presses the button again and again. Its limbic system overpowers the rat’s prefrontal cortex and thus the rat cannot resist but keeps pressing the button (until it starves).
Exposing kids to high-level supernatural sources of dopamine by a few clicks is in my opinion the same as giving out drugs to them for free on the street. Of course, the teens will be interested to look at the content, but before they know it, they become addicted to it as a main source of dopamine.
As explained before in some other thread, the problem with porn is NOT the erotica or the sexuality, but that it is a supernaturally high and freely available source of dopamine. With VR porn the supernatural dopamine source is now even much higher than anything you can find in the normal physical world.
To resist a supernatural stimulus and “consume in moderation” one needs to have an adult body with a fully developed prefrontal cortex.
And then again, since porn is a tool to get high, most people project their inner traumas with sexuality into all of this and so the tool becomes the crazy mix that it is today…
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‘Exposing kids.’ Who is exposing it to them though? The porn isn’t exposing itself to kids. I’m the one that google searched ‘free naked girl sex video.’ Then is it the internet’s fault? The internet isn’t an entity exposing kids to porn on purpose.
Is it the parent’s fault then? Nah. If you restrict your teen’s internet, best believe he/she will find a way around it.
Although, I do think thay properly educating your child about porn and masturbation can help him/her be better prepared for all the things you mentioned… but even then. A teen is his/her own person and you can’t walk their path for them.
Is it society’s fault? Maybe it’s our society’s fault for allowing porn to be so easily accessed in the internet. And the information so widely spread that every kid knows what porn is.
But what is society to do? Have stronger age restrictions on porn sites? That sounds good but also means we would have to find a way to track everyone’s real age online which would require some very strong anti privacy measures to be taken.
I agree that porn has a high chance of addiction and damage because of its ease of access.
But… this has become true for so many things in the modern age. Everything is so easily available and instant gratification is at the palm of your hand. The amount of games, entertaining content, porn and so on available to pull you in and cycle in that dopamine chase is staggering. That doesn’t make these things inherently bad, just easily used to exploit people’s attention.
And this isn’t going to change.
Porn isn’t about to removed from the internet. Content and games aren’t going to stop being created. It’s all going to keep exponentially growing. The only thing we can do at this point is become aware of this and not depend off of these things. And do our best to raise and educate our new generation to not fall privy to the dopamine chase.
I wasn’t educated about sex or porn by my parents at all. I found out all on my own. Things might of turned out differently if my parents treated me more like friends they were open with and that I can be open with rather than the child that must be obedient. And then educated me about these things.
I’m just saying man, these things (games, porn, ext) aren’t inherently bad. And I don’t think anyone is being forced to watch or play either. It’s just lack of awareness makes it so easy for anyone, especially kids, to fall to getting addicted to these things. Porn being the most damaging of them all.
(Love my parents btw. They raised me the only way they knew how ; how they were raised. Old school style lol)
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I got so much to say but cant right now but i will say that most of use dont start out with porn thats coming from a guy who never had his own phone untill year 10 not for my family having a lack of money but beacuse i was more intrested in xbox. It first starts steps by steps
But ur 100% we cant blame porn for our problems
i think i read it on this fourm but there is a country or porn website thats makes u face ID 
a bit like the I Phone. i guess that is one way but its stupid and most people will find a away around it.
By the time we realise were addicated its will be too late
same i was like way too old before i found out lol they didnt even teach us it in school when my other friends they was taught it when they were in primary school and even told me.
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Ohh @SammyG is here.
Im staying lol
Always love your opinions and thoughts on sex and relationship!!
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he seems like a very wise guy
There are also many other wise people on this fourm u read there ideas and how they view life and its like wow never see that like that way or never see it this way and so on. It crazy how this fourm has changed my ideas over the short time i have been here i think its been 3 to 4 months
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i really enjoyed your interactions as they were both insightful and provided me with realizations of my own relationship with pornography.
this is the first time i will share this side of myself.
imagine you were born and grew up in a religion that didn’t tolerate your specific sexuality.
imagine reaching puberty and realizing your sexuality is the very sin you were told not to be and do the moment you were born.
imagine that it wasn’t sex, but love you needed growing up. imagine not even knowing what ‘love’ is, but that feeling moves you to explore your options.
imagine not trusting your own family for that ‘love’ you are seeking as they expect you to fit their idea of who you should be in accordance to their religion. you couldn’t get that ‘love’ from your friends as well because all your friends go to the same religion.
at this point, the fear of physically being ostracized is experienced mentally and emotionally.
how will you react to porn when you discover it while growing up in that setting?
when i discovered porn, it was actual liberation. it was the extreme opposite of my ascetic life.
i definitely had my struggles, but i feel like that is the meaning of my spirituality. to experience both extreme ends and make my way back to the Buddhist Middle Way.
you don’t have to subscribe to my ideas. i just really like buddhist teachings.
it’s my intention that sharing this story will grow compassion towards those in similar situations.
these are our brothers and sisters we talk about.
thank you for continuing our discussion with respect and openness.
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Thank you for your perspective, But I humbly will provide several opposing views to what you stated. First off yes porn is a tool but the tool was originally created with a negative intention. Just as weapons, they are tools but in the end are concepts created from the impure mind. For me porn is anti life you might think it is the opposite it should promote procreation but in my opinion porn destroy empathy in the individual and sees other as object. Growing up I had a natural aversion to affection when i see people kissing I would cover my eyes. I also thought man and women didn’t have genitals even though i have one my young mind lol so when I see sex scene I thought they were just grinding against one another. I didn’t know what are genitals but my “friend” in 5th grade point to a drawing of a penis and I say it was a middle finger and he insulted me calling me the r word. Kids at that age were playing hookies and hugging girls and I couldn’t grasp why they did that. Within the same year I discover porn via an ad of a poker game my grandma was playing. I was curious and click on the link and life for me took a huge downhill declined from there. Coincidence? I think not. When corruption is widely accessible it will start inflicted the minds of children.
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Thank you so much for sharing all that, it was not only a very interesting perspective but really moving. There’s so much I’d like to say and ask, but then I’ll completely derail the thread hahaha. We’re redoing our backyard this week so I won’t be in front of the computer much but afterwards, I’d love to sent you a PM
I feel this way too. It’s not always easy but there’s never a boring day hahahah
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wise and objective words as always Sammy… Refreshing to read your objective posts
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It was created with negative intention? There’s some worldwide conspiracy of porn being created to harm people? Please do tell. I thought porn was created to make money lol.
It’s a form of entertainment that is easy to get hooked on. I agree that it has high potential for addiction but you can’t convince me it’s a nefarious thing mate. It’s just videos of people humping eachother lol.
I think you’re attributing your negative experiences with porn as something universal. You read about other people online having similiar experiences so all the sudden, they validate your world view of how evil it is. Man, there are millions of people who watch porn casually and aren’t negatively affected by it. You don’t hear about them because they just go on about their lives… and don’t have their empathy destroyed and whatnot. You’re only looking for the points that validate your point and not the contrary.
I think you have some personal aversions to sex in general that has attributed to this view. This is your personal experience with porn man. It isn’t universal.
I don’t think you’ll see things differently and that’s fine. Your views are yours. I do think that having deep rooted limiting beliefs about sex tends to create blockages in one’s sexuality (some of them reasonably due to sexual traumas, ext…). Loosening these blockages up will allow you to comftorably and confidently express your sexuality in its purest form. But there’s so much close mindedness about these kinds of things. Like for example…
People tend to use their personal experience to define the whole world. Reality is so much more subjective than that. For someone to say PORN IS BAD is like saying ‘I have observed every single person that has watched porn and saw that porn had a negative effect on every single one of their lives.’ Have you? Well if not, you can’t make objective statements like that.
In fact, I have a cousin of mine who saw porn when he was like 13(I showed him lol) and he was like mehh and wasn’t into it. Still not into it to this day and prefers using his imagination. Porn doesn’t automatically pull every single soul into its vaccum. And porn has even had a positive effect on some people like @psynergy (which I’d guess your mind automatically attributes as to her being suckered in and delusioned).
My overall opinion: Although porn tends to have a high frequency of addiction and negative effects on many men, it can also have positive effects on many people depending on the circumstances as well.
It’s all subjective. I keep pushing the subjectivity point as much as possible because I see too much closemindedness everywhere. People taking extreme sides and trapping themselves in the box of duality (good/bad, black/white). If there was only one thing I could to get into people’s heads, is to stop thinking in the 180° angle of black and white and instead, learn to think in 360° angle of every color and consider that anything is possible. Learn to do this and your mind will be free.
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@psynergy thanks for sharing that. I’m glad porn had a positive effect on you. Helped you come to terms with your sexuality and express it as well.
This thread now ended up stuck on whether porn is good or bad. Let’s steer it back on track.
I’ve come to learn that everyone’s sexuality is oh so unique. There are so many ways to percieve and express sexuality.
Sex is love manifested through bodily connection. Sex is pleasure through intertwining bodies in a million different ways. Sex is getting back in touch with your primal side and letting go with another person.
Sex is unity of two souls meant for eachother. Sex is trust and vulnerability in one’s nakedness. Sex is everything because everything is always exchanging and intermingling energies one way or another (credit to @om there ). Sex is… alot of things.
And what it is, is personal to each and every one of us.
How did you come to percieve and express sexuality in the way you do?
Do you feel you are free in your expression of sexuality? Would you say you are blocked to some extent in that regard? Why?
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That is such an interesting question. I have never thought about that before and the answer is: I have no idea 
Sexuality has always felt healthy to me, it makes me feel alive. When I couldn’t because I was in too much in pain it did feel like I was less alive somehow. And as strange as it may sound, it seems like a way to connect to source as well as to the person(s) -even in ways people wouldn’t associate as “holy” as I’m a fetishist- maybe because it’s a state of no thoughts (music does something similar), which was especially precious before I discovered meditation.
I did have the usual unfortunate experiences that are almost unavoidable as a woman but they somehow it did not make an impact. It felt like a cat that bites you because it’s been taught fear and not something to take personally (I am not condoning or saying it’s ok, just relating my personal experience).
To me sex is a bit like sharing a good meal in good company, but more intimate haha. It uniquely creates an occasion to know people in a relaxed context, seeing sides you wouldn’t otherwise. It’s fun, uncomplicated, pleasurable and it enriches life.
So I don’t know how I came to perceive it and express it this way, it was always like that.
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My life has taught me non duality in all possible ways and as much as I didn’t like it before, it’s the reason I’m here today… couldn’t be more thankful for it… :))
Thank you for saying that :)
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