The Male & Female Dynamic of the 21st Century

[Byjrodriguez]

I understand the value of sexual energy, and support it, but literally 99% of men does not and even if they all did, in this actuality it is still necessary to offer other kinds of value (social status, money) to be have a chance in the dating market dont you think?

I dont know if my looks and tons of sexual energy could be enough to stop a beautiful and successful girl from looking for other men when I am no one and not making any money to provide security.

When a girl is successful she will only look for men at her same lever or better she wont date down

[JAAJ]

@Byjrodriguez

when I am no one

This is a strong lack of self love.
Of course, this needs to be fixed first.

The important thing about lack of self love is not that “women are not choosing you”, but that you do not allow yourself subconsciously “to be chosen in the first place”.

@Byjrodriguez

she will only look for men at her same lever or better

This is a severe limiting belief.
Money and status alone, without male energy, will only make you a beta provider, a walking ATM for her.
And then also, different women look for different things in men.
For example, a rich women won’t necessarily care about your bank account as she is already set – but she might be interested in something much rarer, namely your pure male sexual energy and how well you can pleasure her sexually…

If you think a woman will love you for money or social status, then you are not thinking about love in the first place, but about a hidden transaction of sex for money.

PS:
Most women despise nice guys exactly because of this.
Because nice guys put a transactional frame around sex.
“If I treat her nice, show my social status and provide etc. then I am entitled to sex with her”.
This is a lie many men tell to themselves on a daily basis.
But most women see right through this.
And then the merciless ones simply misuse the dishonest nice guys for their cheap game.
In the end, the nice guys are playing themselves and marrying gold diggers, just to be divorce-raped a few years later.
Nice guys lie to themselves and about their true intentions with women and thus reap what they sowed.

[SammyG]

@Noesis

What’s missing now, has been missing in most parts of the world for a very long time: True empathy from the heart; the unified heart where each person understands and is understood.

100%. Empathy awakening in everyone would solve much of the worlds problems. That being said, it would drive many people crazy. Too many people are far too self centered and can’t stand to empathize with people they have judged to be less than them. It would take a lot of mental and emotional strength for us as a whole to enter that empathetic collective state of consciousness. I don’t know if we’ll see it in our lifetime though.

But beyond the whole world becoming empathetic… us as individuals can as well if we want to learn how to better communicate and connect with others. It is the openness and willingness to allow others in. To allow the energy exchange that happens during communication, to extend past the walls we put up. That takes an enormous amount of strength though. And some people can’t help but have that level of empathy and they end up being brought down by negative energies all of the time. I think one must strengthen their spirit and learn to channel that energy exchange into a more positive and uplifting vibration… that doesn’t drag us down with it. That’s a topic for another day though lol.

[SammyG]

I’ve read ‘My Secret Garden’ and from my experience, those fantasies allude to some womens fantasies, not all. They were but a collection of womens fantasies anyways. As a whole, women are individuals and all have their own kinks and whatnot. Sexuality is a very personal thing and I haven’t found much universal themes that apply to every woman and man. We men are also the same. We are all not into the same stuff.

@shadowhunter176 Very mature mentality dude. Much respect to that. I think it’s very hard to separate ourselves from our hormones growing up. Being able to do that at an early age is a sign that you’re taming that inner beast. Because I’d definitely be lying if I said I wasn’t a puppet for my penis during my teens and early 20s. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. That is nature doing its thing. Nature is just… really agressive lol.

But some guys get carried away by that lust and stop seeing women as well… women. And I think that’s what you’re talking about here. Having that mentality will take you very far my friend. Now of course, if you’re attracted to a woman and want to further things with her, I do think its important as some have mentioned here, to make your intentions known. Very early on. Through eye contact, to desire them and see them as potential prospect. You don’t do that and no matter how great you are of a guy, you will never get anywhere. Desire is an essential element to the game of romance.

But you aren’t looking for that right now. You are working on yourself. On becoming the best you and from that, go where life takes you. That is a wonderful mindset to be on and will make you all the more attractive as well. Best of luck on that journey friend!

[Byjrodriguez]

I am writing from the manosphere/redpill pespective and how they would respond to this type of threads; that is how they are playing the game out there, personally sometimes I battle between these two “ideologies” but I know you are speaking facts

[JAAJ]

@Byjrodriguez

manosphere

My two cents about the manosphere:

(Healthy) Masculinity: The Concept

This will be long but important for both genders, so take a cup of green tea and read on… I am a man. This is a very important topic and one of the main reasons the world is f’ed up in the way it is. The world is f’ed up because most men are in competition with each other for female love – based on a collective cognitive dissonance that female love is scarce, that female love equals purpose and survival and that female love is dangerous at the same time because it binds the man and makes …

[SammyG]

@King_A

What I want to express firstly is the “complaining coping mechanism” does not help, please don’t fall into the trap and continue on the hamster wheel till your own downfall. We’ve mostly all been there, just don’t.

For real. Whenever I see men doing this, it’s sad because they are invigorating the belief that this is just the way the world is and they won’t ever be able to fix this ‘issue.’ It is reinforcing limiting beliefs in their mind that will limit them in permanent ways.

@King_A

Your picking up on the subconscious programming I was talking about right ?

Indeed. There is subconscious programming everywhere. But it doesn’t seem to me that it is always intended. Much of it is just a reflection of human psychology over the past thousands of years. Of course, much of it would seep out through media. Because some of the things you speak of such as conditional love, is very much a universal thing that isn’t just perpetuated in the media. Most humans don’t know what unconditional love is… at all. It takes a layer of selflessness that most people aren’t prepared for yet.

@King_A

Men are becoming more feminised through many chemicals such as estrogen and Astrazine in different foods and other areas,
Excuse my language but a lot of men are becoming females and the females males.

Females are taking in the same chemicals we are. If this was the case, then they would be getting only more feminine rather than masculine. I think many women are putting up more masculine roles because many men these days have become mentally weaker. The porn, incessant playing of video games and lack of knowing how to build things, do things and just be a go getter in relationships… has made women have to pick up that role.

Men did what they had to do because it was their only option. But now that men have all sorts of distractions, they come home from work and they prefer to engage in their distractions. And men are caring more about their looks. This is considered feminine but truly, now that women have so many options and women are also rather visual… men are caring more about how they look. Men are also getting more in touch with their emotions now that society is opening up the door for men to feel things. To cry. So I don’t blame chemicals on men becoming more feminine. I blame men growing up and getting in touch with a side of them they have denied for thousands of years.

And what I think men and women equality means in society today is fairness. Of course men and women shouldn’t compete in sports together. It wouldn’t be fair. But a woman can work in an office and do the same things a man does there. Can lead just like a man could there.

That is something we both are capable of. I know some men like to say that women aren’t capable of leadership because they are overly emotional. But women are capable of using her emotions as a strength and not allowing them to take over her cognition in the same way a man is able to let go of his rational mind and empathize with counter viewpoints as well.

What is of the mind, men and women have a leveled playing field. Many guys undermine women because they haven’t created or added much to society in the past several thousand years. But we also forget that we didn’t let them. I think in this day and age, we’re seeing the dynamic change because women are being given the freedom to work and create along with the men that didn’t let them do so for thousands of years. We humans aren’t fully used to it but we’ll adapt quickly.

I do agree that giving your life to a career is probably not worth it. For men and women. That being said, who am I to say what is worth it to a person or not. Idk though, seems kinda miserable for people in Japan. Gonna be hard to convince me that’s the purpose of life lol.

[SammyG]

@JAAJ

I think the key is not to remove your sexual desire.
But to avoid being needy.

Agreed. Completely surpressing that side of you unless you plan on becoming an ascetic or this is the path you’re on, can potentially cause more issues down the line. If you want women but force yourself to not to want them, you’re creating conflicting energy within yourself.

@JAAJ

Women can feel the difference in a man between his sexual desire that is a reflection of his male energy

Core confidence reflects this rather well. I think that’s where the aspect of not being needy comes from. Unattached desire is very attractive. And that’s why the nonchalant but flirtacious guys tend to be very successful.

@JAAJ

I would even say that 99.99% of experiences that you can make in the physical universe with a physical body cannot compete with authentic sex and intimacy.

Mmmm. I believe that to be very subjective. You can’t define what is truly valuable to some people. There are definitely quite a number of people out there that value verbal and emotional intimacy far more than sexual intimacy. Sex is not that important to a lot of people. It’s certainly important and a trasncendant experience to a great amount of people, if not most. But there are a great amount of women and men out there that value the other parts of a relationship more than sex.

[JAAJ]

@SammyG

people out there that value verbal and emotional intimacy

However for these types of experiences one doesn’t need to incarnate into a physical world. Aren’t we all come into this physical world to experience most of these things through the physical filter?

@SammyG

Sex is not that important to a lot of people.

I think that for many “it is not important” because they are surpressing their deep sexual desires and/or do not know how to manifest what they actually desire. And then because of this, they act as if it is not important. So basically a coping mechanism.

Sex is genetically hardwired into the homo sapiens sapiens creature so I would say that most people who say or act as if “sex is not important” are lying to themselves about a major part of their own human nature. Repressed sexuality is a major part to work on in any shadow work practice.

@SammyG

But there are a great amount of women and men out there that value the other parts of a relationship more than sex.

A relationship without sex, is a friendship.

[Kalacakra]

@SammyG

This is a great point I hadn’t considered. We forget how nature is in the background balancing things in its own way. Entropy is always followed by negentropy then followed by entropy. An endless cycle of chaos and order to chaor to order and so on. The shifting female/male dynamics was always going to have the scales tipped on one or the other side of balance. 50/50 equality just isn’t a reasonable goal.

Yes, the way I see it is nature sees for a while and then takes the matter into her own hands, like how nature created new bacteria to feed on plastic as humans are filling the oceans with astronomical amounts of plastic destroying the ecosystem. She can be ruthless as she wants!

[SammyG]

@JAAJ

However for these types of experiences one doesn’t need to incarnate into a physical world. Aren’t we all come into this physical world to experience most of these things through the physical filter?

Mmmm… not true. There’s a lot more sex going on in ther other realms than in here, I’ll tell you. Well, even then, there’s something I can imagine is a bit difficult to grasp. But I’ll share it. Everything is sex. Everything is exchanging energy all the time. We are always merging and creating reality together by both percieving eachother and the environment we are in at the same time. It’s a symbiosis. I become you, you become me. Even by just being around people in an environment. Physical sex is a much more direct and intimate form of this merging of course but it’s all in essence the same… Verbal and emotional intimacy is sex too! If you were to zoom in to our particles as they intermingle with one another you’d see it’s all sex my brotha.

@JAAJ

think that for many “it is not important” because they are surpressing their deep sexual desires and/or do not know how to manifest what they actually desire.

Generalizing peoples desires once again. You are not everyone and niether am I. I think humans are much more complex than our primitive bodies seem to suggest. Remember, we are spirits having a human experience, not the other way around. And more often than not, over time, our spirits mold our bodies funcitioning depending on our preferences.These bodies are but our machines for our minds. Of course, the machine has certain defaults that most people default to but in many cases, mind reprograms these machines.

And as I said, I do think the majority of people love sex and find it important. But I’m telling ya, you get to know enough people and realize its really not that important to a lot of people as well. And I don’t sense its because they are sexually repressed. We’re just all our own people. We aren’t all automatons with the same exact functions.

@JAAJ

A relationship without sex, is a friendship.

I would agree with this. There are some asexual relationships out there though. And although me and you might not find asexuality to be legit or something cause by sexual trauma or repression, it is very legit to them. And I’ve read with some of them never even have experienced sexual trauma or repression of any sort. The desire just never came. Not something they ever feel the need for. At all. There are billions of people out there my friend. There are many, many variations of us. Hence why I tend to believe there aren’t objective truths that pertain to every single one of us. Infinity doesn’t tend to work that way.

And by the way, I hope you don’t feel any sort of way when I disagree with ya. I like having these discussions. They are fun and disagreeing with someone is never personal for me. Just sharing my thoughts. As I personally don’t really know anything and am just talking out the booty lol. (had to say this cause I forget to use the words maybe, could be, and whatnot in my texts sometimes and sound like I’m talking objectively. When that’s quite the opposite of my thoughts on these things)

[Sarumann33]

in my eyes it is all about oversaturation, envy and competition.

the world we call civilised will do anything possible to oversaturate the brain with stimuli and artificial emotions, archetypes and programming.

the warmth of a real family lacking everywhere.

real virtue abhored and made fun of.

for a normal man to try and impress a woman now there is nothing left. all is already given to her from …the industry…

in my opinion the darkness of today spreads like a forest fire trough channels of envy…even through the jeleaous people of our world. there is nothing to stop this game.

[Sarumann33]

if you forum members expect to change something you should be looking at the earth under your feet.

the women reflect the earth and take its energies easily.

if we as community try with all our tools to heal the earth wherever we live we will in short time relieve a renewal of everything that we consider wrong also in the subject of relations between people.

[DR_MANHATTAN]

Lots of gloom and doom in here

[JAAJ]

Hi Sammy,

@SammyG

Mmmm… not true. There’s a lot more sex going on in ther other realms than in here, I’ll tell you. Well, even then, there’s something I can imagine is a bit difficult to grasp. But I’ll share it. Everything is sex. Everything is exchanging energy all the time.

Yes, I agree with you that sex is energy exchange on all levels.
I wrote something similar as you here some time ago:

@JAAJ

Sex itself is not just limited to the physical body.
It takes place on the astral plane as well with astral bodies.
I see sex primarily as an energy exchange and only in the physical world, as a secondary function, also for procreation and social bonding.

@JAAJ

Yeah, but that sexual impulse is not limited to the physical plane and physical bodies. The sexual impulse comes from an exchange of male and female energy, which you have on the astral and higher planes as well.

In deed, astral sex and energy exchange takes place all the time, even on the physical. When two auras meet it is already happening. That magnetism between a man and woman, even if they do not touch each other, sexual energy exchange is already taking place via their auras

…what I meant in this particular thread here is that we come into the physical world to have unique experiences where all of this exchange happens through the limitations and the filter of the physical bodies.

@SammyG

And I don’t sense its because they are sexually repressed.

In my experience 99% of people on the planet have some type of repressed sexual energy.
For example, if someone has even the slightest feelings of shame when being naked (even when being physically alone and even in the so-called sexually liberated West), then this is already a type of repressed sexual energy and expression. Body shame and healthy sexual expression cannot co-exist.
That is just one example and there are many more how most people have repressed sexual expression. In so many countries couples can’t even hold hands or kiss in public…

@SammyG

There are billions of people out there my friend. There are many, many variations of us. Hence why I tend to believe there aren’t objective truths that pertain to every single one of us.

Yes of course. Usually the statements that we make in such discussions are only generalizations and not universal truths.

@SammyG

And by the way, I hope you don’t feel any sort of way when I disagree with ya. I like having these discussions.

Not at all. Thank you for your kind consideration. I find these discussions too very beneficial for me to see the perspectives of others. It is a great excercise in ego dissolution for me – even though it is difficult for me at times (because wanting to share with others what I found out so far about how the world works, is a deep drive inside me).

@SammyG

in my texts sometimes and sound like I’m talking objectively

Same with me…

Take care man!

[SammyG]

Much love to you as well my friend

[SammyG]

Much love to you as well. Although I would be rather accepting if this whole human thing doesn’t work and we get wiped out… I don’t desire that either. We have our many flaws but we also have many strengths as well. We are dual creatures. Negative and positive and it doesn’t matter what time period you incarnated in, you would have to deal with humanitys dual nature.

Any other time in history was inundated with war, with tyrannical leaders, famine, horrible plagues, very low life expextancy, ext… the outside world was very dangerous. And now that it is safer than it has ever been in the history of our species, humans are suffering because they have to deal with the world within. With our fears, with our mental weaknesses and shortcomings and so on.

What I see now in men is their inability to cope with their shortcomings. Inability to rise up and adapt to change and become the best man they can be. So that yes, they can attract women. So that they can live the life they want to live. You have to fight for it. Push for it. It’a always been that way.

You might believe that it would have been so easy to get a woman back in those days. Well, you had to provide for them and doing that was hard work. Painstaking work that never ended. Working to survive and nothing else. And even then, often that was not enough with death looming at every corner. Life was harder. You could not be lazy in those days. You had to push day in and day out to survive.

And now life is easier than it has ever been. It truly is. You have all the knowledge in the world at your fingertips to improve yourself. You have all the dating apllications, locations and whatnot to find what you are looking for. To practice. To master yourself. Food is easy to come by so you have all the time to focus on improvement.

But you allow these negative thoughts of giving up and wanting the world to end to win you over. That is giving up. If you incarnated in another time period, would you have given up when you couldn’t find food for your family? Incarnating in this planet was never going to be easy. There was always going to be challenges and rhe challwnge now is that you actually have to work on yourself to attract women.

Men think it was easier to deal with women back then because they had all the power. But it still wasn’t! Women were still women. Read all the poetry of the olden times and you’ll read of men complaining about their wives. Why do you think so many men used to beat their wives?

They were also unhappy. What people don’t understand is that an unhappy wife results in an umhappy man. Your wifes happiness will affect your psychology. Whether you like it or not. And all that is being asked of men in this day and age is to be more mindful and respectful of women. And become more mindful of our own emotions and find balance within. Is that really such an insufferable task?

You are not owed anything in this world. Always remember that. Thinking things would be better another time period and hating the time you live now is escapism. It is the inability to accept things as they are. And to push forward with all the willpower in you. If you are to prevail. You are to live in this moment. To breathe it. Accept any challenge that comes your way and work through it. Because you are another face of infinity. Capable of anything that any other person is capable of so as long as you believe.

But you choose to believe there is no hope. You choose to believe the best thing that could happen is the world ends. You reject your circumstance. And so you reject your higher self. You reject you. Because you are all this. All the world, all your circumstances. All of it.

So wake up. The world isn’t going to end. And the day you pass, you will incarnate here again and again and again until you prevail this game. You ask why did I choose to incarnate here? It’s clear your higher self chose to incarnate here because you have work to do. There are weaknesses in your consciousness that need fine tuning. There is growth to be had. And the challenges you face now are meant for you to work through your issues and grow out of the patterns you find yourself stuck in.

So wake up now. Wake up and grow out of that doom and gloom mentality. Don’t allow the suffering voice in your mind to win you over. Wake up! And take control of your life.

[SammyG]

I know I sound like I’m putting you down. I know I sound agressive. But understand, I am doing what I can to speak to your soul. I might have failed. It’s not easy to listen to someone who speaks with that level of directness towards you but it all came from a place of love. I want to see you grow. I want to see you elevate past that escapist mentality that has taken so many people in this world. It is draining and will keep you down for the rest of your life. Don’t be one of these people. Wake up.

[ryantraveling]

I see an erosion of the family unit, leading to eventual crumbling of society. Maybe this has been the goal of the higher powers of society with an international population going out of control in numbers.

Polarities becoming less polar. Masculinity being trodden upon, femininity being looked down upon. The strengths of masculinity and femininity are not being lauded. Instead, the ‘grey zone’ is being emphasised. Homogeneity instead of heterogeneity is encouraged.

Would a man be attracted to another man? Or a woman be attracted to another woman? Even in homosexual relationships, there is a polarity that exists between the two partners. Without polarity there cannot be a spark. This imbalance of polarities, and the understating/underwhelming of polarities, even to the extent of denouncing them (e.g. ragging on toxic masculinity, weak femininity requiring power) instead of transforming them into healthier expressions - will surely lead to a generational problem.

[Sarumann33]

on note of your answer to Lucius.

I dont feel that somebody would simply respond /change when one hears the words wake up, grow it over…a personal decision to give up will be allways there. i also dont feel one will reincarnate only because one gave up once.

One good path for these times would be: to find and resolve his/her personal issues until the issues of his/her enviroment start to be clear to him/her and then begin healing both.

the one hope i have is that all of the mud poured over all of us is only a hopeless atempt of the dark to remain.

of course it is painful, it is war, there will be victims, but now, unlike any age before, one has a real choice to be a warrior, a victim or dissapear completely.

@Lucius to you i say: nobody, here or anywhere, is in the right position to say what the whole polulation deserves. you have alot of research to do if you are to make such a conclusion. alot of understanding and feeling of energy.

then, when you are in your in the clear sort of speak, you can make alone your own mind whether and what the whole population deserves. because when you go deep enough to see the exstend of damage delt, you will never be inclined to say; we deserve all of it. no matter from which side of the barrier we stay…no matter how spiritual/materialistic we are.