Very interesting article.
For sure!
Great article indeed! Agreed with majority of it.
I have some questions though on one of the last paragraphs:
’ Today, I fear we are making the same mistake, only in reverse, by telling men (or boys) that they should be like women. They should like princess power. They should do more housework and perform more of the child care. They should work less and “lean out.” Men should go to therapy like women, cry like women, and be less assertive and more deferential.’
So is the consensus for men to just go back to not being in touch with their emotions and bottling them up? Or that if a husband and wife both work, that the man should still do no housework because he’s a man and that the women should pick up after all his slack and end up doing triple the work? That men shouldn’t be more present in their children’s lives and leave the mothers to do most of the parenting? That men need to go back to being stubborn and less empathetic to others? That we should make our lives all about work and work ourselves to exhaustion?
Like, how do we define a true masculine these days and does it entail some of the things I wrote here?
If so, then I personally think that’s degenerating back to being less of the best you can be as a human being. Forget about man or woman and I’m now just talking about our selves. This all just sounds like a downgrade to me personally. I think as a man, the goal should be to be as balanced as possible in my feminine while being as powerful as possible in my masculine. Like I definitely don’t agree with men having to appreciate princess power, be as emotional as women or to do more work than women do. That’s ridiculous. But finding a middle ground rather than leaning towards extremes will take us all so much farther in life and create much more balance between men and women.
Where are the people that talk about finding a middle ground? Why are so many people’s arguments about this so black and white?
This is why this topic agitates me so much. It’s the black and white nature of it that is getting everyone complaining absolutely nowhere. Like the woke crowd and their virtue signaling of ‘toxic masculinity’ and just trying to demean masculinity as a whole. Get out of here with that. Masculinity is an energy and at it’s height, it builds the future and evolves humanity forward. Just as any creative power, it is also destructive and we can acknowledge that. But that destructiveness is a force of a nature and without it, there wouldn’t be progress. The sum of man’s wars and overall destruction has equaled progress.
I understand the frustration a lot of men have and a lot of it comes from the media telling them that their natural way of being is wrong. And feminizing men in very extreme ways, to the extent there’s often media showing men being under women on a daily basis. I think that’s all quite too much and I believe that masculinity should be celebrated as much as femininity. Both energies couldn’t exist without eachother.
I certainly think we need more healthy male role models in the media that reflect pure and healthy masculinity with a balance in femininity as well. Being balanced in femininity doesn’t entail being girly or crying over your friend’s break up. It’s a matter of being very conscious of your emotions and naturally expressive of them, understanding/empathetic to others and open minded enough to allow for creativity. Having both adds much
The issue is that most if not all the male role models in this movement are so on the extreme side of masculinity, that they put off the rest of the world. I’ve heard and seen enough of Andrew Tate to see that he is not a positive role model for men and people will always tell me ‘you just don’t get him. He just says things for shock value.’ If you have to say things for shock value to get attention then you’re essentially saying that you need to be fake and an asshole to get places in life. That’s not a good example to set.
So my question and only real energy going towards this at this point is for people to come up with viable solutions. The solution women on the extreme side are saying is for men to give up their masculinity and become more feminine so we could get along better. That is not… happening.
The solution men on the extreme side suggest that we go back to how things are where women go back to working and men go back to being the providers… That is not happening. The majority of people that have a taste of freedom are not going to want to go back to being a dependant and be eliminated of having options. If my future daughter wants to be an biologist, I can’t ever see myself saying something like ‘no, you can’t do that. You need to find yourself a good man with a good paying job and take care of his home and kids.’ That option is over. Especially since AI and the incoming singularity is about to change the work force forever. I don’t even know what’s to come anymore.
So, what are some viable solutions we can think of?
Men typically don’t form friendships through casual small talk with strangers, unlike women. Our friendships often develop through shared objectives, activities, and shared environments. This tendency aligns with our biological predispositions. Men usually collaborate to accomplish goals for their families and society, while women often strengthen community bonds through social interactions. As men, we strive for capability, usefulness, and to be a part of a robust, efficient team. To nurture friendships with other men, it’s crucial to participate in joint activities such as sports, shared hobbies like video gaming, or connecting through work.
Mere proximity, like sharing a bathroom, is not enough to cultivate the level of trust and respect found in typical male friendships. These friendships thrive on a blend of humor, competitiveness, and common values and goals. Humor and competitiveness are crucial in male friendships as they facilitate sizing each other up, bringing out the best in us, and encouraging character development and resilience.
There are many issues happening at once.
I think it is safe to say we all appreciate life force/drive, especially when it comes to sex and romantic relationships.
Sadly, in current society, we seem to value long term projections, logical and abstract activities meanwhile we take our bodies for granted and place them as a tool or secondary thing.
This is why many people prefer to wear make up and dye their hair rather than eating healthy and doing exercise to look good naturally.
We forgot our bodies to survive in an era based on an abstract life style obsession.
Both men and women have standards, and I think both feel repulsed by the opposite sex when they do not take care of their bodies as they do.
Since I’ve started to take care of my body I see more women being attracted, and, at the same time I feel more sexually unavailable to women that do not take care of their bodies too.
I don’t sexually like women that do not take care of themselves.
I don’t mean looking good, but being aware of the food you eat, emotions, etc.
Why, WHY did I open this thread lol
from now on I will be addressing certain “upstanding” women “Your Tightness”
Did you enjoy the dinner, Your Tightness? Was everything to your liking?
But if seriously, the overall M/F dynamic currently is narcissistic on both sides. “MORE” or “NOT ENOUGH”. For the most part ppl think he / she be Da King / Da Queen and entitled to Da Best
sexuation is just a defense mechanism.
people shell into identifications to not feel excluded.
sedetarism and safe-seeking culture made people nuts.
heterosexuality is very repressive in nature.
if you go to an heterosexual night club most men and women are fragmented and scared of each other.
if you go to a lgbtq night club all people are happy, dancing and having sexual relationships in the open.
that’s because heteronormativity is restricted and regulated through very consistent identifications for heterosexual people. they live by the rules and it becomes very repressed on each interaction and each role each gender is supposed to play.
Would You Guys Raise Someone Else’s Child?
Be Honest.
I won’t and I would Never do it.
That’s one strong trait of mine, I value my own blood and seed tremendously (well, my future seed/offsprings lol), so I just find it not true to myself to get involved in a relationship with a woman who has children or to adopt, that one I can’t do either.
I would never consider that child my own anyway, so why bother…
Plus, resources being limited, I would rather raise my own children.
How’s your view on this?
Yes, I’m not against others who do it (although I think that many times, men do it for the woman and the child/children are just part of the deal lol), it’s just not for me.
Edit: I’m not against supporting orphans or poor children (as I’ve lost my father too, as a teen, so I can empathize somewhat), just not through adoption or raising them as mine.
This is crazy…
Be a man, and it’s assumed that you’re a (potential) sexual Predator and worse…
I remember this; it’s a very old footage that was uploaded a long time ago, so it’s not exactly flash news.
I see you uploading all these types of videos and feel upset about it, but you shouldn’t really worry about this stuff because you don’t live in any of these Anglosphere nations.
My stepfather has known me since I was two years old, my parents separated when I was very little, it was truly a blessing to have met him, the love he has for me is unconditional, then my brothers arrived, he always treated us all equally, I know that What happened to me is something not so common but I shared my experience with you so you can reflect. My stepfather always gave me unconditional support and loves me very much. He really considers me his son because he has known me practically since I was very little, I have always felt lucky for that. Sorry for my english is not my native lenguaje
Yeh, I find that some people these days focus a lot on these sorts of things and get rage baited by the algorithms really hard. For most people, they don’t personally run into these sorts of things (as shown in soulstar’s video) or have it happen to them ever but… since they see it online so much, it becomes a part of their reality that they fear and hate. And then, it evolves to becoming an actual trigger for many people. Now when they see or hear about it, they automatically feel anger or rage or fear or any of those sorts of negative emotions. That becomes a weakness in their mind.
It’s… really not worth it. That 's just another thing in your life that limits your peace of mind. I could start worrying about sex trafficking, the war in palestine/israel, plastics in the water and a million other things as well but unless I’m doing something about it, I’m literally just limiting my ability to be at peace and be the best I can be in this world… for the very little time I’m in it.
And you should know, content creators know that fear/anger/rage sells and gets the most engagement/views, so they will constantly push out the worst of people so that you get baited into it. Then you like or comment on the post and the algorithm feeds you more of that. Daily.
Happens to women too and they get the worst of men in their feeds as well. Just feeding into their rage and making them hate men more as well.
Do. Not. Fall. For. The. Rage. Bait.
It’s not just in the women/men sphere. The ragebait is everywhere. Even video games!
I love video games and follow video game news daily. And gaming content creators are also always rage baiting their viewers with videos that overexaggerate things or try to talk about the gaming industry like its completely falling apart and blah blah. And gamers fall for it all the time and lately so many of them would rather complain about games than play them and enjoy them for what they are. A fun game…
i’m really interested in knowing what’s your take on spirituality and videogames.
i’ve seen an statistic in which gamers where the demographic that had the most amount of sex.
personally when i used to play a lot, i also had much more sexual activity.
imo the body builds a lot of tension while playing videogames and it needs to release it, and sex is the most easy way out.
when i play videogames nowdays i can’t do it for more than half an hour because i notice how my body starts to build up stress and blockages fast.
if i play on hard mode, stress and blocks are worse.
Don’t play on hard mode.
Unless you are personally attractive to them, they will make every clue noticeable, but for the average guys, we really don’t know until they say it. I don’t want to speak for all of men because every individual is unique but just for the sake of generalization, we don’t take risk if we feel the girl doesn’t seem to vibe with us.
For instance, I chatted with a girl from my college, she barely talked to me as in ignoring my text messages when I ask for help, or just striking up for a general conversation and we keep it diplomatic so I sense the vibe isn’t there between us and I set the boundaries between us, only for a year later I got to know she had a crush on me, how am I supposed to sense that lol?
It’s hard for men to understand signals if it isn’t noticeable.
If she is playing “hard to get”, she is still stuck in her teenage years and playing stupid games, i.e. she is not an adult woman, i.e. not suitable for an adult relationship anyways. Only suitable for fun where you have to always take the lead as the sole adult in this dynamic.
Adult women clearly communicate what they want, because they have the self-responsibility of an adult, i.e. they understand that if they do not clearly communicate what they want, they will simply not get it.
So if that chick doesn’t do that, it is really her problem in the end and she has some life lessons ahead of her.
Everyone has to work on their communication skills, regardless of gender.
A mentally adult woman + she finds you attractive = very clear signals and communication